CAST:
SINGER/PIANIST: Eric D. Snider
DRUMMER: Randy Tayler
BACK-UP SINGERS: the rest of the cast
The frustration of this moment is so clear
As the stoplight's been red forever, and you think it's strange.
If you're getting worried 'cause you're running late, don't fear.
Just hold on, hold on; the light will change.
Everyone who's ever driven a car
Has had to wait until they've felt deranged.
Don't run the red light -- that would be going too far.
Just hold on, hold on; the light will change.
While you've waited, you've heard twelve songs on the radio.
It's the longest red light you have ever seen.
And when it seems you've waited far too long,
Just hold on, hold on; it will turn green.
Hold on; hold on; the light will change.
(Hold on) If you feel trapped and fear this time will never pass.
(Hold on) If you've forgotten how it feels to push the gas.
(Hold on) If you're half-crazy, fearing you're the only one
Who has ever been stuck at an intersection.
Just hold on. Hold on. The light will change.
The frustration of this moment is so clear
As the stoplight's been red forever, and you think it's strange.
If you're getting worried 'cause you're running late, don't fear.
Just hold on, hold on; the light will change.
Copyright © Eric D. Snider.
This work may not be transmitted via the Internet, nor reproduced in any other way, without written consent from Eric D. Snider.
Comments & Reaction:
This parody was a thousand times funnier in performance than it is on paper. Someone would introduce me as "one of the biggest names in Mormon pop music today -- Michael McLean," and I would come bounding out dressed like him. (For those who don't know, Michael McLean is a songwriter who has brought the Mormon pop world such delights as "Together Forever," "You're not Alone" and "Hold on, the Light Will Come.") Then I would sing this song, accompanying myself on the piano, and play it up as a highly inspirational, moving song.
After a few verses, the rest of the Garrens would come onstage, holding hands, and sing "hold on" in the background. Some of them would wind up in tears, they were so "moved." Randy hit a snare drum exactly three times -- the only percussion in the whole song, just like in Michael McLean's version. It was all very funny, unless you didn't know the song it was a parody of, in which case it was probably just stupid.
This song bears the distinction of being the last thing I ever performed in a Garrens show as a regular cast member. On Sept. 19, my last show, this little ditty was the closing number. (I later performed in a few other shows as a guest performer, and in September 1999 was hired back as a director and writer.)
In January 1998, we had the supreme pleasure of performing this song at a Michael McLean concert, right in front of him. The experience is described in this "Snide Remarks" column.
In 1999, this began to be a popular song for me. I was asked to perform it at a number of functions, including a singer/songwriter showcase in Salt Lake City for various LDS musicians. The mp3 version was allowed to remain on the mp3.com Web site, despite their policy of not allowing parodies. I'm guessing they just didn't realize it was a parody, and I was careful not to say otherwise.