New in Town
Movie Review
New in Town
by Eric D. Snider
Grade: F
Released: January 30, 2009
Directed by:
Cast:
Look, movie, if you're not even going to TRY to entertain me, why should I put forth any effort in reviewing you?
Yeah, I'm talking to you, "New in Town." You have Renee Zellweger as a brittle, icy corporate honcho named Lucy who goes to a tiny Minnesota town to 1) look down her nose at the provincial townsfolk and 2) downsize the factory that keeps the town alive. In the grand tradition of awful romantic comedies everywhere, Lucy clashes with a crass local named Ted (Harry Connick Jr.), only to discover he's the union rep she'll have to work with on a regular basis!!!!!! Do you think they'll eventually fall in love???
In the meantime, Lucy makes no attempt whatsoever to fit in with the locals, who are portrayed as well-meaning but bumbling Jesus freaks with quaint hobbies and exaggerated Minnesota accents. These include Lucy's secretary, Blanche Gunderson (Siobhan Fallon Hogan), who is obsessed with her secret tapioca recipe; and Stu Kopenhafer (J.K. Simmons), the plant foreman who loves to hunt. Later, movie, you chastise Lucy -- and, by extension, us -- for not taking these people seriously, even though YOU'RE the one who set them up as objects of ridicule.
For her part, Lucy -- and you get a lot of mileage out of this, movie -- seems to be unfamiliar with even the IDEA of cold weather. She is surprised to find, when she gets off the plane, that a short skirt is inappropriate garb for Minnesota in October. She cannot fathom wearing any shoes other than high heels wherever she goes. When introduced to her new house, she insists she doesn't need help with the fireplace. "I'm a city girl, but I know how to light a fire. Where's the switch?" Get it?? She thinks fireplaces are always lit with a switch on the wall! She thinks this because apparently she's FUNCTIONALLY RETARDED.
Frankly, movie, I'm shocked that you thought you were ready for public viewing. Your screenplay, written by first-timer Ken Rance and "Sweet Home Alabama" scribe C. Jay Cox, does not have a legitimate laugh anywhere in its dialogue. It reads like an outline, not a real script, with only perfunctory attention paid to the major plot points. Most critically, Lucy comes to love the little town (we've seen the countless other films exactly like this one, so we know where it's going), yet you skip all the scenes that would have shown us WHY she loves it. You checked off all the clichés, yet you failed to fill in the details.
Moreover, movie, you have a screwed-up sense of time. One scene mentions it being the first Friday of November; the next scene has Lucy trying to get back to Miami for Thanksgiving -- and yet nothing has happened to the characters during those three weeks in between. After her flight is canceled due to weather, Lucy gets stuck in the snow, necessitating a rescue by Ted. Then, just after New Year's, Lucy tells him, "I never had a chance to clear the air after you rescued me" -- even though that was Thanksgiving, six weeks ago, and they must have seen each other multiple times since then, considering they work together.
I understand that romantic comedies and fish-out-of-water comedies and save-the-small-town comedies follow certain formulas. Did you not think, however, that perhaps you should put a little oomph into it? Jazz up the dialogue, maybe? Create one or two genuinely interesting characters? You have done nothing. You have exerted yourself so little that I'm not sure your cast and crew even deserve to be paid. You're the kind of movie someone would make if they put off their weekend movie-making homework until Sunday night.
Your director is a Danish fellow named Jonas Elmer, whose 2005 comedy, "Nynne," has been dubbed the Danish "Bridget Jones's Diary." I don't know what to say about that, except that I would probably laugh more at an un-subtitled version of a foreign-language comedy than I did at you, "New in Town." You're a shallow, dim-witted movie, and I wash my hands of you.
Grade: F
Rated PG, a little profanity, some sexual innuendo
1 hr., 36 min.
Copyright © Eric D. Snider.
This work may not be transmitted via the Internet, nor reproduced in any other way, without written consent from Eric D. Snider.
This item has 27 comments
January 29, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Sometimes I think it'd be a cool gig to work as a movie reviewer. Then I remember that the job requires that you watch movies like this one, and it doesn't seem anywhere near that appealing anymore. I do enjoy reading your F reviews though.
January 30, 2009 at 8:03 am
Is this the first F of 2009? I loved it!
January 30, 2009 at 8:55 am
Any desire I had to see this movie fled when I heard the Minnesota accents in the previews. There's no way I could sit through two hours of that, no matter how good the movie might have been. Glad to hear I won't be missing anything!
January 30, 2009 at 10:38 am
That's a great review!
January 30, 2009 at 11:36 am
It's great to have my impressions of the preview of this movie confirmed by your review. It looked like a cliche plot line.
However, I will disagree with you about where Renee Zellweger belongs. Participating in bad films is an exception for her. She has done several romantic movies besides Bridget Jones that were really wonderful and unique, including "The Whole Wide World" with Vincent Dinofrio and "Miss Potter" with Ewan McGregor.
You don't have a review up for either of these movies, so you may not have seen them, which would make sense, because you seem to dislike Renee with a vengeance.
January 30, 2009 at 11:41 am
Miss Potter review
January 30, 2009 at 11:45 am
Hooray for the first bad movie of 2009! May many more follow! I love bad reviews on movies that I'd never want to watch, they are better to read than so-so ones.
January 30, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Perhaps the film could be salvaged by carefully splicing it with Fargo. Nothing improves a romantic comedy like a woodchipper.
January 30, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I like Eric's reviews because they're funny. He criticizes things and he's right on the money. I think he's funny almost all the time but nothing is better than the way I rhyme.
Word.
Love from Philly. Even though you hate Philly.
January 30, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Ah, January at the movies.
January 30, 2009 at 8:44 pm
It's been far too long since we had an F review--I've missed them. oh sure, the C- and D reviews make me chuckle, but there's just something about a solid F that makes me feel joy deep down in my heart.
Also, Hazelnutmegan: I read the review twice, and while Eric had an awful lot of bad things to say about the writing and Renee Zellweger's character, but I didn't see any part that trashed Renee Zelweger herself and showed such deep hatred for her--all he said about her, really, is that she stars in the movie. Did I miss something, or what?
January 30, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Never mind, I just read the Friday Movie Roundup...I stand corrected.
January 31, 2009 at 12:53 am
Okay, I didn't really think it was that bad. It didn't deserve an A, but it at least deserved a C-! Is it also weird that I think that Harry Connick Jr is becoming a better actor than a singer? I've absolutely loved the last couple of roles he's done (just the role, not always the movie!), & thought he was great. Yeah there were parts where the movie didn't make sense & the whole thing was pretty much a script right out of Scriptwriting 101, but it still wasn't too bad of a way to spend an afternoon.
January 31, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Hey movie............me and you- Three O'Clock on the playground, don't be late!
January 31, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Hey, when did you become a Rotten Tomatoes Top Critic?! I usually just read the top critics and then your website--for all my movie watching decisions.
You seem to generally hate romantic comedies but even from the previews, the F grade isn't a surprise.
January 31, 2009 at 11:45 pm
I love it when Eric addresses the movie. It's like the movie is up on the screen trying to entertain him, and he yells out, "NEXT!"
February 1, 2009 at 11:14 pm
"She thinks this because apparently she's FUNCTIONALLY RETARDED."
best line of the review. Love the "F"s as usual!
"You seem to generally hate romantic comedies"
Because they all suck? Why they keep perpetuating themselves is beyond my comprehension.
Well there was that one apparently good one that Eric reviewed a week or two ago. Though I think he said there wasn't much comedy. Comedy + Romance don't mix into good entertainment, in my book.
February 2, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Ok, I know I'm going to get blasted for this comment, because apparently most of the people who visit this site hate romantic comedies and worship Eric. (By the way, I happen to think Eric is a great writer, and usually right.) But an F!!? I saw the movie this weekend. And while I don't feel that any one involved in the movie deserves an Oscar or anything, it certainly isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen! I even enjoyed it a little bit!
On the same day that Eric posted this, he posted another review for an action flick. In that review, he wrote, “Taken sets up a dire situation, establishes that the butt-kicking hero is more than capable of resolving it, then lets us thrill at seeing this accomplished. That our reactions are somewhat Pavlovian -- hero says cool things; audience cheers -- is the sort of thing that would only be pointed out by a killjoy.”
Gee, it sounds like that movie is pretty predictable and formulaic. And yet, you enjoy the journey and call any who point out its faults a “killjoy.” You would never cut this kind of slack for a romantic comedy. I’m starting to feel like if you can’t understand or appreciate a genre, maybe you shouldn’t review it. Oh yeah, and Russ (#17) should probably not start reviewing them either…
February 2, 2009 at 10:04 pm
I’m starting to feel like if you can’t understand or appreciate a genre, maybe you shouldn’t review it.
But that would deprive me of my livelihood and many other readers of some enjoyable reviews. I'm starting to feel like if you know how my reviews of romantic comedies usually go, maybe you shouldn't bother reading them.
February 3, 2009 at 10:34 pm
I see your point. I don't want to deprive you of your livelihood. Like I said, I think you're a great writer, and I will probably keep reading your reviews, because they're funny. But what I will stop doing is making my personal movie-going decisions based on your reviews. Other readers may not yet know of your bias against rom-coms, and may also be making decisions based on what you recommend.
February 4, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Wasn't one of the "In the Dark" lists recently something along the lines of "5 Romantic Comedies That Don't Suck"? Clearly Eric does, in fact, like rom coms, just not ones that suck. And for that we can all be grateful. Sure, he's biased against them...can't say I blame him, really. But the man calls them like he sees them, regardless of genre.
February 12, 2009 at 8:24 am
I too, didn't think New In Town deserved an F. Maybe a D, but Fs are like, reserved for stuff like Epic Movie, and The Hottie And The Nottie. You get my drift. Maybe Eric was having a bad day, but I really think Made Of Honor was more deserving of an F than New In Town. Did Eric's "5 Romantic Comedies That Don't Suck" include Rabbit Without Ears? I did enjoy that one!
March 5, 2009 at 6:35 am
May I say, your review was wholly acurate and a much deserved 'F' grade.
The only thing positive to say is that the actual making of the film kept (some) good people in employment.
In this current financial climate THAT is a good thing. However, in this current climate, WE (the public) could've done with a fantastic comedy (romantic or otherwise) or, an inspiring drama to lift up our mood or, at the very least, indulge us in some beautiful escpaism.
I guess Hollywood thinks we don't deserve it?
Renee, Harry, Jen, Jay, Jonas, Lionsgate, Gold Circle - i hope you bow your heads in shame when you pick up your next bank statement!
- Damo
p.s. I do realise I said the words 'Hollywood' and 'thinks' in the same sentence. Somebody had to 'think' to green-light this, surely?
September 18, 2009 at 10:45 pm
I really didn't like this movie, stupid things happened for no reason, (why was the guy even shot on the hunting trip anyway? I don't recall anything happening as a result of it) but I think it is better than Bride Wars. I would have swapped New In Town and Bride Wars' grades around. Just my opinion, I love reading yours, Eric : )
September 26, 2009 at 4:50 am
Come out of your tower, Eric. It's clear you've never been to Miami or Minnesota. You don't know what real cold is; the kind that cuts you to the bone and saps the life out of you in just seconds. Neither do you seem able to appreciate anything wholesome or real. The problem you have with this film is that it portrays decent, real people who you call "Jesus freaks." It was a cute joke; i.e., have you found Jesus...I didn't know he was lost. That's the sole reference upon which you base your crude remark? Are you serious? I absolutely loved this film, as did my whole family and everyone I've told to see it (a very diverse collection of various ethnic and socio/economic backgrounds). The key is, I explain that this is a true representation of the people who live in Minnesota and their lives. The dialogue was more than clever, and the jokes were delightful even though they were "clean" and not dependent on puting others down; something you apparently enjoy. I give this movie a solid B+.
September 17, 2010 at 10:45 am
I enjoyed the humor of your review, like I enjoy just about everything you write. But I also enjoyed this movie.
I may have a better frame of reference than most people. A few years ago I moved to Minnesota from West Palm Beach, Florida. Given that New Ulm is about 60 miles south of the Twin Cities, where I moved, and that WPB is about 60 miles north of Miami, from which Renee's character moved, I felt her pain. There is just no way you can prepare yourself for the temperature difference between Fall in Florida versus Minnesota.
On top of that, my very best friend in the world now is quite likely to punctuate his sentences with some "don't ya know"s and "aren't ya there"s. So, while not everyone here speaks like that, enough people do to make the stereotype not unreasonable.
But I have come to love my new home more than I could have imagined, and I cannot give you a single specific reason why.
Yes, the movie had weakenesses. It was no "A" or "B". But an "F"?
I so often agree with your movie reviews. Alas, this week I enjoyed New in Town and HATED The American, to which you gave a good review. Sigh. My world is undone **smile**
June 23, 2011 at 12:40 pm
Generally I check your reviews before I watch a movie, and I wish I had this time. Checked this out of the library and endured it due to late night laziness. I never cracked a smile. Thank you for the movie review archives.