(For complete background on this feature, read the introduction here. But here’s the gist: I registered a fake e-mail address for actress/singer Raven-Symone and announced it here, with the disclaimer that it wasn’t real, figuring dumb people would ignore that part and write to it anyway. And I was right.)

It is time once again to open Raven-Symone’s mailbag (if you know what I mean) and make fun of the simple-minded children who write to her. I would have run a new edition of this feature sooner, but the volume of mail received at Raven’s fake e-mail address has slowed to a trickle in recent months. Most of what she gets now is very generic (“Hi Raven, I love you!”) or consists only of her fans inviting her to join them on Facebook or MySpace or Beebo or JimJum or Froofraff or whatever.

But here’s what we do have! Enjoy!

CHILDREN’S LETTERS TO RAVEN-SYMONE

May 15, 2008:

Is this raven -symone?(YES or NO)answer please>This is all I need to know.

* * * * *

June 3, 2008:

Hi Raven

I watched the Oprah Show where it feature the reunion of the Cosby Show and Raven-Symone appeared on the show.

She looked fabulous and I really loved the lipgloss colour she has used on the show.

Could you please please let me know the brand name and the colour of the lipgloss please.

The colour she used was in a pale pinkish shade and it looked great on her skin colour and would like to have that please.

Do let me know.

Thanks
Annie

[Note how the letter begins by addressing Raven directly, then switches to referring to Raven in the third person. This is a literary device pioneered by Joyce and Faulkner, so I'm impressed that Annie was familiar with it.]

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