Eric’s Bad Movies: ‘Surf Ninjas’ (1993)
“Surf Ninjas,” ladies and gentlemen. “Surf Ninjas.” That’s the offender in this week’s edition of Eric’s Bad Movies at Film.com. I’m sure what I’ve written fails to describe exactly how punishing this movie is. There’s nothing worse than a bad comedy. NOTHING.
I see that it opened on Aug. 20, 1993, the same day as Jean-Claude Van Damme’s “Hard Target,” which I distinctly remember seeing in theaters and which I would not be surprised to see turn up in Eric’s Bad Movies someday. “Hard Target” was a box office success, though, while “Surf Ninjas” was an instant flop, so at least there’s occasionally some justice in the world. My “thanks” (I think) to the numerous people who have suggested “Surf Ninjas” as EBM fodder over the last 18 months. I knew you were right; I was just putting it off.
November 5th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Hysterical review, Eric. The things you put yourself through so we don’t have to….
November 5th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Well, it’s finally happened, Eric has reviewed a bad movie of which I am fond. My years of reading angry letters sent at Eric have prepared me for this moment.
Eric, I now despise you and your writings. I retroactively hate everything you have written. I will now be sure to read everything you write in order to keep my ire up.
November 5th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Is that Rob Schneider in a kayak with a paddle next to the phrase “Surf Ninjas”? Now I’ve seen EVERYTHING!
November 5th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Great review, I remember seeing this movie a long time ago, somehow blocked it out of my mind and forgot it stars Rob Schneider which made this write-up even funnier. Bad movie.
On another tangent, I desperately hope you review The Room sometime soon. Having seen more than just the two minute clips on youtube, I can attest that it is one of the worst movies ever made. It rightly belongs next to Battlefield Earth, Batman and Robin, Howard the Duck etc,.
November 7th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Upon further review, I have concluded that there is nothing wrong with this movie whatsoever…
But maybe I’m just blinded by nostalgia.
Although, the trailer is, in fact, God-awful.
November 7th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
In 1996…
I was on a bus with a sticky floor and a broken seat that would not recline, while traveling overnight from Warsaw, Poland to Vilnius, Lithuania.
The bus company had provided the passengers with a video to pass the time. Someone turned it on and the promos came up… they were for “Apollo 13″ and “Braveheart,” two of my favorite movies.
And then, the main feature,,, “Surf Ninjas.” Trapped on the bus for hours and hours, we were forced to sit through the entire thing.
The only thing that made this at all better was that the movie was dubbed into Polish, which I do not understand.
November 17th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Don’t you wonder how these movies are greenlit? I feel like there was some boardroom with a bunch of 30 and 40 year-olds talking to a 50+ year-old corporate ceo-type guy.
CEO Guy: “Folks, what do you have for us? We need a movie that appeals to kids.”
Middle-management guy: “Well, kids like surfing. We could make a movie about surfing.”
CEO: “Surfing? Hmmm. We need something more! Is this all you got?!”
Middle-management lady: “My kids really like ninjas.”
Geeky guy with glasses and thick stack of papers: “And market research shows that kids respond strongly to both surfing and ninjas…”
CEO: “Brilliant! Let’s make a movie about kids who surf and are ninjas! What should we name it?”
Middle-management lady: (hesitantly) “S-…Surf Ninjas?”
CEO: “That can’t fail!”
November 24th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
“There’s nothing worse than a bad comedy. NOTHING.”
Unless, of course… it’s that movie’s SEQUEL!!