Wrath of the Titans
Wrath of the Titans
by Eric D. Snider
Released: March 30, 2012
Oh, right, this thing. Remember that "Clash of the Titans" remake a couple years ago, the one with lousy after-the-fact 3D conversion and a boring lead actor? The one that was anticlimactic and dull, even though it had a Kraken in it? Well, they made a sequel.
"Wrath of the Titans" features little wrath and only one Titan, but at least the special effects are good. (In 2D anyway, which is how I saw it.) This time, bland demigod Perseus (Sam Worthington) must join forces with his ne'er-do-well cousin, Agenor (Toby Kebbell), to prevent god of war Ares (Edgar Ramirez) and grumpy Hades (Ralph Fiennes) from unleashing devastation upon humanity by releasing Cronos from his prison. Cronos is a Titan, the father of Hades, Zeus (Liam Neeson), and Poseidon (Danny Huston), though how he sired those three sons despite being a giant lava monster is not explained. Presumably the lads' mother was more human-looking? Maybe Cronos was not always a giant lava monster?
I don't have time to delve into Greek genealogy. The point is, dull Perseus and his wacky cousin have a mission that necessitates traveling through perilous terrain, seeking ancient artifacts, that sort of thing. Encounters with a tribe of cyclopses and a two-headed dragon-bat monster are energetically staged by director Jonathan Liebesman ("Battle Los Angeles"), and the always-welcome Bill Nighy is on hand as Hephaestus, the dotty old god who manufactured the gods' weapons and knows how to use them properly.
But oh -- it's all so dumb. Rarely has so much money and time and talent been expended to make something so inert and useless. Look at all the effort they wasted just to bore me! Believe me, I can be bored for a lot less work than went into this.
Rated PG-13, fantasy violence and whatever
1 hr., 39 min.
Copyright © Eric D. Snider.
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