Eric D. Snider

Don't Know Why

The Garrens Comedy Troupe:

"Don't Know Why"

by Eric D. Snider (parody of "Don't Know Why," written by Jesse Harris

Originally performed by The Garrens Comedy Troupe on December 31, 1969

I'm much too fat to wear a thong,
Don't know why I put it on
It's stretched tighter than a drum,
Don't know how I put it on,
I don't know how I put it on.

All my friends told me to try
To lose weight before July.
But I failed, but couldn't admit
That this thong just doesn't fit.

I wish the store could take it back
But it's slipping through the cracks,
It's gone forever.

'Cause of this thong from Brazil
I'm making everybody ill.
I'm embarrassed in the sun.
Don't know why I wore a thong,
I don't know why I put it on,
I don't how I put it on.

Stumble It!


I love Norah Jones' song "Don't Know Why," and I sought an excuse to play it on the piano. My first parody idea changed the original line "don't know why I didn't come" to "don't know why I brought my gun," just so I could change the bridge line from "my heart is drenched in wine" to "my shirt is drenched in blood." But I couldn't think of anyplace funny to go with all that, so I abandoned the idea altogether. I don't recall how I came upon the thong idea, but I liked the notion of doing a response to a parody I'd already written a year earlier. This song must be sung either too high for my range, or too low, unless I transposed it to another key, which I didn't care to do. I chose to sing it too low, as that sounded jazzier.

Subscription Center

Eric D. Snider's "Snide Remarks"

This is to join the mailing list for Eric's weekly humor column, "Snide Remarks." For more information, go here.


Eric D. Snider's "In the Dark"

This is to join the mailing list for Eric's weekly movie-review e-zine. For more information on it, go here.

Visit Jeff J. Snider's website | Diamond Clarity Chart