A Narrow (Baseball) Field of Vision
"A Narrow (Baseball) Field of Vision"
by Eric D. Snider
Published in The Californian on August 31, 1993
Lake Elsinore residents are no doubt just giddy with excitement over the fact that a minor league baseball stadium is currently being built behind the Albertson's shopping center, near the lake. Unfortunately, I strongly suspect that the next time it rains very hard, it is going to be behind the Albertson's shopping center, in the lake.
I have too much faith in humanity to think that the city planners didn't have the thought occur to them that maybe, just maybe, if the lake has flooded three times in the past 20 years, it could possibly do it again. So I'm assuming that they have some brilliant plan in mind to prevent the lake from flooding out the baseball stadium, although I must admit that it would be interesting to see a game get called on account of all the players having drowned.
I'm also assuming that whatever they've thought of, it's better than that cockamamie levee they built a few years ago, which was supposed to prevent flooding and which is currently in the middle of the lake, preventing nothing, except for the possibility that someone might have faith in City Hall (which is unlikely to begin with). It evidently never occurred to the people who built the levee that if the water got high enough, it might actually spill over the top. They apparently thought the water would stay where it belonged, out of common courtesy, or martial law, or whatever.
This kind of short-sightedness reminds me of Lucas Harp. Lucas Harp was a student at Robert E. Lee High School in (where else?) Houston. He and several of his classmates were on a week-long trip to New York City at the same time that my friend Andrae and several of his classmates, from Elsinore High School, were also in New York. The student travel company combined the two groups and had them share a row of hotel rooms, and Andrae wound up sharing a room with Lucas Harp.
One day on the trip, Lucas Harp put on a T-shirt bearing a replica of the Confederate flag. This is already funny enough, insofar as it reinforces negative stereotypes of people from Texas, and also because it involves a person named Lucas Harp, but it gets even funnier, because Andrae happens to be black, and the Confederate flag does not exactly make a black person want to stand up and salute. So the situation is now funnier, because some possible contention and conflict has been introduced. Heck, we've almost got ourselves a good plot for a short story, or maybe even a wacky sit-com on the Fox semi-network. ("One's a racist, the other is black, and they share a hotel room!") But wait, there's more comedy, because not only is Andrae black, but he is also quite capable of beating up anyone reading this column, nothing personal, and it goes without saying that he could just wipe the walls with someone from Robert E. Lee High School in Houston who is named Lucas Harp.
Unfortunately, there was no blood shed, which makes me wonder why I even brought it up. Then I remember that it's because Lucas Harp showed extreme short-sightedness when he put on that T-shirt. I certainly hope that the people responsible for building the baseball stadium are not suffering from the same affliction, because if they are, I will not hesitate to have Andrae beat them up.
(Eric D. Snider is a college student living at home in Lake Elsinore for the summer. He has been to New York, and he even stayed in the same hotel that Lucas Harp did.)
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