Crucial info hidden from voters!
This weekend, as I was skimming through something I’d TiVoed back in April, a commercial caught my eye. Oregon’s three leading Democratic candidates for the U.S. Senator’s seat were having a debate, and the local news was pimping it as the lead story that night. What caught my attention was the fact that the candidate standing at the middle podium was substantially shorter than the other two. That made me pause my fast-forwarding. Then I saw that this shorter candidate ALSO had a hook in place of his left hand.
Why did no one tell me that one of Oregon’s senatorial candidates was a dwarf with a hook for a hand?!
His name is Steve Novick. He narrowly lost the Democratic nomination to Jeff Merkley, who now faces the Republican incumbent Gordon Smith for Oregon’s senate seat. I didn’t follow this primary very closely, and I never watch TV news (or even TV commercials, thanks to TiVo), so while I knew the name Steve Novick, I had NO IDEA he was a hook-handed dwarf.
Why was this not mentioned in every news story about the election? How could I have read (or at least skimmed) so many newspaper articles about the campaign and still never know that Steve Novick is 4’9″ and has a steel hook where his left hand should be? I probably would have voted for him on that basis alone!
Apparently Novick himself has made joking references to his unusual physicality, which is cool. All I’m saying is, he needs to do it more often. Get the word out! Let people know that a vote for Steve Novick is a vote for a tiny man who is partly made of metal!
October 14th, 2008 at 10:51 am
LoL That’s SO awesome. If I still lived in Oregon, I would totally vote for him.
October 14th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
What? No pirate references?
October 14th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Ohmyword that made me laugh.
Reverse Hookism is totally acceptable in this country, and as well it should be. Hook-handed people have been oppressed for centuries, and to have someone capable of rising so far in the political world with that kind of opposition says something about his character.
Some say that wearing a hook in place of a hand is a choice, but I firmly believe he was born that way.
October 14th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
(Unfortunately for his mother.)
October 14th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
He lost because:
…he couldn’t get a handle on the situation.
…his campaign slogan didn’t have a strong hook.
…voters were always out of reach.
…he didn’t stand up enough to his opponents.
…questions about his character dwarfed the issues.
…he’ll never be the head of a major corporation.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Actually, he DID make one notable pirate reference:
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2007/9/19/161641/685/115/387356
October 15th, 2008 at 7:23 am
I just see this as first step in the inevitable rise of the machines. Yea, it all starts with someone who is PART machine, but before you know it the Roomba storm trooper squads are going to be patrolling the streets.
October 15th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
If you would just lay off that dang TiVo now and then, you wouldn’t miss these gems.
Novick’s ads were a little uncomfortable. His short jokes weren’t obvious (or funny) enough to know that it was OK to laugh. They usually referenced the “little guy taking on big politics” or something like that (See? Not funny.) And I think he kept the hook in his pocket most of the time. Yargh!
Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go consult my TV Guide and set the timer on my VCR. (Do you hold RECORD and then hit PLAY, or is it the other way around? I can never remember.)