If you live in Utah, you might be aware that KJZZ-TV shows the lousy Mormon comedy “The Singles Ward” now and then. But this Thanksgiving, the broadcast will be different. This time, the movie will be funny!

That’s because Daryn Tufts, Randy Tayler, and Trenton James will be providing snarky commentary on it, in the manner of “Mystery Science Theater 3000.” They’re calling it “Talkies.” It will be like watching a bad movie with three of your funniest friends. Or three of my funniest friends, anyway.

But the reason I’m telling you about it isn’t just that the guys are friends of mine, but that some of the snide remarks© they’ll be making were written by me, Eric D. Snider. Yes, though the performance is carefully crafted to look like they’re ad-libbing their responses to the movie, they are in fact scripted. (Such was the case with “Mystery Science Theater,” too.) Daryn asked if I wanted to write some jokes, and I was glad to do it, though it did mean having to watch “The Singles Ward” again.

(Added dimension that the “MST” gang never had to deal with: Daryn is actually in “The Singles Ward.” He’ll be mocking his own performance.)

So if you find yourself in Utah on Thanksgiving, turn your TV dial to KJZZ at 3 p.m. to record this one-time-only broadcast of “Talkies” featuring “The Singles Ward.” If the audience response is favorable, Daryn and the gang may have a chance to give other films in KJZZ’s library the “Talkies” treatment.

After the jump are some YouTube clips of the show. Daryn warns that the picture and sound are rough in these clips, but they’ll be smooth and delightful in the actual broadcast.

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I’m guessing the average person doesn’t have Variety and The Hollywood Reporter on their newsfeed, and probably isn’t interested in the minor details of the Writers Guild of America strike anyway. So here’s a brief recap on the latest, and how it affects YOU, John and Jane Q. Public-Citizen. (You hyphenated when you got married.)

• First, don’t hold your breath for a quick resolution. The opposing sides — the WGA (the good guys) and the Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers (the greedy fat cats) — became so polarized and incensed during the pre-strike negotiations that now everybody just hates each other. The AMPTP says it has no interest in resuming talks as long as the WGA members are picketing; the WGA isn’t going to end the strike until talks are resumed. Sigh.

• Variety says that “without reviving the WGA talks, the scribes’ work stoppage could easily bleed into the middle of next year” (!!!!!!!!!!) (emphasis mine).

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You may have heard snippets of news items about an impending Hollywood writers strike and didn’t let the magnitude of the situation sink in. Perhaps you were in denial. But I’m here to tell you that it is real, and that it will probably be disastrous.

How does seven nights a week of nothing but “American Idol” and “Dateline NBC” sound?!!

Here’s the lowdown on how the writers strike affects you, John and Jane Q. Public, in handy question-and-answer format.

Q: Who’s striking, and why?
A: It’s the Writers Guild of America (WGA) striking against the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP). The WGA’s contract ended Nov. 1, and they were trying to negotiate some changes for the new contract. The AMPTP wouldn’t budge, the contract expired, and so a strike officially begins today.

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I got this e-mail today:

Well eric the George Lopez was funny my family really enjoyed it. The caveman show is a total waste of film nothing funny about,they should had left it just has a commerical. Let me quess your white thats why you are so lame white people just dont get it. Maybe you should join the caveman cast your just as stupid has the show!!!!!!!!

First, let’s pause a moment to bask in the sweet, aromatic irony of someone who writes like this calling anyone else “stupid.” Mmmmm…. refreshing.

Now, then. I assume “the George Lopez” means “The George Lopez Show,” and the strange part is that the only time I have ever mentioned that show on this website was in passing in a blog entry three years ago. Why get so worked up about it now?

As for “Cavemen,” I talked about that more recently — long enough to say it wasn’t very good. Which means I agreed with this person. So why is he or she yelling at me?!

Finally, while I am white, and while I agree that white people are lame, I don’t know that being white is why I’m lame. I have other qualities that contribute to my lameness. Let’s not limit it to just skin color.

Someone posted a comment on my review of TV’s “Aliens in America” that I suppressed because it’s jaw-droppingly bigoted and I didn’t want it posted without being able to respond to it. I guess I could have just deleted it and been done with it, but you know how I like to scrutinize nutcases.

The TV show, you’ll recall, is a sitcom in which a Muslim Pakistani boy comes to live with a nerdy American high school kid and his family. The pilot episode was hilarious, episode 2 was somewhat disappointing, and episode 3 was back on track. It was episode 3, called “Rocket Club,” that prompted someone to post this:

first we never had to worry about presenting muslims on t.v. until after 911. who give a hoot. now that they are climbing out of the proverbial closets, it is time for american to wake up. while not all muslims are terrorists, all terrorist are muslims. (don’t go there about tim mcveigh). tonight’s episode on the rocket fiasco and the cops taking the computer, then the families computer, and the commentator saying something about our “rights” being taken away, then to the effect of all the “wrongs in america”…why do you think these liberal hollywood writers i.e. backed by the left wing democratic agenda, try to make the U.S. bad and the muslims good? pull your head out the ground while you are watching “pushing daisies” and start paying attention to what the real agenda is. watching people kiss people through body bags is “imagination”? this show the true genius of the American public. if you don’t get it by now, read Laura Ingraham’s book. or do you do that anymore. learn something for the country’s sake!

First, let’s talk about what happened in this episode. The boy, Raja, buys a bunch of supplies at the hardware store to build a model rocket. But to the skittish store manager, he looks like a possible terrorist buying bomb-making materials. The cops come to talk to Raja and his host family and demand access to Raja’s computer so they can see what websites he’s been going to.

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“Life Is Wild” (Sundays, The CW): Here’s a nice little family drama about a Brady Bunch-style clan (each parent brought a son and daughter into the arrangement) that moves to South Africa for a year to live at their grandpa’s old run-down resort and reconnect as a family. People are saying it’s “7th Heaven” in Africa, and while I’ve never seen “7th Heaven,” enough people have made the comparison for me to accept its validity. I didn’t expect to enjoy the pilot episode, and while it was a little hokey in places, I wound up watching the whole thing and liking some of the characters. I was also impressed by all the wild animals they interacted with, including lions, giraffes, and elephants. Me likey animals. They set up some side stories about the country’s apartheid history that could be developed into something interesting, too. TiVo verdict: I’m not really in the market for a nice little family drama, but if you are, you might check this one out.

“Moonlight” (Fridays, CBS): A vampire who works as a private detective? We’ve seen that before in “Angel,” and probably in a lot of novels that people who love “Angel” have read. “Moonlight” doesn’t do anything new with that nifty premise, and if the pilot episode is any indication, it’s a pretty generic show anyway, with laughably bad dialogue and obvious story twists. Also, it’s on at the same time as “Friday Night Lights,” which is just about the best drama on TV, so there’s really no reason to watch the vampire-detective show. TiVo verdict: Bite me.

Here they are, folks: the best new hour-long series and half-hour series of the season!

“Pushing Daisies” (Wednesday, ABC): The pilot is one of the most colorful, cinematic, magical TV episodes I’ve ever seen. It’s like a Roald Dahl story come to life, full of dark humor and whimsical fantasy. It’s about a man named Ned (Lee Pace) who has the peculiar gift of being able to bring dead things back to life by touching them. Two caveats, however: If he ever touches the thing again, it will re-die, this time for good. And if the newly resurrected organism remains alive for more than a minute, something else nearby will die to take its place. Ned gets involved with a private detective, reviving murder victims, finding out who killed them, touching them again within 60 seconds to send them back to death, then “solving” the mysteries and collecting the reward money. In the pilot, the victim is his childhood sweetheart, Charlotte “Chuck” Charles (Anna Friel) … and he can’t bear to let her die again. (He lets the evil funeral director take the fall instead after 60 seconds go by.) Now she’s in his life, but he can’t ever touch her.

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“Cavemen” (Tuesdays, ABC): This laugh-track-free sitcom about a race of cavemen who live in modern society isn’t the televisiopacolypse we thought it would be … but it’s not particularly good, either. The pilot episode was screened earlier this year and immediately excoriated by everyone who saw it as stupid, unfunny, and racist: Apparently, every time they said something about “cavemen,” you could just replace it with “black guys.” So ABC sent the show back for “retooling” and came up with this largely inoffensive version. The premise is that cavemen are just another race of people living among us … a race that, yep, still kind of resembles stereotypes about black people. Some homo sapiens women have a “thing” for cavemen, who are wilder, better lovers; the cavemen’s Texas-accented landlady thinks they all look alike; some cavemen are opposed to intermarrying with homo sapiens; etc. I got a few chuckles out of it, which is a few more than I was anticipating. But still. TiVo verdict: I’m even a Geico customer and I’m not gonna watch this.

“Carpoolers” (Tuesdays, ABC): Now HERE’S your awful sitcom! It’s about four guys who carpool to and from work every day. They kind of socialize outside those 90 minutes a day, too, and we’re privy to their unoriginal domestic travails, which do not appear to be very funny, if the pilot is any indication. And what’s with the names? The four guys are called Laird, Dougie, Gracen, and Aubrey, and one has a son named Marmaduke. What? TiVo verdict: Begone, evil one!

“Life” (Wednesdays, NBC): What a terrible, unimaginative title for such a fine show! It’s about a police detective who has just been released from prison after serving 12 years of a life sentence before new evidence proved he was innocent after all. A huge cash settlement has made him rich, but he’s returned to the police force anyway, partly to solve the crime he was framed for. What’s fun is that while in prison he adopted a Zen philosophy, and now he’s unflappable and a little kooky. Yeah, yeah, another show about a quirky main character who befuddles everyone around him. But Damian Lewis, the British actor who plays him (with a perfect American accent), is instantly mesmerizing. I got a kick out of that first episode — and since NBC has saddled it with a lousy title, a competitive time slot, and not much promotion, it needs viewers NOW. Watch it! TiVo verdict: ‘Life’ is sweet.

“Dirty Sexy Money” (Wednesdays, ABC): Now here’s a good title! Peter Krause (“Six Feet Under”) stars as a do-gooder lawyer who has inherited his recently deceased father’s clients: the Darlings, the wealthiest family in New York and a group of Grade-A screw-ups. It’s an hour-long comedy-drama, as has been so trendy on ABC the last couple years, and Krause is so watchable that it made me miss “Six Feet Under” all over again. There’s a good variety of Darling family members, including a spoiled debutante, a delusional playboy, a bitter priest, and a would-be senator who’s dating a transvestite, and Donald Sutherland gives it some solid footing as the down-to-earth patriarch of the clan. I was skeptical at first but was won over by the end of the episode. (Added fun: Krause’s father, the family’s previous lawyer, may have died under suspicious circumstances!) The premise will get old fast if every episode is nothing more than “look what hilarious scrapes the Darlings have gotten themselves into now!,” so hopefully they’ll do more with it. TiVo verdict: We’ll give it a few episodes to see if it holds my interest.

This clip of Paris Hilton appearing on Letterman the other night is a reminder of something I occasionally forget: David Letterman is a national treasure. He may have gone a little soft in recent years, but this merciless — and funny — skewering of Paris’ vapid, self-absorbed stupidity is a classic. It’s like an interview he would have done in the old days.

I especially love the part where she pretends to be sad and hurt and Dave doesn’t fall for it. Priceless.