NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“We Need to Talk About Kevin” (A-)
“Joyful Noise” (C-) [Film.com]

“Contraband,” which has to do with Marky Mark taping drugs to his chest and sneaking them somewhere, or something like that, was screened at the same time as “Joyful Noise.” I chose the one that was closer to my house.

Also, Disney’s “Beauty and the Beast” is being re-released in 3D. I assume it’s as good as it was before, only now in 3D.

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MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Lisa” (1990), a Lifetime Movie Network sort of flick about the dangers of men. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “La Strada” (1954), the one that put Fellini on the map. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “All the Real Girls” (2003), an introspective drama from the man who would later direct “Pineapple Express” and “Your Highness.” [Film.com]

One Year Ago: Catching up with “Green Hornet,” “The Dilemma,” and more. [Movies.com]

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MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “A Grimm View of Politics” — Fairy tales for our partisan times.

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: We talk about “Joyful Noise,” Jeff’s adventures at the Critics’ Choice Movie Awards, and more. [MovieBS] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider

Since “We Need to Talk About Kevin” is a very serious and harrowing movie, I thought it would be funny if it had a jaunty, shufflin’, New Orleans-y theme song by Randy Newman.

This is what I came up with. Being a huge fan of Randy Newman, his older stuff even more than his movie songs, came in handy. The music and structure are basically a combination of “I Love to See You Smile” (from “Parenthood”) and “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” (from “Toy Story”), though I guess part of the joke is that they also resemble many of Newman’s other movie songs.

Please note that the song has SPOILERS for “We Need to Talk About Kevin.” I don’t think it’s anything that would totally ruin the movie for you — the Very Bad Thing that Kevin did is alluded to pretty early in the film — but there’s your warning nonetheless. (The movie will be released in more theaters later this month.)

(Note: I should mention that the “Randy Newman sings inappropriately merry song for serious movie” idea is not original to me. The comedy duo of Paul & Storm did one for “The Passion of the Christ” several years ago. I don’t think I actually heard the song at the time, but I did hear about it and can definitely trace the concept back to them. And of course the idea of “catchy tune for un-catchy movie” goes at least as far back as Tom Lehrer’s proposed theme song for the movie version of “Oedipus Rex,” a song that I think about at least once a week.)

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“The Iron Lady” (B-)
“The Devil Inside” (F) [Film.com]
“Pariah” (B)
“Angels Crest” (B)
“Roadie” (C+)

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MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Double Dragon” (1994), which was the second video game movie ever made and helped established the pattern of video game movies being terrible. [Film.com]

What’s the Big Deal?: “The Public Enemy” (1931), starring James Cagney as the kind of character James Cagney became famous for. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “White Chicks” (2004), a Wayans Brothers movie that has not really improved with age. [Film.com]

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MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “Seething Stars” — Let’s make fun of gossip magazines!

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: We covered several limited-release films this week, including “The Artist,” “My Week with Marilyn,” and “Carnage,” plus “The Devil Inside.” [MovieBS] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider

Here’s everything you might have missed in the second half of December, along with all my end-of-the-year stuff.

END-OF-THE-YEAR STUFF:

The Best and Worst Movies of 2011. Plus miscellaneous data.
Eric’s Media Inventory. What I watched and read in 2011.
All the wide releases of 2011. There were 141 of them. How many did you see? (Note: question is rhetorical.)
2011 film titles: a dramatic reading. On a whim, I composed this playlet in which the dialogue is composed entirely of 2011 movie titles.
My best film-related articles from 2011. These are the Film.com articles that I liked the most.

NEW MOVIE REVIEWS:

“War Horse” (C)
“We Bought a Zoo” (C+)
“The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (C+)
“The Adventures of Tintin” (B-)

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MOVIE COLUMNS:

Eric’s Bad Movies: “Standing Ovation” (2010). The most astounding thing about this train wreck is that it actually played in 600 theaters in the summer of 2010. This is why we need to have regulations. [Film.com]

Re-Views: “The Passion of the Christ” (2004). Not nearly as funny as I remembered it. [Film.com]

The Next 35 “Alvin and the Chipmunks” Movie Sequel Titles. I love it when Laremy the editor gives me silly topics like this. [Film.com]

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MY OTHER STUFF:

Snide Remarks: “Joseph’s Blog: The Carin’ Carpenter” — An anecdote about poor hospitality

Movie B.S. with Bayer and Snider: The Dec. 23 show had reviews of “We Bought a Zoo,” “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” “The Adventures of Tintin,” and “War Horse,” and the Dec. 30 episode is our 2011 top 10 lists and such. [MovieBS] or [iTunes]

In the Dark: Subscribe to this weekly e-mail and get all the latest movie reviews, DVD releases, and other pertinent info delivered to your electronic mailbox. [Eric D. Snider's In the Dark]

Twitter: @EricDSnider