Eric D. Snider
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Movie Review
"Resident Evil: Apocalypse"
Review by Eric D. Snider
Grade: D
Rating: R
Released: Friday, September 10, 2004
Directed by:
Cast:
You know how sometimes you're in an abandoned church, fighting off huge, red, skinless man-beasts that can crawl on walls, and you're out of ammo, and just at the last second a hot chick on a motorcycle crashes through a stained-glass window and saves the day? The people who made "Resident Evil: Apocalypse" have been there, too, so they can totally empathize.
For reasons I cannot fathom, this sequel to the 2002 hit has been highly anticipated, and I suppose those who have looked forward to it will not be disappointed. It is approximately just as loud, gross and stupid as its predecessor was, and you get to see Milla Jovovich's boobs. End of review.
Post-script: Paul W.S. Anderson, who mis-wrote and mis-directed the first film, only mis-wrote this one. He was unavailable to mis-direct, because he was busy mis-directing "Alien Vs. Predator." Stepping in to mis-direct "Apocalypse" is Alexander Witt, making his mis-directing debut after working on dozens of films as a second-unit mis-director.
"Apocalypse" is basically just another zombie movie, where if a zombie bites you, you become one, and so forth. It might seem more thrilling if there hadn't just been "28 Days Later" and "Dawn of the Dead," both of which were much scarier, funnier and more creative than this is.
Milla Jovovich returns as Alice, one of only two survivors of the lab accident that occupied the first film. In the sequel, the so-called T-Virus has escaped the lab and infected Raccoon City, leading Alice and various others to band together, fight the zombies and other such beasts, try to get out of the city, yada yada yada. It plays like a video game, with appropriate increases in difficulty as Alice and company get closer and closer to their goal. You may rest assured that one of the members of Alice's group is a wise-cracking black guy (Mike Epps), on hand to say sassy things -- you know, just like every single other horror film ever made. They're not even trying here.
Grade: D
Rated R, a lot of F-words, lots of blood and violence, a little nudity
1 hr., 34 min.
Copyright © Eric D. Snider.
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This item has 2 comments
December 14, 2007 at 8:09 am
I find this review very incorrect. Resident Evil is one of my favourite movies, I saw the first one when I was younger and it scared me so much, I loved it. You are obvivously not a Horror Film lover, because as all Horror Film lovers, such as me love how much blood and gore thier is in the movie. Of course all Horror Film's can use a good zombie or two. 28 days later is pretty good it's self, but I didn't like it as much as Resident Evil, why you may ask? It's simple. Resident Evil Movie's I can remember every detail, after the first time I watched it, 28 days later all I can remember is the beginning where they show the main actor's crotch area and after that he walks out. I'm not a typical girl either, just remembering the movies that show a man's crotch. I find that Milla Jovovich has great passion for this movie.
Her Co-actor's has the same passion for Resident Evil as she does.
This is why I feel that your reviews are complete Stupidity.
December 14, 2007 at 1:47 pm
No offense, Stephanie, but I think your comment clearly shows where the stupidity lies. Aside from the many grammatical and spelling errors, how does being able to remember every detail of a movie correspond to how good it is? I remember every detail of White Chicks, and that movie definitely wasn't good. In fact, what I mostly remember about it was how much I hated it.
And for the record, 28 Days (and Weeks) later were both better in EVERY conceivable way than Resident Evil (not just for the "crotch shot", to which you have so eloquently alluded).
PS--Milla Jovovich + Passion = 3 bad movies