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2009 SXSW Dispatch: ‘Troll 2’ Screenwriter Replies

At Cinematical, I wrote about my experience seeing the hilariously bad “Troll 2” for the first time, in response to the South By Southwest screening that followed “Best Worst Movie,” a documentary about the film’s cult following. Now Rosella Drudi, the Italian woman who wrote the “Troll 2” screenplay (and wife of the director), has posted a comment on my article in which she says … well, honestly, I have no idea what she’s saying. But remember, this is how well she speaks English now, 20 years after she wrote “Troll 2.” I’m starting to understand why the film’s dialogue is so nonsensical.

They are much content of the involuntary happened one of this old film turned in 1989 to Park City in Utah.E’ one of the first history that I have written, today is to 100 scenarios. I do not understand because horror demential comic and intentionally ironic on the sense of the life and against the fanatical vegetarians us, or be considered mistaken, defective and involuntarily comic. Because it is not wanted to be understood that l’ idea originates them is a comic and ironic history. Perhaps because l’ European irony is difficult to understand for the Americans. I do not know. The title it Troll2 is not true, the just one title it of the film is Goblin, the title it of the script is Goblin. The MGM America, has changed to the title it with Troll2, not I and not even the director of the film. The MGM America has declared that Troll2 is the continuation of Troll, but is not true. I have not never seen that film and I do not know it. I have sold my history to Eduard Serlui for the society ” Eureka film” Serlui made to realize the film to the Italian society ” Filmirage” like executive producer. I hope finally that the truth comes mnemonic. You could not know it. The actors of the Troll2 film ” Goblin” they were not actors. They have been chosen to Park City, nobody of they was a true actor professional. The director, Claudio Fragasso has asked to it to recite in that way ” strip comic” and funny, in order to make to laugh the public. Troll2 is a fable for children a crazy horror, much comic. The film did not have to be prohibited, nothing censorship, therefore nothing blood that I have replaced with the chlorophyll, using the green color of the goblin, North European Celtic legend, like monster vegetarians many fanatics us of the salutista, macrobiotico food. I have used the goblin like vampiri, using the amburger (tipical american food) of meat to the place dell’ Saint water, of the , like the mortadella of the famous sandwich ” Bologna” this is the true name of ours mortadella, a company for my Italian identity, a way in order to laugh to us on, but you could not know it. They are much content that a film thus small, turned in sun 4 weeks and only cost 50 or 60 million old Italian lires, in 1989, today is a phenomenon, are content that the cast of the actors, particularly Michael and George, today make transactions also with gadget of they the production, and te documentari director ,ex baby goblin actor, thanks to my small history and the personages from me invented and the food from invented me. Rossella Drudi

22 Responses to “2009 SXSW Dispatch: ‘Troll 2’ Screenwriter Replies”

  1. Kaydria Says:

    This must be farce.

  2. tkangaroo Says:

    This is beautiful, Eric. Thank you. You have made my Thursday.

  3. Rob Says:

    My head hurts.

  4. Lohengrin Says:

    That settles it. I’m watching Troll 2 this weekend.

  5. Tanya Says:

    It sounds kind of like she wrote that paragraph in Italian, ran it through one of the online translators to get it in English, and pasted that. And it’s entirely possible that before pasting it she ran the English version back into Italian, and then ran that version back into English again. You know, just for fun.

  6. KMD Says:

    I think the only sentence in there that I understood was “I do not know.” and really, I must agree wholeheartedly with that sentiment!

  7. Savvy Veteran Says:

    Oh my goodness. That has to be one of the most perfectly baffling things I have ever read. What??

  8. JeremyB Says:

    “I hope finally that the truth comes mnemonic.”

    Me too.

  9. tinabanina Says:

    Definitely the product of an online translator.

  10. tinabanina Says:

    If you make an effort to try to see what she might have been saying, it’s possible that she makes sense and is a perfectly respectable person. I haven’t seen the movie, so I can’t really say, but it sounds like she’s saying:
    1. The movie is meant to be funny. (Something about European humor?)
    2. It was for kids (all movies for kids are bad, aren’t they?)
    3. And it was a cheap one month project, not a real movie, that’s why they didn’t use real actors.

  11. Amp Says:

    Wow. I think I might have to buy Troll 2 because of this.

  12. Marc Says:

    Seriously, some people’s children… Trying to pass off Troll 2 as an intentional comedy is a load of bull. That being said however, this letter still makes more sense than anything in Mortal Kombat 2!

  13. Tatiana Says:

    You can tell it’s an online translator because you can still see the E’, l’, and dell’, which I believe are contractions, that the translator does not recognize and therefore ignores. Also salutista and microbiotico and vampiri, probably not in the dictionary. Then again, amburger and tipical are not English words, and I am pretty sure they aren’t Italian either. So… yeah, an interesting screenwriter.

  14. Sean Says:

    I think we all hope finally that the truth comes mnemonic. It’s one of those hopes shared by all mankind.

  15. Craig Says:

    There’s no question that this is the result of machine translation. The apostrophe words give away the untranslated Italian original. I dumped Ms. Drudi’s posting into Babelfish and the Italian actually makes a bit more sense as some of the ambiguous word forms become clearer.

    Pulling out my Urim and Thummim, I’ve attempted to correct this to what *I think* she was trying to say. It would be interesting to get her Italian original and make a real translation. I’ve interspersed a few interpretive notes in brackets:


    I am very happy for the unintentional event that this old film was shot in 1989 in Park City, Utah. [*Per IMDB, it was shot in Porterville, UT.] It was one of the first stories that I had written; today I’m up to 100 scripts.

    I do not understand why a zany and deliberately ironic horror comedy on the meaning of life and against fanatical vegetarians, is considered a mistake, flawed, and unintentionally funny. (People) do not understand that the idea was intended to be a comedic and ironic story. Perhaps it’s because European irony is difficult for Americans to understand. I do not know.

    The title Troll2 is not correct. The real title of the film is Goblin, and the title of the script is Goblin. The title was changed to Troll2 by MGM America, not by me, nor even by the film’s director. MGM America claimed that Troll2 was the sequel of Troll, but it wasn’t. I have never seen that film and I do not know it.

    I sold my story to Eduard Serlui for the film company “Eureka”. Serlui decided to make the film with the Italian company “Filmirage”, as executive producer. I hope that at last the truth may be known. You would not have known this.

    The actors of the film Troll2 (Goblin) were not actors. They were chosen in Park City; none of them were true professional actors. The director, Claudio Fragasso, asked them to recite in that funny “comic strip” way, in order to make the audience laugh. Troll2 is a fable for children — a crazy, rather funny horror story.

    So that nothing would cause the film to be prohibited or censored, I replaced blood with the chlorophyll, using the green color of the goblin (North European Celtic legend), and made the monsters vegetarians, health nuts, fanatics of macrobiotic food. I treated the goblin like a vampire, using hamburger meat (a typical American food) in place of holy water. The bologna of the famous “bologna sandwich”, whose real name is mortadella, was a [nod?] to my Italian identity, a way to laugh at ourselves, but you would not have known this. [*I think she meant that this was a linguistic in-joke, since mortadella, the Italian word for bologna, is reminiscent of “morte della….” (“death of the …”).]

    I am very happy that such a little film, shot in just 4 weeks, which only cost 50 or 60 million old Italian lire, in 1989, is a phenomenon today. [* This was about $42K-$50K at the time or $66K-$80K now.]

    I am also happy that the cast of the actors, particularly Michael and George, do business today on basis of the production, and that a former child actor of Goblin is the director of the documentary, thanks to my little story and the personages and food I invented.

    Rossella Drudi

  16. Weinberg Says:

    I may like to re-print that translation on Cinematical, if that’s cool.

    Also, Eric’s the man. You guys should see him down here at SXSW getting all the “Oh, I know that site!” and “I love your stuff!” and “Idiot. Four Seasons is RIGHT NEXT TO WEINBERG’S HOTEL, WHICH YOU WERE AT FIVE TIMES.”

  17. David Cornelius Says:

    For fun, I ran it back through Google’s translator, from English to Italian and back again. There wasn’t any difference, really, so then I went from English to Japanese and back twice, resulting in this. Enjoy:

    Today, Park City Utah.E’1 1989, the first article was written is not satisfied with the success of the intention of shooting the film’s 100-year-old scenario. What is it intentional?, Comics and horror of life in the ironic way, unconsciously comical flaws or defects that do not understand the fanatical vegetarian and demential. Why, ‘is, is to understand the irony of the original cartoon. Probably, ‘it is difficult for Americans to understand the irony of Europe. I do not know. This is not true Troll2 movie, the Goblin, the Goblin is the title of the script. I, MGM U.S., Troll2 I can not change the title of director of the film. In the U.S., Troll Troll2 MGM is continuing, it is not true. I know I have not seen the movie. Movies I “Eureka in Italy as” Serlui EGUZEKUTIBUPURODYUSA companies “Filmirage” Eduardo Serlui to me to have to sell the movie. I, finally, you need to remember the truth. Did you know. Movies Troll2 “Goblin actor,” They are not actors. In Park City, is the person chosen to present a professional actor. As directed by Claudio Fragasso “cartoon of prayer”, and the fun, make the audience laugh. Fables for children Troll2, senseless fear is very comical. This film, GURINGOBURIN prohibits censorship by the blood and nothing can be replaced by the chlorophyll is not color, but the health of our Celtic legend vegetarians most fanatical monsters of the Nordic people as a natural food. I, instead of meat amburger (typical American food), ‘Day Wednesday, MORUTADERRASANDOITCHI “Elf in Bologna and died the death of a vampire by using the” mortadella us where this is my identity in Italy is well-known method used is unable to know the actual name of the company that is laughter. These small, 50 or 60000000 Lires cost of old Italy, in 1989, today’s action, only the specific content of less than four weeks after the cast is actor Michael George, a lot of production, when gadgets , Director MAIRITORUSUTORI and character, invented by the inventor of the documentary’s main dish, a former child actor elves, thanks to a major trade. Rossella Drudi

  18. hazelnutmegan Says:

    If that re-translation is correct, it seems as if she was writing to say “thanks” rather than to harrass you.

  19. Megan Says:

    It is especially fun to read in an Italian accent.

  20. Nelson Says:

    Can I use that as my Master’s Thesis in Creative Writing? Really, I couldn’t do anything more fun to read if I tried.

  21. Genevieve Says:

    Thanks for posting that Craig. Makes a gazillion times more sense now :)
    So this was a “zany and deliberately ironic horror comedy on the meaning of life and against fanatical vegetarians.”
    WOW! The meaning of life was in there? I will have to rewatch it closer.
    p.s. it should be noted that most “fanatical” vegetarians do not resemble those goblins at all, i.e. me.

  22. galensaysyes Says:

    It’s obvious in watching the movie which parts of it were meant to be farcical or satirical. But since so many people apparently fail to get it, maybe it should have been pitched dumber, and therefore doesn’t deserve all of the derision it’s attracted. Ditto with the screenwriter’s letter, whose meaning can be made out with a little effort (not to mention a little charity).

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