Southland Tales
Movie Review
"Southland Tales"
Review by Eric D. Snider
Grade: D
Rating: R
Released: Friday, November 16, 2007
Directed by:
Cast:
Seeing "Southland Tales" has made me change my opinion of writer/director Richard Kelly. His first film, 2001's "Donnie Darko," gave the impression that he was some film-school hotshot who thought incoherence was the same thing as brilliance. Now I realize "Donnie Darko" wasn't obtuse on purpose: Kelly just doesn't know how to communicate.
"Southland Tales" is a rambling, senseless mess. But in interviews, Kelly honestly seems to believe he's made something satirically insightful, something that will get people thinking. It's sort of like reading a manifesto from the Unabomber. He thinks it's an eloquent dissertation, while no one else can even figure out what he's talking about.
I guess it's nice to know Kelly's not doing it intentionally, that his faux-provocateur sensibility is just the way his mind works, but I can't say it makes "Southland Tales" any more bearable. It's garish and cheesy, with everyone apparently directed to speak their lines as broadly and one-dimensionally as if they were no-name actors appearing in a made-for-USA-Network movie. The story eventually becomes so devoid of reason that I stopped taking notes on it. You might as well try to follow -- and make sense of -- the plot progression in a dream.
The film is set in July 2008, three years after a nuclear attack on Texas started World War III. The United States has become almost a totalitarian regime, with visas required to travel between states and the USIdent department controlling all of cyberspace to quash dissent.
Neo-Marxist liberal cells have begun to pop up, however, and a porn actress named Krysta Now (Sarah Michelle Gellar) is involved with one in Southern California. She's recently hooked up with an actor named Boxer Santaros (Dwayne Johnson), whose wife is the daughter of a Republican senator running for vice-president. Boxer disappeared in the Nevada desert a few days ago and has now reappeared with amnesia. He and Krysta have written a screenplay called "The Power," although since he just showed up a couple days ago, I'm wondering if maybe she had already written it and has just put his name on it.
But back to the neo-Marxists. They want to use Boxer in a scheme to defame the government by making the police appear more brutal and severe than they are. (The police are now called Urban Pacification Units, by the way.) This involves kidnapping a real cop named Taverner (Seann William Scott), putting his uniform on his twin brother, and having the twin go out and do something nefarious while Boxer videotapes it. It's all for show; no one's really going to get hurt.
Meanwhile, a scientist named Baron Von Westphalen (Wallace Shawn) has devised an alternative fuel called Fluid Karma. There is something shady going on with Fluid Karma and the U.S. soldiers on whom it may have been tested. There is one particular soldier, Abilene (Justin Timberlake), who now runs two operations, one selling drugs and another perching on a pylon out in the ocean and sniping beachgoers.
Meanwhile, the text of "The Power" has begun to circulate, and a USIdent employee (i.e., a cog in the Big Brother machinery) named Starla (Michele Durrett) has become obsessed with acting it out with Boxer Santaros playing his role.
There is more to the story than what I've told you, but describing it wouldn't do any good, even if I could describe it. There's a zeppelin. There are doppelgangers. Metaphysics become a factor. At one point someone warns, "The fourth dimension will collapse on itself, you stupid b****!" I grant you, it's hard to completely hate a movie that says that, or that has Wallace Shawn playing a character named Baron Von Westphalen.
But if the film is good for anything, it's to marvel at how misguided and dull it is, and at how Kelly has managed to apply his uniquely baffling aesthetic to every element. For good or bad (so far just bad), Kelly knows how to make a film that is entirely his. And in "Southland Tales," somewhere beneath all the layers of idiocy are some good ideas -- if only Kelly knew how to express them.
Grade: D
Rated R, a lot of harsh profanity, a lot of sexual vulgarity, some violence
2 hrs., 24 min.
Copyright © Eric D. Snider.
This work may not be transmitted via the Internet, nor reproduced in any other way, without written consent from Eric D. Snider.
This item has 9 comments
November 16, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Anybody else find themselves wishing that Sarah Michelle Gellar would, you know, make a good movie? She really deserves much better than the stuff she's done.
November 23, 2007 at 8:53 am
ClobberGirl: Definitely. SMG is a great actress, but I don't think she's been in anything but bad movies since Buffy ended. Sigh.
November 23, 2007 at 1:02 pm
I found myself conflicted with this movie. It does have many intriguing ideas, and some wonderfully inspired moments. (Timberlake's music video dream and the unique "Star Spangled Banner" towards the end, to name two) Yet often enough, the dialogue is really bad. The movie has a lot going for it until people start talking to other people. I also think that I remember it being better than it was simply for having a great soundtrack. And yes, this movie reminded me of my love for Wallace Shawn. It also features that weird, short and fat lady, who I remember as being a witch in some children's movie from way back when. It got points from me for that.
December 4, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Jacob M says: "The movie has a lot going for it until people start talking to other people."
yuh. me dink dis' poo-poo tase grate til me eet it. (bleach...)
March 10, 2008 at 1:05 am
I watched about 40 minutes of this movie before I realized I was hopelessly lost and didn't have ANY desire to try and figure out the story. Plus, it's 2008 like, NOW, so it's weird watching a so-called futuristic movie set a few months from now. Seriously, what happened to just placing futuristic movies in some generic time like 2039? I don't know what Dwayne Johnson was thinking when he signed on for this movie because it's a dark blight on his otherwise fairly decent career. His character's story made no sense, which was the most frustrating thing about it.Oh so many questions! How could he write a screenplay if he was suffering from amnesia? How did he get involved with SMG's character anyway? Why did the country allow the internet to be regulated? Did all the Democrats die? Despite my hope that the plot would clear up, which made me watch the movie way longer than anyone should have to, it just continued to get worse as muddled badly-explained ideas and concepts continued to get thrown in. Normally when I watch bad movies, at least I usually have some feeling of obligation to watch the whole movie before I judge it, but this one wasn't even worth that.
April 16, 2008 at 2:34 pm
i am so sick of people who haven't read the unabomber's manifesto using it as shorthand for senseless raving. anyone who's ever read the thing knows that, agree with it or not, it's perfectly lucid, logical, and understandable.
October 24, 2008 at 9:14 am
Being a big post-apocalyptic fan, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. The intro reminded me a lot of the world of Fallout, and basically I took the movie with a pinch of salt. It was a lot of fun. The only thing that bugged me was that you had to read the comics to understand the movie a bit more, otherwise you'd be completely lost. I wish they sold the DVD as a collector's edition which included the comics, that would help sales much much more. Overall, it has many interesting concepts and even more "wtf" moments, that leave you wondering to yourself "why did he/she do that?".
There are many memorable scenes though, watch out for Justin Timberlake's Fluid Karma trip.
May 16, 2009 at 9:49 pm
The guy that origianlly reviewed this movie is a moron. Not only was Donnie darko a great flick, this was too, even though it was a little off the wall. I'm sorry its not your every day trash that you dont have to think about for more than ten seconds. Sure, there are parts that are a little corny. I truly believe those lines were MEANT to be that way for effect. It's meant to make fun of those artists and celebrities who actually think their political opinion matters, The politicians who are rarely competent, The police who act first and cover it up later. This movie does it in a strange way, but really uncovers a lot of the social ineptitudes our modern day society is dealing with. The patriot act, potential nuclear war(even though unlikely there is always a possibility), censorship, and last, but not least, the COMPLETE loss of power of the people. He does it tactfully, and knew he wasn't going after a mainsteam audience, but he really gets the point across that if we don't act soon, our basic liberties will be eaten away by fear. Fear of the next attack, or disease, or whatever. take some time to watch this movie again. THINK this time. thank you for your time. Sorry for the typos, in a hurry
May 4, 2011 at 1:39 am
I stumbled onto some friends watching this movie, and it didn't seem to make any sense. I then saw two cars have sex with each other. It was at this point that I stopped watching the movie.