NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“Cowboys & Aliens” (C+)
“Crazy Stupid Love” (B+) [Film.com]
“The Future” (B+)
“The Guard” (B)
“Point Blank” (A-)

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Cyborg” (1989), starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, but not as a cyborg. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” (1977), in which a pile of mashed potatoes means something. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “For Love of the Game” (1999), with Kevin Costner, baseball, and Vin Scully. [Film.com]

Pitch Meeting: “The Smurfs” [Film.com]

One Year Ago: a trip down memory lane for people whose memories only go back a year. This is maybe a new regular column, maybe. [Movies.com]

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MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “The Apple of My i” — America’s fastest-growing religion.

Reject Radio: I was a guest on this week’s edition of this fine movie podcast, facing off against the lovely Kate Erbland in a movie news quiz, and then discussing obsessive fandom. [Film School Rejects]

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: Reviews of “Cowboys & Aliens” and “Crazy Stupid Love,” plus a sexist game of Pitch Me, and talk of my beard. [Cascadia.fm] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

* * * * *

MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

Gordon and the Whale — a plucky movie website staffed by some talented and enthusiastic writers — is closing up shop, on account of there’s no money in running a movie website. That’s too bad. I’m somewhere in that photo montage at the end. [Gordon and the Whale]

Site-specific “404 Error” pages. [Slacktory]

This one New Yorker cartoon basically sums up the philosophy behind all comedy. [New Yorker/Yfrog]

Ron Swanson paper dolls. Ron Swanson probably would not approve. [Flannel Animal]

Some hilarious angry comments on Jeff Bayer’s “Cars 2″ review. Read the ones from “RICH” especially. [The Scorecard Review]

I didn’t grow up in Portland, so I don’t have any memories of this particular commercial. But I do have a fondness for crazy local ads in general. So here’s Kite Man. [Vimeo]

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“Captain America: The First Avenger” (B)
“Friends with Benefits” (B+) [Film.com]

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MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Butterfly” (1982), in which a sultry young Pia Zadora puts the moves on Stacy Keach, who is her father. It’s incestulicious! [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “Shaft” (1971), a film that demands to know whether you can dig it. Well, can you? [Film.com]

Re-Views: “House of 1000 Corpses” (2003), the directorial debut by auteur Rob Zombie, is reexamined. [Film.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “Drunk Thoughts” — How people think when they are tipsy

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: Reviews of “Captain America” and “Friends with Benefits,” and also “A Little Help,” which I didn’t see but I guess Jeff did, or at least he claims to have. [Cascadia.fm] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

* * * * *

MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

It’s impossible to read this “Captain America” review and NOT hear the voice of Comic Book Guy. [Examiner]

Do you want to see “Sesame Street” footage edited to look like a Beastie Boys music video? Yes. YES YOU DO. [Vimeo]

Some of Arizona’s hilarious xenophobes are mad that an Arabic word was used to describe local dust storms. [Arizona Republic] & [Arizona Republic]

My associate William B. Goosefeathers offers suggestions on how to “improve” the “Winnie the Pooh” movie. [Film.com]

Children’s drawings painted realistically. [Buzzfeed]

Speaking of terrifying things, here are some old photos of vaudeville ventriloquists and their dummies. [Public School]

Ten more mistakes in “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.” [Slacktory]

Ranking the 5 dumbest categories of people on the Internet. [Pajiba]

The ultimate Coach Taylor pep talk montage. [Vulture]

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2″ (B+)
“Winnie the Pooh” (A-) [Film.com]
“Tabloid” (B)

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Magic in the Water” (1995). A children’s movie about the Canadian equivalent of the Loch Ness Monster. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “North by Northwest” (1959). A Hitchcock movie about Mount Rushmore and train symbolism. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back” (2001). A Kevin Smith film about Kevin Smith’s failures as a director. [Film.com]

A long column about the length of movies. [Film.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “Positive Buzz” — Some people can do whatever they want.

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: Reviews of “Harry Potter,” “Winnie the Pooh,” “A Better Life,” and “Terri.” Plus Interquel, QOTW, and a special offer for Portland-area listeners to meet original “Star Trek” cast members. [Cascadia.fm] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

* * * * *

MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

Yasser Arafat continues to amuse us. [Hairpiece or Herpes]

A montage of Tami Taylor saying “y’all” on “Friday Night Lights.” [YouTube]

Let’s say watching movies in 3D gives you a headache, but you’re always being dragged to 3D screenings. These glasses allow you to watch a 3D movie in non-headachy 2D. I tried it with the new Harry Potter and was pleased with the results. [2D Glasses]

As an aficionado of Tom Lehrer — only the greatest musical satirist of the 20th century — I was sure I’d heard every one of his songs, even the obscure ones. I was mistaken. [YouTube]

Google Circles you’ll actually use. [Buzzfeed]

Hipster puppies are more adorable than hipster people. [Hipster Puppies]

Hello, amazing future world! Here’s a device that makes fully functional clones of actual three-dimensional tools and objects. [Snopes]

10 lines from the “Evil Dead” trilogy as rewritten by Diablo Cody. [Pajiba]

92-year-old Andy Rooney can’t figure out why he’s out of touch with popular music. [YouTube]

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“Horrible Bosses” (B+) [Film.com]
“Zookeeper” (D+)
“Terri” (C+)

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Furry Vengeance” (2010). One of the benefits of not reviewing something terrible when it comes out is that I can go back to it later for Bad Movies. In honor of “Zookeeper,” here it is. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “The Gold Rush” (1925). Charlie Chaplin’s classic. Maybe the quintessential Chaplin movie? [Film.com]

Re-Views: “Freddy Got Fingered” (2001). As a comedy nerd, I enjoyed analyzing what Tom Green was trying to do here. I didn’t enjoy the film, but at least I enjoyed nerding about it. [Film.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: None this week, because of the Independence Fourth of July Day holiday.

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: Reviews of “Horrible Bosses” and “Zookeeper,” listeners’ (and our own) horrible boss stories, an update on the box office game, and a solid round of Pitch Me. [Cascadia.fm] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

* * * * *

MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

Toto’s “Africa,” by Ernest Hemingway. [McSweeney's]

Something about this is creepy. An ad for “Zookeeper” was digitally inserted into a four-year-old rerun of “How I Met Your Mother.” [Consumerist]

“Crabwalkin’”: A five-second film starring Patton Oswalt. [Filmdrunk]

Peter Hall, who I know for a fact is a big ol’ nerd, doesn’t like “Lord of the Rings.” Here he explains himself. [Hollywood.com]

A visual comparison of “30 Rock” and “Arrested Development.” [No idea where it originated.]

What if the characters from “Toy Story” starred in “The Shining”? [Kyle Lambert]

I laughed aloud at several of these: “Yo mama” jokes in the Harry Potter universe. [No idea.]

Speaking of which, here’s a parody of a “Hairspray” song, “Good Morning Voldemort.” [YouTube]

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“Transformers: Dark of the Moon” (C)
“Larry Crowne” (D+)
“Monte Carlo” (B-) [Film.com]

* * * * *

MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: Has the week off, for freedom and America.

What’s the Big Deal?: “Mean Streets” (1973). This is where Martin Scorsese was invented. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “Gladiator” (2000). I gave it an A, but never watched it a second time, even though I’ve owned the DVD for a decade. [Film.com]

“Larry Crowne” vs. “Monte Carlo”: How to tell if you’re the target audience. [Film.com]

* * * * *

MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “Choosing Your Candid Hate” — The types of people we won’t vote for.

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: Jeff and I discuss “Transformers,” “Larry Crowne,” and “Monte Carlo”; Jeff talks about the New York Times documentary “Page One”; we talk about toys that should be made into movies; &c. [Cascadia.fm] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

* * * * *

MISCELLANEOUS MERRIMENT:

David Ehrlich has soft, fluffy hair. Also, he wrote this article about connections between Criterion classic movies and superhero films. [Movies.com]

I love it when legends turn out to be true! Play-Doh was invented as a wallpaper cleaner. [Snopes]

Here’s a Cirque du Soleil performer briefly enlivening a Padres baseball game with his blend of acrobatics, whimsy, and satanic power. [Yahoo]

Visual evidence of why the new Batman movie might be terrible. [I Love Charts]

One of my all-time favorites: Jeff Goldblum iMac ad, slowed down to half speed so he sounds totally drunk. There was a time when nearly every conversation between Scott Weinberg and myself included the words “Whaddayoo think thgreatest giff t’ the holidays izz?” [YouTube]

Then there was the time Buzz Aldrin got so fed up with an obnoxious moon-landing denier that he punched him right in his stupid face. You have to watch the whole thing to fully appreciate how much restraint he showed in not punching him sooner. [YouTube]