The Adventures of Shark Boy & Lava Girl in 3-D
Movie Review
"The Adventures of Shark Boy & Lava Girl in 3-D"
Review by Eric D. Snider
Grade: C
Rating: PG
Released: Friday, June 10, 2005
Directed by:
Cast:
Robert Rodriguez is famous for doing it all himself. He'll write the screenplay, direct the movie, work as his own cinematographer, and even compose the score. The result is that his films often have a unified, distinct vision to them. The downside is that sometimes this unified, distinct vision is boring, and when you're doing all the work yourself, there's no one to tell you're doing it wrong.
"The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D" is based on bedtime stories improvised by Rodriguez and his 7-year-old son, allegedly named "Racer," though I find that hard to believe. That the film arose from such beginnings is no surprise; it has the random, nonsensical whimsy of a child's off-the-cuff storytelling. You can see Racer coming up with one idea after another to forestall lights-out:
"And then Sharkboy shows up, and then there's a fight, and then they have to go to the Dream Lair, and then they have to get the Crystal Heart, and then they have to freeze time, and then there's an ice castle, and then Lavagirl melts stuff, and then there's a boy, and then somebody farts."
If this beginning-less, middle-less and end-less story sounds like it would make a good film, then you and Robert Rodriguez think alike. For the rest of us, it's a tiresome, generically adventurous tale for kids.
The hero is a fourth-grader named Max ("Cayden" Boyd, speaking of made-up names) who is forever being picked on for living in a fantasy world and having a tenuous grasp on reality. His "what I did on my summer vacation" report is full of visits from Sharkboy (Taylor Lautner) and Lavagirl (Taylor Dooley), much to the dismay of his English teacher (George Lopez), who for some reason continually seeks to stifle Max's creativity rather than foster it. (The history teacher, I can see. But the English teacher? When the class is focusing on creative writing? That makes no sense.)
Max has two bickering parents (David Arquette and Kristin Davis) who disagree on what to do with him, but no matter. Soon he is whisked away to the planet Drool by SB and LG, his talents (whatever they are) needed to stop the evil Mr. Electric (George Lopez again) from, I don't know, destroying the universe? SB and LG need Max specifically because he is their creator, having imagined them in the first place. Why he can't then just imagine that Mr. Electricity dies and never bothers Drool again, I don't know. I am not familiar with the rules governing one's delusions.
The movie's message is that our imagination creates a world that can be as real and as vital as the "real" real world, and that creative thinking among young people should be encouraged. Unfortunately, the movie makes this point 1,000,000,000,000,000 times over the course of its 94 minutes, for an average of 10,638,297,872,340 instances of point-making per minute. Imagination is important. WE GET IT. Now how about coming up with an interesting or clever story? These wan adventures -- punctuated by lengthy 3-D sequences in dull, muted colors where nothing "pops" or even needs to be in 3-D -- are tedious and uninspired. You'd think a movie about the virtues of using your imagination would be more, you know, imaginative. But this thing -- this thing, your own kid could have come up with. It's fine for bedtime, but who pours $30 million into filming a random bedtime story?
Grade: C
Rated PG, mild action violence and some crude humor
1 hr., 34 min.
Copyright © Eric D. Snider.
This work may not be transmitted via the Internet, nor reproduced in any other way, without written consent from Eric D. Snider.
This item has 17 comments
July 5, 2007 at 6:40 pm
That movie was awesome. I think Shark Boy is so CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 25, 2007 at 6:25 pm
I love that movie. I also think sharkboy is CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No hes supercute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 28, 2007 at 2:19 pm
i love that movie so much. i think shark boy is so sexy
July 28, 2007 at 5:18 pm
i love how strong shark boy is so strong taylor lautner is so hot (sharkboy) the movie was so cool but you should have replaced max or found a different guy yo play his part
July 28, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Enough lady, sheesh.
July 29, 2007 at 12:27 pm
I think that Taylor Launter is soooo cute!And i love the movie!My sis likes it too!Well both of my little sis!He (Sharkboy)Is so cute!And SEXY!
July 30, 2007 at 1:48 am
he's 13 years old people.... I dont care who you are, calling a 13 year old boy "sexy" is sick! Get help!
July 30, 2007 at 11:49 pm
i think Sharkboy so sexy man i see seen and how could i like many boys
July 31, 2007 at 12:22 am
I am sure that whoever is posting these messages is less than 13 herself, so I wouldn't worry.
August 7, 2007 at 1:35 pm
You know what bugs me about the movie after I saw the whole thing? Sharkboy, Lavagirl, and Max got captured a few times in this movie, and always managed to escape...after a few moments...I find that just an enigma.
August 9, 2007 at 10:39 pm
okay all of you people that think sharkboy is "sexy" is just nuts and yea sharkboy can't sing or dance, and lavagirl and max suck at acting, the movie sucked with a passion and if i were to rate it i would give it negative 1 million stars the graphics sucked, yea they could of made the movie a little more realistic.. i think i could come up with a better story line and plot and become famous off of it!! watching that movie was a waste of my time!!
September 18, 2007 at 5:12 pm
i thought the movie was pretty good and its supposed to be nonrealistic
September 20, 2007 at 4:01 pm
Ok well yeah the movied might have sucked for like teens (which probally all you are) but little kids like it, and i mean it was not that bad but little kids definiltley love it. yes and Taylor Lautner is really cute!!!! I love Him!!!!!
October 15, 2007 at 11:39 am
i love sharkboy as well but you dont love him more than my lilcozen she will screem when i put on that movie but he is nice really nice.
November 22, 2007 at 2:14 pm
i like this story because shark boy said i the movie hot head! and my favorite part in the movie is when shark boy pick up lava girl and put her in lava mountain.
March 19, 2009 at 8:02 pm
this movie sux, it's corny, it's stupid, and it's REALLY CORNY. A movie for 5 year olds really, and no matter what the circumstance how come they always manage to win, even when they lose.
May 8, 2010 at 3:47 am
This movie...what can I say besides "That was 94 minutes I'll never get back..."
Why Sharkboy has claws I don't know (Sharks have fins FYI, no individual fingers to have claws on) and why he only has sharp teeth for random scenes of the movie, and the rest he has regular human teeth...
The "Special" effects remind me of one of the older Crash Bandicoot games for the Playstation.
Besides these holes in the plot and the general retarded-ness of the movie, I suppose other (decent) movies need something like this to show them just how bad they COULD be. I'm glad we have an example of what not to do when making a film.