Eric’s Bad Movies needs bad movies
Ever since Eric’s Bad Movies debuted at Film.com, almost two years ago, you guys have been extremely helpful in suggesting suitable films. In fact, of the 95 movies I’ve covered as of this week, probably 15 of them were ones I’d never even heard of until you recommended them. This puts me in the unusual position of being grateful to have discovered “Gymkata,” for example, a movie that I doubt had previously ever produced positive feelings of any kind.
It’s getting harder to find good material — especially as the list of films I’ve already covered grows and grows — and so I come to you again now for more suggestions. Post them in the comments, or feel free to send me an e-mail or a tweet. The guidelines are below, along with a list of what I’ve already covered (including tomorrow’s entry! See if you can spot it among the already-rans!).
Thanks for your help! Eric’s Bad Movies is really a community effort, except that I’m the only one who gets paid for it.
Guidelines for Eric’s Bad Movies
1. It needs to be really bad. Films that are merely mediocre are a waste of time.
2. The film should be considered bad by most people, not just you. I don’t want to have to convince the reader that the movie is bad; I want us to be on the same page from the get-go. I know it’s hard to gauge a consensus sometimes, but use common sense. No matter how much you happen to hate “Titanic” personally, surely you understand that yours is not the prevailing opinion.
3. It needs to have been released theatrically. No straight-to-video or TV movies.
4. Nothing from the 2000s. I probably already reviewed it when it came out, and I’m trying to avoid double-dipping. Think 1999 and earlier.
5. No comedies. Comedies are very hard to make fun of because they already don’t take themselves seriously. When I have tried, I have usually failed. Should I feel a need to dip into comedies, I already have a lengthy list of suitable ones.
6. I prefer well-known titles over obscure ones. This is the guideline that’s most flexible, since there’s a finite number of famous terrible movies and I’ve already done a lot of them. But it’s more fun when the reader is at least vaguely familiar with the subject, so try to think of those first.
Eric’s Bad Movies so far:
The Adventures of Pluto Nash
Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold
Anaconda
The Arrival
The Avengers
Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend
Batman & Robin
The Beastmaster
Beautician and the Beast
Bio-Dome
Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo
The Care Bears Movie
Cobra
Cocktail
Congo
Cool World
D-War: Dragon Wars
Death Wish: The Face of Death
The Delta Force
Double Impact
Dracula 2000
Ernest Saves Christmas
Firewalker
The Forbidden Dance (is Lambada)
Frogs
Garbage Pail Kids
Glitter
The Good Son
Grease 2
Gymkata
High School Musical
Howard the Duck
Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf
Hudson Hawk
The Ice Pirates
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Inspector Gadget
It’s Pat
Jack
Jack Frost (killer snowman)
Jack Frost (family movie)
Jaws: The Revenge
Judge Dredd
Kazaam
King Kong Lives
Kull the Conqueror
Krull
Leprechaun
Leonard Part 6
Mac and Me
The Mangler
Masters of the Universe
Meteor
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
The Neverending Story III
The Next Karate Kid
Night of the Lepus
On Deadly Ground
The Other Sister
Orca
Over the Top
The Pagemaster
Patch Adams
Power Rangers: The Movie
Red Sonja
Shanghai Surprise
Showgirls
Silent Night, Deadly Night
Sleepaway Camp
Speed 2: Cruise Control
Spice World
Star Trek V
Staying Alive
Stone Cold
Street Fighter
Supergirl
Superman III
Superman IV
Super Mario Bros.
Surf Ninjas
Surviving the Game
Tarzan, the Ape Man
Teen Witch
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
The 13th Warrior
Timecop
Troll
Two of a Kind
Volcano
Waterworld
The Wiz
The Wizard
Wizards of the Demon Sword
Xanadu
Zardoz
March 3rd, 2010 at 4:36 pm
While waiting for Cool as Ice to come out on DVD, there is a Spanish dubbed version on you tube that is even funnier than the original.
March 3rd, 2010 at 4:49 pm
How about “Under Siege 2: Dark Territory”? It’s Steven Seagal, it’s the flop-tacular sequel to his alleged best movie, it has Eric Bogosian (seriously) as the big villain, and it features “Grey’s Anatomy” star Katherine Heigl in an early role as the Seagal character’s niece.
Also:
“Karate Kid III”
“Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace”
“Cool as Ice” (Must not be available on DVD/VHS. No other explanation for why you haven’t done it before now.)
“Baby Geniuses” (1999)
“Love in Paris” (aka “Another 9 1/2 Weeks”)
March 3rd, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Dungeons & Dragons! It’s from 2000, so it’s barely outside, but if you haven’t reviewed it yet, you definitely should write it up here. That movie still makes me throw up in my mouth a little. =(
March 3rd, 2010 at 4:57 pm
The Curse (1987) and Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell (1978)
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:03 pm
At the Earth’s Core (1976)
I found it while flipping through channels a few weeks ago. This column was my immediate thought as I watched it, awestruck.
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Mannequin (1987) Kim Catrell and Andrew McCarthy. I don’t think this was supposed to be a comedy.
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:20 pm
I still recommend Fortress (come on, it’s Christopher Lambert) and Kiss of Death (Nicolas Cage), both of which I will only admit to having seen in the theater because my name is not posted here.
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:21 pm
Surf Nazis Must Die
Rawhead Rex
The Toxic Avenger
Ghoulies
Rhinestone
Yentl
Stop or my mom will shoot
Killer Klowns From Outer Space
Repo Man
C.H.U.D.
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Aw, you can make an exception for Sly Stallone’s OSCAR, can’t you?
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Here’s some! I put stars by my favs.
The Buttercream Gang
Basketcase*
C.H.U.D
Gleaming the Cube
I Drink Your Blood*
Joysticks*
Lambada ( a good companion to “The Forbidden Dance”)*
The Manitou*
Monster Dog (starring Alice Cooper)*
Ninja Turf*
The Pit*
Skyscraper (starring Anna Nicole Smith as a helicopter pilot with a hostage situation)
Soldier
Tales from the Crypt
Theodore Rex
Trilogy of Terror
Truth or Dare*
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:39 pm
I think Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the new one. It’s the only one I don’t recognize, anyway.
A girl I dated once made me watch “Troop Beverly Hills” with her. That relationship didn’t last.
“Kindergarten Cop” was really dumb.
When I was like 7, I watched a movie called “Kid Colter” with a friend. It was about some kid who runs away from bad guys and becomes a mountain man/boy or something.
And when I was a teenager, we had “The Last Dinosaur” on VHS. It was hilariously bad. We loved the scene where they launched a rock at the dinosaur, and you could see it bounce off the rubber head.
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:46 pm
Come to think of it, I believe that same girl made me watch both “Yentl” and “Oscar.” So yeah, that relationship was doomed from the start.
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Heartbeeps
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:53 pm
I know you requested well-known titles, but these are just crying out for your treatment. I actually reviewed both of these for my high school newspaper!
Solarbabies (1986)–Check it out on imdb, you’ll see it had lots of major stars of the day as well as newcomers who became famous later.
The Wraith (1986)–Also featured some big names; Charlie Sheen, for instance.
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:55 pm
Shipwrecked (1991)
Death Wish 2 or 3
Mars Attacks
I second Karate Kid III
The Caravan of Courage (Ewok Adventure)
I know its very recent and may be too controversial, but it was so bad we laughed ourselves out of seats: The Book of Mormon movie
Throw Mamma from the Train
Anything in the Children of the Corn series past the first one.
Universal Soldier
Dune
Labyrinth
Cutthroat Island
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:56 pm
I second the nomination of The Curse (1987)
Ishtar (1987)
The Brave Little Toaster (1987)
March 3rd, 2010 at 5:58 pm
I second Dungeons and Dragons. That might be the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. It comes off as if it was put together by 6 editors that worked independently. And it was their first project after dropping out of film school. And they were drunk.
Not to mention the directing, the plot, the acting, and the special effects, all of which sucked.
March 3rd, 2010 at 6:10 pm
How about “Saturn 3″ (1980)? A nude, aging Kirk Douglas and a complete disregard for the vacuum of space.
March 3rd, 2010 at 6:41 pm
I say it every time, and yet it never gets used. “Super Baby Geniuses” doesn’t violate any of the rules for EBM eligibility, and it would make a great one, too! Please, “Super Baby Geniuses!”
March 3rd, 2010 at 6:44 pm
I’ve got to submit “Riki-oh: The Story of Ricky” (1993). It was released in Hong Kong, and then again in the US as a limited release. This gore-tastic movie needs to be seen by anyone and everyone.
March 3rd, 2010 at 6:50 pm
“Super Baby Geniuses” doesn’t violate any of the rules for EBM eligibility
Except for rules #4 and #5, you mean.
(Link.)
Other films mentioned that I reviewed when they came out: “The Book of Mormon Movie” and “Dungeons & Dragons.”
March 3rd, 2010 at 6:53 pm
“Commando,” an early Schwarzenegger film, is awful, indulging in every cliche in the book.
“Junior” and “Twins,” two other Schwarzenegger “family” films, are atrocious.
March 3rd, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Try Billy Jack – the caucasian native american cowboy who fights rascists with his kung fun
March 3rd, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Carrie Fisher in The Burbs with …
Tom Hannks who was i The Money Pit with …
Shelley Long who was in Hello Again
I would also second The Book of Mormon Movie, but I’d be more than happy to let that one fade quietly into absolute obscurity.
March 3rd, 2010 at 7:12 pm
Barb Wire
Look Who’s Talking Too
Look Who’s Talking Now
Teen Wolf Too
Revenge of the Nerds 2: Nerds in Paradise
Conan the Destroyer
Blues Brothers 2000
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III
*batteries not included
Solarbabies
Tank Girl
Ladybugs
Mitchell
Final Justice
Shanghai Surprise
March 3rd, 2010 at 7:24 pm
I would suggest “Gingerdead Man” starring Gary Bucey. A convicted murderer (Gary Bucey) is reincarnated into a cookie who proceeds to slaughter an entire bakery.
March 3rd, 2010 at 7:56 pm
Anything with Madonna
This violates #4, but you didn’t review Vin Diesel’s Babylon AD (2008) when it came out. It’s awful.
I think you should do Clash of the Titans because (a) it’s awful; and (b) some people love it and I want to see some angry comments.
March 3rd, 2010 at 9:36 pm
I’ll throw in a vote for “Cutthroat Island”–so, so bad.
“Fresh Horses”–I remember I couldn’t even get through it as a teenager, and that’s saying something.
“The Love Letter” (1989) was suitably awful, but even though it was not funny it may have been meant as a comedy.
“Satisfaction” was so bad that Liam Neeson claims he never watched it after starring in it.
“Sleepwalkers”–a particularly foul Stephen King offering.
March 3rd, 2010 at 9:49 pm
The Last Action Hero
March 3rd, 2010 at 9:55 pm
After suggesting it in each of the previous nominating rounds, I am going to recommend Ator the Fighting Eagle, one last time.
It’s like Beastmaster, but even more incompetently done. It stars the guy who played Tarzan (a previously “Eric’s-bad-movied” film). It is the first film in the Ator series, of which Cave Dwellers (as seen on MST3K) is the sequel. It has great dialoge:
Ator: I love you.
Sunya: And I love you.
Ator: Why can’t we marry?
Sunya: Ator, we are brother and sister.
Ator: I’ll talk with our father.
Please, please, please choose this one!
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:09 pm
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band starring The Bee Gees — recently showcased on HBO and avail. on netflix. I have seen a lot of weir sh*t, but this was definitely the weirdest.
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:19 pm
I would second “The Fortress” and what about Highlander 2 or any of the highlanders after that, what about Beowulf (1999) it might violate rule #2, it was recommended by a video store clerk who just LOVED it and was recommending it to everyone, but I think he was in the minority. Now that I think about it maybe I just have a thing against Christopher Lambert.
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:35 pm
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There were three live action TMNT movies in the early 90′s. They were part of my childhood, and I loved them as a kid, but I’m pretty sure they’re all ridiculous – especially the sequels. After you did the Power Rangers movie, I hoped you’d get around to the original TMNT movies, too.
Commando. I’m not sure what the consensus is on this movie, but I thought it was absolutely absurd. And it stars Arnie.
Riki-Oh: Story of Ricky. I wholeheartedly agree with Ben that everyone needs to see this movie. It’s hard to find, but if you manage to find a copy, go for it.
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:42 pm
I got one!
Boondock Saints II, which I actually paid money to see, I am ashamed to admit. A young fellow of our acquaintance wanted to see it and there was nothing more promising available, so we rolled the dice.It is guy brain candy in much the same way that the Twilight films are girl brain candy. Forgive the mixed metaphor, but it’s a ripe field of guy brain candy.
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:59 pm
(a couple of these were in the 2000′s, i’m sorry!)
Drive Me Crazy (1999)
Gooby
Novocaine
Bad Timing (1980)
Southland Tales
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai
Darkman
Psycho (1998)
Sgt. Kabukiman, N.Y.P.D.
Bringing out the Dead
Day of the Dead
Face/Off
Kiss of Death (1995)
Maniac Cop (any of them)
Thrashin’
Hard Ticket to Hawaii
Westworld
Spasmo
Father’s Day
Steel (1997)
Virtuosity
Fear (1996)
Black Knight (2001)
The Last Boy Scout
The Man in the Iron Mask
My Giant
Excess Baggage
(HOW DARE ANYONE CALL REPO MAN A BAD MOVIE?!)
March 3rd, 2010 at 11:19 pm
My senior year of high school my mom got me a VHS copy of Attack of the Killer Shrews (1959) as a gag gift for my birthday. I know it’s a little more obscure, but my friends and I had a blast turning off the volume and MST3King the film.
March 3rd, 2010 at 11:22 pm
Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park
Spacejam
March 3rd, 2010 at 11:33 pm
BARB WIRE
JAWS 3D
COLOR OF NIGHT
PIRANHA 2: THE SPAWNING
RADIO FLYER
March 3rd, 2010 at 11:43 pm
I second, and possibly third or fourth or fifth:
Mannequin
Piranha 2: The Spawning
Throw Momma From The Train
March 3rd, 2010 at 11:57 pm
Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann (1982)
I’m surprised you haven’t done this movie yet. Just wait until you get to that great twist ending. Worst movie ever!
Also, you don’t need to rent it. It’s on Hulu.com
March 4th, 2010 at 12:04 am
Gotcha…A paintballing cloak and dagger movie starring Anthony Edwards w/ hair! ’nuff said.
March 4th, 2010 at 1:24 am
3 ninjas; which gave every young boy false hope that they could fight grown men, and that it was cool to shout the lines, “let’s run!” “let’s hide!” “let’s kick their butts!”
Also, Richie Rich.
They may be remembered as family comedies, but they surely are not.
March 4th, 2010 at 1:29 am
Also, “Steel” with Shaq. Equally as bad as Kazaam.
March 4th, 2010 at 1:44 am
And i second twins. Danny Devito and Arnold as twins. Those are hours of my life I can’t get back.
March 4th, 2010 at 4:06 am
I 2nd Panda’s suggestion of “Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park”. It meets all the criteria and it is at least as astoundingly bad as any other contender you have reviewed.
5 mins of Youtube research will confirm this to be true.
March 4th, 2010 at 7:38 am
I again recommend Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and WaterWorld.
Also, anything — I repeat, ANYTHING that starred Hulk Hogan. No Holds Barred, Suburban Commando, Santa with Muscles, Mr. Nanny, the list goes on and they’re all terrible.
March 4th, 2010 at 8:26 am
The Mod Squad
Battlefield Earth (okay, it’s from the 2000′s, but BARELY, and it was SO BAD)
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare
March 4th, 2010 at 8:46 am
Braveheart: it’s from 1995, you didn’t review it, and it’s bad, Batman wi’ a Scots burrr. Unaccountably it won the Best Picture Oscar, though it wasn’t even the best Historical Drama set in Scotland — that honour goes to Rob Roy, better in every way.
Actually, trashing low-budget crap is shooting fish in a barrel. It’s much better, more authentic and way funnier, when you take a popular movie and point out what crap it is. I also enjoy your take on Pseuds like Catherine Breillat — ‘this is one of the Frenchest movies I’ve ever seen’ cracked me right up.
March 4th, 2010 at 8:48 am
I second Rawhead Rex.
Oh.
My.
Gosh.
March 4th, 2010 at 8:56 am
A lot of you guys are requesting movies that I really love. “Repo Man,” “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai,” “Labyrinth,” “Dune,” “Mars Attacks,” Face/Off,” “Westworld,” “Darkman…” Or maybe enjoying crazy sci-fi/fantasy movies is the mark of a weirdo, like me.
The worst movie I’ve ever seen is “Boondock Saints.” Somebody already mentioned it, but I’m seconding it.
This is disregarding a few of the rules, so it’s not really a “suggestion,” but the most disgusting and unintentionally hilarious movie I’ve ever seen is “The Butterfly Effect 2.” I mean, I was screaming at my TV, and I’m not the sort of person who usually does that. I seriously had to wonder about the psychiatric state of the screenwriters.
March 4th, 2010 at 9:01 am
I can’t believe no one has ever suggested “Kingdom of the Spiders” with William Shatner. One of the funniest movies ever, though I don’t think it’s a comedy.
March 4th, 2010 at 9:02 am
Jaws 3 was always a horrible 3-D film.
March 4th, 2010 at 9:04 am
The other day I turned on “Santa With Muscles” on demand with my kids. WOW, it was bad.
March 4th, 2010 at 9:25 am
Project X. Teaching monkeys to pilot planes, need I say more?
March 4th, 2010 at 9:26 am
Another vote for Karate Kid Part III, Suburban Commando, and Jaws 3.
I’d also recommend:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: the Secret of the Ooze, which has the craptacular dance club scene with none other than Vanilla Ice;
Stop, or My Mom will Shoot (a Stallone movie – bonus!); and
Rocky V.
March 4th, 2010 at 9:41 am
Megaforce with Barry Bostwick. I think its from 1982. I wanted to see it so bad as a kid. I saw it 8 years ago and it was atrocious. And I can’t get enough of it. It’s freakin great!
March 4th, 2010 at 9:48 am
I agree that Steel should be on the list. It was far worse than Kazaam. Also, Gleaming the Cube… An 80′s movie in which Christian Slater plays a skateboarding rebel with an asian brother?!? It also has a young Tony Hawk as a minor character. The Toxic Avenger was also pretty terrible. In honor of all the comic book movies coming out I also recommend Captain America (1990).
March 4th, 2010 at 9:56 am
I agree with the previous comments: when/if you finally have to do a comedy, Oscar should be at the top of the list.
March 4th, 2010 at 9:58 am
I’m not sure how you feel about returning to a series that you’ve already utilized for EBM, but my first two suggestions are still worthy candidates:
“I Still Know What You Did Last Summer”
“Jaws 3D” (already mentioned several times.
Also, you could take your pick from parts 4, 5, or 6 of the “Nightmare on Elm Street” series, though I’d recommend part 6, “Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare” over the others.
March 4th, 2010 at 10:16 am
Freddie the Frog, also known as Freddie as F.R.O.7. It’s a terrible, terrible cartoon with every French stereotype you can imagine. The lead character is an anthropomorphic French frog. James Earl Jones is the narrator according to IMDB, but I don’t remember that from seeing it in my youth but it has traumatized me to this day. I don’t know if it’s on DVD or if it was ever in theaters, but it would make a great installment.
March 4th, 2010 at 10:29 am
Mr. Boogedy and Bride of Boogedy. Some of the worst films I have ever seen, yet for some reason I watched them many times as a child.
March 4th, 2010 at 11:01 am
Braveheart? See #2, dude.
March 4th, 2010 at 11:02 am
I was looking forward to your review of :
Bangkok Dangerous
(I think most Nick Cage movies could qualify)
Anyway, maybe I will still get to see you review this film.
March 4th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973)
March 4th, 2010 at 12:55 pm
I would like to second Bangkok Dangerous. That was 2 hours of my life that I will never have back.
March 4th, 2010 at 1:15 pm
“Cloak and Dagger” (1984), featuring Dabney Coleman and Henry Thomas in probably his only post-”E.T.” role.
March 4th, 2010 at 1:35 pm
* The Bad News Bears Go to Japan is the worst color film I have ever seen.
* I see you have several suggestions for C.H.U.D. I don’t think it’s bad enough for you. However, C.H.U.D. 2 – Bud the Chud is PERFECT for your purposes. It also features the single worst theme song ever recorded.
* “If you run it backwards, it has a plot.” That’s what Robin Williams said about his 1980 film Popeye. The characters speak in a bizarre internal monologue style.
* Space Camp. The WTF? moments in this all-star monstrosity make Battlefield Earth look like neo-realism.
* You haven’t hated a movie until you’ve sat through every last frame of Kevin Costner’s The Postman.
* I agree that you should do: Waterworld, Highlander 2 and Saturn 3.
I see once again you have a ton of suggestions that are comedies or are film well-liked by most people. Rules were made to be broken I guess.
March 4th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Oh, golly yes! You have to do Megaforce with Barry Bostwick! Also, Space Truckers with Stephen Dorff. I’m still apologizing to my husband for renting that.
And, a movie that leaves most of us around here speechless with . . . I’m not sure if it’s shock or horror, but speechless, anyway:
The Terror of Tiny Town.
According to the credits, the little people are owned by the producer. Oy.
March 4th, 2010 at 1:48 pm
The 80′s movie “House”. It’s a horror movie that also *tries* to be funny. Should it be scary or funny? I don’t think those two were really supposed to play together.
March 4th, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Have you ever mined imdb.com’s list of 100 worst movies? Or how about the Razzie nominees for worst picture? The latter might be influenced by popularity backlash, but it’s got to have some real doozies all the same.
March 4th, 2010 at 2:17 pm
Michael, if it’s any consolation, I’ve suggested Labyrinth every previous time, and so far, it appears to have been flat rejected. I checked Rotten Tomatoes, and apparently it has a non-trivial corpus of defenders/apologists. I’d just assumed they all watched it stoned, or they were deaf and blind or something.
I second “Space Camp.” And speaking of space movies from the 80s, I loved “Flight of the Navigator” and “The Last Starfighter” as a kid, but looking back, I’m pretty sure both were astronomically stupid.
March 4th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Jingle All The Way
March 4th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
What about the North Shore? It’s about a kid from Arizona who wins a surfing competition at the local wave pool. Not satisfied with man-made waves he decides to “go to Hawaii to surf the big waves of the North Shore.” Of course, the locals don’t like him especially when he starts dating but he eventually earns his keep.
And, what about Rad? It’s on the best movie ever made about trying to do a backflip on a BMX bike.
Can you tell I spent a lot of time watching HBO in the late 80s?
March 4th, 2010 at 4:21 pm
I have more!
Double Team
Twin Dragons
Bad Channels
March 4th, 2010 at 4:22 pm
Double Dragons.
It’s about as bad as Super Mario Bros.
March 4th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
“Zombie! vs. Mardi Gras.” If you can find it. It’s very hard to do so.
“Silent Night, Deadly Night 2.”
March 4th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
The original Boondock Saints. It has a cult following but I can’t understand why.
March 4th, 2010 at 5:35 pm
D’oh! Sorry for the idiocy; I meant the *original* “Baby Geniuses!” I didn’t consider it a comedy, and it’s from 1999, so I thought it was eligible, but I got the name wrong. Still, even as a comedy, I figured the horrifically creepy lip-synched babies alone would be enough to make fun of. Eh.
March 4th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
Wing Commander.
ugh.
March 4th, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Cop and a Half
Spaced Invaders
March 4th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
I would recommend “Nothing But Trouble 1991.” All I remember* about this movie that my sister insisted “looked hilarious” was two men in fat suits and diapers in a junkyard chasing Chevy Chase and Demi Moore.
* I was nine when we rented it.
March 4th, 2010 at 6:07 pm
It always amazes me that despite Rule #2, people suggest popular movies, fully aware that they are popular, because they personally didn’t like them, as though they are completely dumbfounded that anyone could disagree with their opinions on movies.
Anyway, more suggestions:
Undefeatable (which has a famously awful fight scene at the end – I believe it’s on YouTube somewhere)
Three Ninjas (same vein as Surf Ninjas)
I can’t believe no one has suggested The Room (2003). However, it might be another Troll 2 in that it’s so aggressively, hilariously bad that mocking it is redundant.
March 4th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
I’m sure there are more, but these are what come to mind.
Free Willy 3 (1997)
How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)
March 4th, 2010 at 7:19 pm
Has anybody mentioned “Jungle 2 Jungle”? I even checked Rotten Tomatoes—18%. So it is as bad as I remember it being. I don’t know if it was supposed to be a comedy. It certainly wasn’t funny (not even in a “hilariously bad” way). It was just painfully dull and stupid. And as far as comedies not taking themselves seriously, it certainly tried to have some heavy-handed message about fathers being unselfish and loving their sons or something. So I think it qualifies.
March 4th, 2010 at 8:08 pm
The Pirate Movie- bad acting, singing, Star wars jokes, etc.
March 4th, 2010 at 9:39 pm
Spawn (1997). Definitely the worst comic book movie ever–and that includes the Fantastic Four movies.
March 4th, 2010 at 10:41 pm
The Phantom with Billy Zane. Catherine Zeta-Jones is in it, and so is the girl from the movie Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. I think Treat Williams is the Bad Guy in it also. I still pull it out for guys night get-togethers for an MST3K experience.
March 4th, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Killer Clowns from Outer Space
Christopher Columbus: the discovery
starring Tom Selleck as King Ferdinand. Seriously one of the worst films ever.
March 4th, 2010 at 11:51 pm
Heaven’s Gate. It actually put a studio out of business, it was so bad.
Bulletproof Monk. Chow Yun-Fat drinks his own urine.
March 5th, 2010 at 4:01 am
I second ‘Spawn’!
‘The Asylum’ production company is a treasure trove of films so utterly terrible that the only reason people sit through them is because they’re rooted to their seats in horror.
‘The Asylum’ rips off of other, widely publicized films to make a quick buck.
For example, ‘Snakes on a Plane’ was massively hyped. So ‘The Asylum’ spent about eight dollars on a ‘film’ called ‘Snakes on a Train’.
‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’ came out. ‘The Asylum punished humanity with ‘The Day the Earth Stopped’. ’10, 000 B.C.’ earned double its box office. So ‘The Asylum’ brewed up something called ’10 million B.C.’ And on and on. They’re hilarious to laugh at.
March 5th, 2010 at 6:58 am
Once again, I am going to push for The Pest, which I actually love, but mostly because of the fun memories from freshman year in Q-Hall (you like my appeal to emotion?).
Also, I noticed that Never Say Never Again hasn’t been suggested, and I don’t believe you have reviewed it.
I suppose The Pest is a comedy, but you could argue that it an action film in the same way as one might make such a case for Tropic Thunder. Never Say Never Again, however, is totally compliant.
March 5th, 2010 at 7:46 am
I was surprised how terrible Hitchcock’s Vertigo was. Jimmy Stewart is unintentionally creepy, and it ends with [a big spoiler that I'll ruin for people who haven't seen it just because I don't happen to like it]? So stupid.
March 5th, 2010 at 8:56 am
The Room (2003) director Tommy Wiseau
March 5th, 2010 at 9:09 am
You’ve got to do “Longshot” or “Longshot Boys”
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082676/
A movie about Foosball? Horrible!!!
March 5th, 2010 at 10:51 am
I think you need to make a “2000′s” exception so you can go back and rectify the B+ you gave Pearl Harbor. It was only from 2001 anyway. That means it was mostly made during 2000 (which is actually part of the 90′s).
It’s an insicere and cynical attempt to remake Top Gun, Titantic, Saving Private Ryan, and Castaway all at the same time. Go watch it again and you may retch.
Bonus: two-thirds of its wikipedia page is devoted to its historical inaccuracies, and how much the critics hated it. (In one shot of the harbor they left in the USS Arizona Monument!)
March 5th, 2010 at 10:52 am
As a mother I am so glad you have the Care Bear Movies on your list. My mother bought the VHS of this for my kids at a thrift store. It is AWFUL.
But, she also bought “Thomas and the Magic Railroad” which is a live action Thomas the Tank Engine movie starring Alec Baldwin and it is WORSE! I have seen it numerous times due to a Thomas-addicted kid and still can’t figure out the plot! It makes NO SENSE and the acting is awful. I can’t believe somebody ever thought the screenplay was good. They must have been making changes as they filmed because it’s the only explanation.
March 5th, 2010 at 11:16 am
Went to RT and checked on my suggestions. They classify Pest as a Comedy, so I lose there (even if it is a 9% rating); NSNA pulled a 64% (60% with top critics). I don’t know if 64/60 is low enough.
I respectfully withdraw my nominations for violations of rules 5 and 2, respectively. Even if I think they were good ideas.
March 5th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Oscar is off limits. It is really, really funny. I’m sorry, it is. I understand that there is not a lot of love for Stallone, and that is something that I can respect, but there is no reason the movie Oscar should suffer because Stallone happens to be one of the characters.
Now, on the topic, if you want to pick on a bad, truly Stallone movie through and through, then you gotta go with Daylight. Ridiculous. Plot holes galore and terrible acting all over the place.
March 5th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
I have to say that “Maximum Overdrive” with Emilio Estevez is exceptionally bad and exceptionally funny. Worth it!
March 5th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3.
March 5th, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Friday the 13th VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, which makes me think of a true gem…Muppets Take Manhattan
I will second Junior, Twins, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (even though they are all comedies…) and Spacecamp (even though I, personally, adore it in its awfulness)
March 5th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Hercules in New York. You can hear car horns in the background during scenes taking place on Mt. Olympus. And Hercules is played by Schwarzenegger. Yeah. It’s terrible.
March 5th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
I’m going to throw in another vote for Cutthroat Island. Also, Lost in Space really deserves to be on the list.
March 5th, 2010 at 4:04 pm
For everyone who requested comedies thinking that your comedy is an exception because it’s really really bad and unfunny, I’ll do the EBM column for you:
Eric: “Wow, you were right. This comedy isn’t funny and therefore is a really really bad movie.”
There you go.
March 5th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Jaws III aka Jaws 3D, aka the god awful Jaws movie starring Dennis Quaid set in a Seaworld-like theme park where a mother shark gets revenge for her babies being killed. Hilariously bad.
March 5th, 2010 at 4:28 pm
Flashdance
Ninja 3: The Domination
March 5th, 2010 at 10:43 pm
Night of the Comet (1984)
March 5th, 2010 at 11:34 pm
Toys
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over
March 6th, 2010 at 6:16 pm
How about the über successful “Newsies”?
March 7th, 2010 at 9:40 am
The Room. – Awesomely bad movie that is so atrocious it circles around and becomes brilliant.
Spawn – A huge letdown of a movie considering how cool the character is.
Gooby – Haven’t seen this one, but from the trailer it looks like Calvin and Hobbes, except Hobbes has been replaced with pedobear. Very disturbing looking.
March 7th, 2010 at 11:33 pm
Two more suggestions:
Cabin Boy
Ghost Dad
March 8th, 2010 at 12:43 am
CRITTERS.
So ridiculously bad it’s kind of awesome. But mostly bad.
March 8th, 2010 at 7:19 am
Eric! In honor of Mo’nique winning an Oscar, you should do Phat Girlz.
March 8th, 2010 at 9:05 am
American Ninja.
There were sequels, which I never saw. But the first one is pretty bad, sure the sequels are worse, but I can’t say for sure.
March 8th, 2010 at 9:37 am
How about “RAD” the BMX bike movie that actually includes a scene at a school dance with dancing done on a BMX bike. Doesn’t get any better than that.
March 8th, 2010 at 12:47 pm
When I was about 10 I loved a movie called Powder, I just watched it the other day thanks to Netflix and discovered that I was retarded when I was 10. This movie was awful.
Basic idea of movie: A smarter-than-Einstein (despite being home schooled by grandma), albino guy who can control electricity has some problems with a few bullies at school.
I hope you review this one.
March 8th, 2010 at 2:17 pm
Iron Eagle (1986).
Its like Goonies + Top Gun on a very low budget.
March 8th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
I would like to 2nd the nomination for Nothing But Trouble. I’m horrified to find that it actually played in theaters. We never even got through it (rented it some time in the mid 90′s as teenagers).
I would like to nominate Only the Strong (1993). A terrible martial arts movie where every bad guy, from the street-level drones on up to the…head bad guy, inexplicably knows capoeira. Martial arts nerds will tell you this is a good movie; they are wrong. It has a solid 0% on RT (only 7 reviews, but still), and grossed a solid $3.7 million domestic.
Neither are very well known, but both are groin-stabbingly bad.
March 8th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Three words-
King Solomon’s Mines (1985)
March 9th, 2010 at 7:09 am
Swamp Thing.
Toxic Avenger.
Both of these movies turned into cartoons, so they are somewhat more famous than some movies mentioned here, and both are pretty bad. Swamp Thing even had a sequel and a tv series.
March 9th, 2010 at 10:45 am
Dante’s Peak! Or is that TOO obvious….?
March 10th, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Now that I hear they are thinking of making a Flash Gordon remake, you MUST do the original.
The worst movie I’ve ever seen in a theater, made even worse that if came out right around the time Star Wars came out, making he “special” effects look even specialer.
March 10th, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Yes! RAD is an excellent pick.
March 10th, 2010 at 5:55 pm
Island of Dr. Moreau – a really famous flop starring Val Kilmer and Marlon Brando. Brando is really pudgy, wears a muumuu and is escorted in a popemobile. The jokes would write themselves.
Caligula – Infamously bad movie. There is a 102 minute R-rated version floating out there. If you see it, watch that one. All the others are twice as long.
Highlander II – has Sean Connery in it, and makes absolutely no sense. This movie is the worst in the series.
Road House – A movie so bad it becomes good.
And one final shout out for The Room before i mention…..
The Star Wars Holiday Special – Eric, you really need to see this movie to appreciate how horrible it is. It has the entire cast from Star Wars, who look like they would rather be anywhere else but on set. Harrison Ford phones in his lines, and I am 95% certain that Carrie Fisher was coked up for all her scenes. All this before we even discuss that the movie is completely bat-crap insane.
March 10th, 2010 at 10:38 pm
“Miracle Mile” (1989) – I happened to catch it on TV late last night and was mesmerized by its badness. I’m sure that my post-9/11 perspective affects my ability to appreciate it (as the reviews from the time were mostly positive), but yikes. Just yikes.
I second the nomination of “Dune”. Oh, the horror of “Dune”!
March 10th, 2010 at 11:14 pm
I meant “post-Cold War” rather than “post-9/11″. Oops!
March 13th, 2010 at 7:40 am
Eric. I have to protest your no comedy rule. Nothing but Trouble is being left out. The only good thing about this movie is that it makes a perfect gag gift. People see who is in it and think it must be worth a viewing. Suckers….
March 17th, 2010 at 5:12 am
Highlander 2
Island of Dr. Moreau
Roadhouse
All terrible movies, and fairly famous too.
March 18th, 2010 at 9:16 pm
I’m glad to see several suggestions for Santa With Muscles and I agree with the comment that any Hogan movie would do (although I’m sure several were attempting to be comedies). We just had a garage sale and I caught my wife trying to sell my copy for 10 cents. Luckily no one had bought it yet and I was able to rescue it so it can be the best white elephant gift ever at some future work holiday party, if I can bear to part with it.
March 22nd, 2010 at 3:44 pm
“Blood and Chocolate”
It seems you haven’t actually reviewed this yet.
March 25th, 2010 at 5:38 pm
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
Darby O’Gill and the Little People
April 13th, 2010 at 3:39 am
‘Deafula’ (1975)
As a reviewer from The Agony Booth said:
“All you really need to know about this movie is that it’s called Deafula, it’s about a deaf vampire, it’s performed entirely in sign language, and yes, it really exists.”
May 11th, 2010 at 2:09 am
Hope you’re still checking this thread.
Have to agree on Maximum Overdrive (made some time in the 80s) and Fortress (1992). I’ve only ever had three favourite so-bad-they’re-good movies and these were the first two.
My current favourite is Double Dragon (1994) which someone already suggested. It stars several people you actually recognise: Alyssa Milano, Scott Wolf, and Robert Patrick (who I’m a big fan of), and has an IMDB rating of 3.something. It’s about two high-kicking brothers who have to evade a bad guy who wants their piece of a powerful medalion. And it’s based on a video game (when that was considered an advertisement, not a warning).
There’s also Striptease, but it’s quite similar to Showgirls.
Best line in Double Dragon:
Bad guy to henchman- “I think of you like a son, and like a son, I can always have another.”
August 9th, 2010 at 7:37 am
Lady Terminator, an indonesian version of Terminator, mixed with a local legend. I’ve been laughing all this movie. And here’s a quote from one of the policemen (after finding three guys whose manhood has been bitten sort of off) :
“The report says an eel. An eel? On dry land? I’ve heard of the ultimate blowjob, but… this is too much”.