2011 film titles: a dramatic reading
And now, a playlet in which the dialogue is composed entirely of 2011 movie titles.
[Outside a bar at closing time. People are waiting in line for taxis. A MAN sidles up to a WOMAN.]
MAN: What’s your number?
WOMAN: I am number four.
[They shake hands.]
MAN: [gesturing to his car] Monte Carlo. Real steel!
WOMAN: [unimpressed] Something borrowed?
[Despite the WOMAN's lack of interest, the MAN plunges ahead.]
MAN: Cold weather! [pause] Everything must go… [he gestures to his car again]
MAN: No strings attached!
WOMAN: One day. The future. Another earth.
MAN: Don’t be afraid of the dark!
WOMAN: [considering] The dilemma: Contagion? Unknown.
MAN: Just go with it!
[She considers his offer. She does find him attractive, and it is getting late...]
MAN: 30 minutes or less.
[She still isn't sold.]
MAN: Fast five.
WOMAN: [sighing reluctantly] Take me home tonight.
MAN: Win win!
WOMAN: [to herself] The art of getting by…
[He opens the passenger door for her.]
MAN: Your highness.
[They get in.]
MAN: In time. [seeing pedestrians in the crosswalk] Madea’s big happy family!
WOMAN: Drive angry! Like crazy!
MAN: A dangerous method!
[She puts her hand on his thigh.]
MAN: [shrugging] Crazy, stupid love…
[He runs over the pedestrians. The WOMAN is impressed.]
WOMAN: Courageous! Footloose! Limitless!
MAN: [regretful] Beastly. Shame.
WOMAN: [seeing an acquaintance on the sidewalk] Martha Marcy May Marlene!
MAN: The girl with the dragon tattoo? Young adult? Zookeeper? I don’t know how she does it!
WOMAN: We bought a zoo.
[They arrive at her home, a charming two-story.]
MAN: Dream house! [he sees a silhouette in the window] The help?
WOMAN: We need to talk about Kevin.
MAN: The roommate?
WOMAN: Friends with benefits.
MAN: Sucker punch.
[Suddenly a bright light fills the sky. Loud ALIEN VOICES boom in the night air.]
ALIEN VOICE 1: Attack the block!
ALIEN VOICE 2: Mars needs moms!
MAN: Take shelter!
WOMAN: I am!
[They run inside the house.]
WOMAN: I saw the devil! Extremely loud and incredibly close!
MAN: Insidious immortals!
[The ALIENS attack and kill everybody. The end.]