My ‘best’ film-related pieces from 2011
Here is a pile of links to some of my one-off movie columns from this year that you might find “funny” or “interesting” or “not very long.” Except as noted, all of these were for Film.com, where my editor, Laremy, is nearly always responsible for coming up with the great topic.
Jan. 10: Predicting the Marketing Slogans of 2011.
Feb. 9: Logical Problems Presented by “Just Go with It.”
March 2: The 10 Commandments for Getting a Film into Sundance.
April 17: Why the “Don’t Think About It!” Argument Is Dumb.
June 22: Unsettling Questions Raised by the Alternate Reality in “Cars.”
July 13: A Long Column About the Length of Movies.
July 27: The Pitch Meeting for “The Smurfs.”
Aug. 30: A Fake Report from Our Fake Set Visit.
Sept. 7: The Pitch Meeting for “I Don’t Know How She Does It.”
Oct. 7: A Proper Gentleman from 19th Century England Reacts to Seeing “Human Centipede 2.” [Movies.com]
Oct. 10: Things Nicolas Cage Could Do That Would Theoretically Still Shock Us.
Oct. 18: The Timeline for Winning Best Picture.
Nov. 1: The Pitch Meeting for “New Year’s Eve.”
Nov. 9: Logical Problems with a Horse That Goes to War.
Dec. 20: The Next 35 “Alvin and the Chipmunks” Sequel Titles.
December 31st, 2011 at 3:06 pm
Glad to see the Dec. 20 one, Film.com STILL insists that you haven’t posted anything for December.
December 31st, 2011 at 3:13 pm
Yeah, the author pages are borked at the moment. I’m told the technicians are working on it. The important thing is that regardless of whether the articles show up in the database, I got paid for writing them.
December 31st, 2011 at 5:44 pm
Didn’t you do some kind of rejected screenplay for twilight?
January 1st, 2012 at 2:02 pm
Thanks for doing these summaries, as I usually miss these articles the first time around.
I think the “pitch meeting” pieces you do are some of your most subtle and perceptive criticisms of the industry. The Sundance bit also made me laugh quite a bit, and I always enjoy your more serioues analysis when it isn’t constrained to 140 characters.
January 1st, 2012 at 2:02 pm
Strike that, “serious” analysis.