Bike Curious

Snide Remarks #589

"Bike Curious"

by Eric D. Snider

Published on August 4, 2008

There is growing tension between two of America's largest factions: people who drive cars, and people who get in the way of cars by riding bicycles.

A bicycle is a perfectly legitimate mode of transportation, of course, particularly if you are 8 years old, or Lance Armstrong. The problem is that American roads were designed with automobiles in mind, and cars make up the bulk of road traffic, and cars and bikes don't really interact very well. Cyclists are stuck in this ill-defined netherworld. You're not supposed to ride on the sidewalk, but you're not supposed to be out in the regular traffic lanes, either, except in cases where there's no bike lane, and then you can be out in the regular lanes and the drivers are supposed to treat you as if you were a fellow automobile, except that fellow automobiles accelerate more quickly and don't top out at 15 mph and don't crumple into bloody piles of metal and flesh when you barely tap them with your bumper.

All of this makes it difficult for drivers and cyclists to co-exist. This tension has led to the rise of bicycle activism, a movement that, like most forms of activism, seems to attract primarily the strident, the humorless, and the unemployed. For example, here is the story of a woman in Virginia who was so annoyed at not being allowed to bring her bicycle into a Wal-Mart that she took her clothes off!

Leading bicycle activist P.W. Herman.

Posting on a bicycle-enthusiast website, the woman says she rode four miles to Wal-Mart only to discover that there was no place to lock up her bike outside, so she tried to take it inside the store with her. The elderly woman at the entrance said she couldn't do this, and the manager was summoned.

"So the manager comes out and says I can't bring the bike into the store, so I explain to her that there are safe places for people who drive to lock their cars but there is no safe place for me to lock my mode of transportation." Yes, bicyclists, your people have been oppressed for centuries. Someday a leader will arise who will lead your people to equality. His name will be Martin Luther Schwinn. Is this woman suggesting that if there were no parking lot in which to leave your car, or if your car could not be securely locked, you should be able to bring it inside? Because that's stupid.

The manager said that the woman couldn't bring the bike inside because Wal-Mart sells bikes, and she might be mistaken for a shoplifter when she tried to leave with it. So the woman asked if Wal-Mart sells shirts, and the manager said yes, and so the woman took off her shirt, lest there be any confusion. She continued with this line of thought until she had removed her shorts, shoes, and sunglasses, too, leaving her in just her spandex and sports bra.

Now, arguing with a Wal-Mart employee is like arguing with the bookie at a cockfight: You might win the debate, but what were you doing there in the first place? But in this case, the Wal-Mart manager was right, albeit for the wrong reasons. The logic that you can't bring your bike inside because the store sells bikes is, as demonstrated, faulty. The real reason not to let someone push her bicycle up and down the aisles at Wal-Mart is that Wal-Mart is not an open-air market, and you are not in Morocco. Bikes are for outdoor use; Wal-Mart is located indoors. Wal-Mart reserves the right to refuse service to anyone, and that includes attention whores (which is what you are if you remove your clothing in public for any reason other than being on fire).

But while angry cyclists are disrobing in Virginia, up in New York City, the cops are knocking them off their bikes for no reason and then lying about it. On July 25, a bike rally was taking place in Manhattan, and a cyclist named Christopher Long was arrested for obstructing traffic and attempted assault after he intentionally steered his bike directly into a cop, 22-year-old Patrick Pogan, and knocked the officer down. (You can read the arrest report here.) Except whoops! A video of the incident soon popped up on YouTube, and it turns out everything the cop said in his sworn statement was a big fat lie.

As you can plainly see, there was no traffic to obstruct (there were no cars on the road), and Long didn't run into the cop or knock him down -- the cop ran into him, body-checking him like a hockey player and knocking him off his bike, seemingly for no reason, or at least not for any of the reasons he listed in his arrest report. The actual reason was probably "I'm a 22-year-old meathead who played football in high school, and now I'm a cop who likes to abuse his power by beating up civilians and lying about it."

Pogan's badge and gun have been taken away while the incident is investigated. Since proof that Pogan lied and misconducted himself is all over the Internet in video form, I'm curious to see how the NYPD will follow its standard procedure of investigating in a cursory fashion and then declaring that the cops didn't do anything wrong after all. That's gonna be a hard sell this time.

But here's another twist: While Officer Pogan is a lying douchebag who ought to be fired, a lot of people are kind of jealous that he got to knock down one of those bicyclists. The victim was taking part in Critical Mass, a rally held monthly in dozens of cities in which bicyclists converge by the hundreds or even thousands and ride through town. It was originally conceived in San Francisco as a means of calling attention to how bicycle-unfriendly that city was -- because really, what better way to get automobile drivers to treat you better than to gather en masse and clog up their roads?

Most Critical Mass participants are law-abiding and reasonable, but there are always a few bad apples who kick cars, intentionally block traffic, and generally make a nuisance of themselves as a form of protest or whatever. Consequently, many city-dwellers dislike the event and have a negative view of bicyclists. This tension is evident here in Portland, a city known all over for being bike-friendly, which is strange, considering how often Portland bicyclists are run over. (What would a bike-unfriendly city be like? Would drivers hunt bicyclists for sport?) A few weeks ago, The Oregonian reported an incident where a drunken bicyclist sped through a couple red lights, prompting an automobile driver -- who is also an avid cyclist, it turns out -- to pull up next to him and scold him for giving bike riders a bad name. This angered the bicyclist, who got off his bike, picked it up, and started hitting the man's car with it. When the man got out of his car, the bike guy started swinging the bike at HIM. Then a passerby stepped in and punched the bike guy, laying him flat -- which meant we now had a bicyclist lying on the ground next to his battered bike in front of a dented car, which made other passersby think he'd been run over, which led them to start attacking the driver.

Fortunately, the cops arrived and sorted everything out before the bike supporters became an angry, unshaven mob. The bicyclist was arrested for assault, criminal mischief, disorderly conduct, and driving under the influence. (Yes, riding a bike while drunk is against the law, too.) Nobody was seriously hurt. A week later, the tables were turned when a bicyclist yelled at a driver for going too fast on a residential street, whereupon the bicyclist was chased down by the driver and had to leap onto the car's hood to avoid being hit. The driver then sped through the neighborhood with the bicyclist clinging to the windshield for dear life. The driver, a 21-year-old who already had a terrible driving record, was arrested. Turns out he was intoxicated, too, just like the bicyclist in the last story, making me think the problem here isn't the tension between drivers and cyclists -- it's the tension between drunks and non-drunks. And I don't see those issues being resolved any time soon, unfortunately, not as long as our streets are still clogged with those annoying non-drinkers.

Notes:

Another element of the Wal-Mart woman's story that I don't like is that she claims to have successfully taken her bike into this particular store before, yet she also implies that the store's lack of bike racks was news to her on the day of the incident. If she'd been there before, wouldn't she have known there were no racks? Or did she take the bike inside on her previous visits without even looking for an alternative first? Maybe she carries her bike around everywhere, like those ladies who carry small dogs in their purses.

Here's a New York Times story about the cop and the bicyclist, and here's one from Gothamist that adds more details. The usual response here is that none of us were there, and that the video can only tell part of the story. But the fact is, everything in the arrest report is refuted by the video. If the cop had a good reason for shoving the guy off his bike, he never said what it was.

SnideCast intro & outro: "Bicycle Race," Queen.

This item has 37 comments

Lane says:
August 4, 2008 at 5:44 am
My natural reaction after reading something like this is to want to take sides and be fired up against the other side. Since I don't have a strong opinion for or against bike people, I guess I'll just take this as another opportunity to be fired up against extremists and activists and women who wear spandex. I mean, come on!

"Now, arguing with a Wal-Mart employee is like arguing with the bookie at a cockfight: You might win the debate, but what were you doing there in the first place?" -- clever, funny, true.
Jenn says:
August 4, 2008 at 5:46 am
Cool....can't wait to see the lawsuit on this one!! I wonder how many lawyers this guy had knocking on his door? I love the W-M story.....sounds like something that would happen at my store!! We get idiots trying to bring all kinds of things through the doors. Thank goodness we have those crack senior citizens guarding them though: imagine the horror if they weren't?!
Andrew D says:
August 4, 2008 at 5:50 am
Is this a first for Snide Remarks featuring motion pictures?

...I can't wait for the pop-up book.
Christina D says:
August 4, 2008 at 6:37 am
My favorite part of the bike-riding Portland-ers is when they would ride their bikes naked through downtown to prove some sort of point. I forget what their points were (most likely something about saving the environment or ending the war), but I sure thought it was a stupid way to bring attention to it! I'm pretty sure riding a bike naked would be awfully uncomfortable for either a man or a woman, as well as extremely uncomfortable for all the innocent bystanders.

Luckily, I never experienced that in person (only vicariously though the news). However, I did experience lots of anti-war parades. I call them parades, because mostly the bums on the street participated (because they pay them to do it) and we all know that the hippie bums in downtown Portland can be pretty interesting looking.
Leah Jane says:
August 4, 2008 at 8:12 am
I ride my bike nearly every place I go, unless I need to take the bus. I constantly worry about the day to come when my thighs (and those of all bikers) will be as swollen up and full of muscle mass as the boy from Triplets of Belleville. Then we'll be an unsightly bunch to behold on the roads, with or without traffic.
Phil Cardenas says:
August 4, 2008 at 10:34 am
I first saw this video on Hotair.com and it generated hundreds of comments. Some people think that the cop might have been justified because they think the biker may have been trying to "swerve and dash" into the officer. There's no audio, so I can't tell if the cop was trying to tell the biker to slow down or get out of the way. Still, there is probably no excuse for being so impulsive. The popo gots to have rules.

And wait, was there no video of "biker girl" taking her clothes off? C'mon people this is 2008! Everything is being videoed! There is probably a video of me right now as I'm cleaning my ear with a pen cap...
Shelby says:
August 4, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I think the real issue here is between the spandex-wearers and the non-spandex-wearers. Last weeks Comic Con pic that Eric so graciously provided? Case in point.
David Cornelius says:
August 4, 2008 at 1:44 pm
"If she'd been there before, wouldn't she have known there were no racks?"

Oooh! It's like Eric just solved an Encyclopedia Brown mystery!
David Cornelius says:
August 4, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Alternate punchline to the above quote:

Perhaps by removing her shirt, she was providing her own rack.

Ahem.
Andrew says:
August 4, 2008 at 1:59 pm
I've taken my bike into Wal-Mart several times and never once had to take off my clothes.

I do try and avoid riding down the aisles, despite the almost overwhelming temptation.
Dave says:
August 4, 2008 at 2:52 pm
My comments are not funny, but I enjoyed the story which I thought was funny. Making fun of car drivers who are overly impatient would also be funny.

Yes, Portland is bike-friendly. However, the challenge you describe is so true. Bicyclists need to get from point A to point B. If road x on the route doesn't have a good bike lane, they are in a fix - on a road made for cars with no space for a bike, they are at risk. Twice today driving to work I had bikes on small, curvy roads nearly cause an accident because a car swerved around them only to find me in the opposing lane.

In both episodes, unlike the examples in your story, the cars were at fault. Although they may have been frustrated, it did not excuse them from doing something stupid to get around the bicyclist. It behooves car drivers to be patient and cautious.

On the other hand, it is true that bicyclists will also do dumb things from time to time. The biggest example is failure to attend to normal traffic signals, as in your story.

In all humor, there is some truth.
Randy Tayler says:
August 4, 2008 at 3:07 pm
I want to apologize to the bicyclist that I cut off the other day when I made a right turn in front of him. He was waiting on the sidewalk for the green light, like I was (waiting for the light -- not on the sidewalk), and I saw that the pedestrian crosswalk sign was still red, so I cut in front of him, thinking he was a pedestrian.

But he was a cyclist, just breaking the rules and using the sidewalk.

Hey, nevermind. I'm not apologizing. If he wants to be treated like a cyclist, he needs to obey road rules; if he were just walking his bike, or wanted to be treated like a pedestrian, he would need to obey pedestrian rules. He can't have it both ways!

I hate that jerk now. No apologies!
Dave the Slave says:
August 4, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I agree that this problem has nothing to do with bike users and non-bike users. It has everything to do with big ol' fat whiny babies who ride bikes and big ol' fat whiny babies that don't use bikes. Like so many problems today, the whole focus has completely and utterly shifted from "what's right" to "who's right".
If more people would focus on how to fix the problem like responsible adults, rather than how to try to muscle your opponents into getting it your way, things would greatly improve.
People with latent hostility towards any group most likely will find a way to justify their anger somehow, using legitimate issues like this. It's kind of funny to think bike usage might make it right up there with immigration, gay rights, and gun control soon...
No matter what the issue, giving a giant middle finger to everyone who has differing views is as helpful to your cause as staying in your room and crapping your pants. (-and shows about the same maturity level) If your opinion truly is the best for everyone and society in general, make your point through educating and reasoning with your detractors.
If that woman had been patient, kind and non-confrontational, I seriously doubt they wouldn't have been able to find a healthy compromise. Taking her clothes off demonstrated nothing but her childish pouting. (whats worse is you read comments on that page by idiots actually applauding her childishness. *sigh*)

/endrant
Lowdogg says:
August 4, 2008 at 4:30 pm
There wasn't a rack so she brought her own.

Bada bing!
Super Deadly Ham Attack says:
August 4, 2008 at 5:38 pm
I might be in the minority here, but as someone who walks and drives about equally, I'd rather have bicyclists riding on the sidewalk. It's a lot easier for me to just step out of a cyclist's way on the sidewalk; it's not so easy when I'm behind a cyclist going down a one way street doing 15 MPH and I can't get around them.
Neal says:
August 4, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Come on, WalMart-shopping bicyclists! The solution is obvious. Tell them you are returning your bike. They'll give you a little pink sticker. You could also drive into the store with your car, if you told them you were returning the tires (four pink stickers).
Frank says:
August 4, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Eric,

As an avid mountain biker who now finds, due to rising fuel and other costs, the necessity of commuting to work by bike, I enjoyed your article and your willingness to make both sides laugh at themselves a little. There's no doubt that with the sagging economy and the hike in gas prices, bicyclists will continue to become a more common site on the road, and hopefully the local governments will start to do something intelligent to meet the new demand, but until then we'll have to try and all get along. Thanks for the laugh!

(BTW, to Randy Tayler, though I try to avoid it, yes I will, in some specific areas, ride on the sidewalk, not because I want to be a jerk, but because I want to make it home to see my wife and kids just as much as you do (assuming you have the same). But don't worry, I'm watching for drivers more than they're watching for me. I've found that being a bicyclist means you are regarded as something lower then any vehicle or pedestrian by enough other people that it pays to be very wary.)
Kourtney says:
August 4, 2008 at 7:29 pm
If Pee Wee can chain his bike to a mechanical clown while shopping, I'm pretty sure Spandex Lady can chain her bike to something found in front of Walmart. A group of disobedient shoeless children, for example.
ClobberGirl says:
August 4, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Regardless of tensions between bikers and motorists (or drunks and non-drunks?), it is nice to see so many people using transportation other than cars to save gas. I haven't ridden a bike since high school, and I do have a car, but I walk and take the bus almost everywhere I go.

And that cop is so fired.
Matt says:
August 5, 2008 at 12:57 pm
In my town we are bike friendly with bike paths that go through the whole town, people still drive on the road and act like we (car drivers) are the jerks. Let me just say this, if you think you have the right to be on the road with your means of transportation, motorized or not then you need to obey the laws of the road, that includes going the speed limit and using proper lane changes, and not weaving in and out of traffic when it suits you. If you can't do all of this then don't look at me when I pass you in my four wheel drive gas sucking pick up truck. Just because I decide not to look like a fruit cake and get dressed up in spandex with the goofy looking sunglasses and helmet doesn't mean I'm a bad person. I don't ride bikes, more power to you if you do, but don't give me dirty looks when I pass and don't harrass me at your stupid bike rallys when I drive by in my truck, telling me how I am contributing to the end of the ozone or whatever, to that I give the middle finger and turn the music up loud enough to drown out their hippie cries. One last thing, if there were open seasons on bikers I would take full advantage of that.
Adam says:
August 5, 2008 at 1:17 pm
This same thing happened to me!

I have a BMX bike that I like to use to ride around town. It's small and unobtrusive, but pretty expensive so I wouldn't want to leave it lying around unsecured. The first time I rode it to Wal-mart, I just walked right in with it, and no one said anything. I didn't even look for bike racks, since I didn't have a lock on me anyway.

The second time I tried it, I was stopped and told I couldn't take my bike in the store. I turned around and went home, since I didn't have a bike lock.

The third time I came prepared with a lock. But as I walked in with it, again, no one said anything. (I'm more surprised that they don't mind me walking in with the backpack that I use to carry my groceries home, actually). That time, though, they did ask me for a receipt for the bike on the way out. I simply explained the situation and there was no problem.

The fourth time they told me I couldn't bring my bike in. I had my lock, so I locked it up. This was the first time I looked around for bike racks. Of course, there were none, but that didn't bother me for a second. Anyone who rides their bike around town knows that bike racks are few and far between, and learns to improvise. I used a bench in the little vestibule area between the two sets of doors. It was perfect.

Here's a question: say you by a bike at Wal-mart and want to return it or exchange it or even get it repaired? To me it seems like the fact that they sell bikes there is an argument in favor of being able to bring bikes into the store.

That being said, I would never attempt to take the road bike I use for commuting into a store. That just seems more vehicle-like, and doesn't seem to belong indoors, for reasons I can't really articulate.
Karen Gayle Stout says:
August 5, 2008 at 11:28 pm
@ #20 Matt: I'm having a bit of trouble getting from the first line of your post to the last couple of lines without my head exploding.

I don't ride a bike, but my son does. I hope he doesn't live in your "bike friendly town." Or, at least, not as long as you're in it, wishing for an "open season on bikers."

Please let me know what town this is so I can warn him. Thanks.
B says:
August 6, 2008 at 3:27 pm
20: I suspect there is a reason that bike riders act like you are the jerk, and it has more to do with you than it does with the bike riders.
J Brown says:
August 6, 2008 at 8:00 pm
I'm trying not to get killed. I have been lucky. I've ridden road bikes for many years and have yet to be knocked over by a car. I actually make every attempt to stay safe and upright and I fully understand that I care more about my "skin" then the people in cars do. In other words, when I'm riding in traffic I'm searching for the fools and idiots in the cars. I need to spot them before they hit me. I recognize potential dangerous situations and do all that is within my power to make sure I'm not hit by an unobservant or careless motorist.

Sometimes on narrow one lane roads you PURPOSELY ride somewhat out in the lane FORCING people to cross that little white line versus trying to squeeze by you within that all too narrow lane. People naturally do not want to cross that lane; there's a psychological barrier. You, the rider, have got to get them to cross that psychological barrier (the white line) for your safety, and theirs. So you don't ride in the middle of the lane to make them mad; you ride in the middle of the lane to force them out and around you; much safer for all involved.

One other trick I use. On a busy street I'll sometimes be swerving in my line PURPOSELY hoping to stimulate you to PAY ATTENTION. If I can get your adrenaline flowing you'll pay more attention passing me and I'll be safer.

I really, really don't want to make you mad: I really, really want you to pay attention when you're coming up behind me.

Sorry!
Global Warming says:
August 6, 2008 at 10:43 pm
All those that are disturbed by the thought of largely physically active bicyclists participating in naked rallies should be glad the Segway revolution has yet to take off.
Pumpkin says:
August 7, 2008 at 1:45 am
The only way to make San Francisco bike-friendly would be to level the whole city. Trying to prove SF isn't bike friendly because of a lack of bike lanes is irrelevant, because the crazy steep streets make it not bike-friendly! I recently learned that the motivation behind the invention of the cable cars was because horses were killed going downhill by being overrun by the buggies behind them.
purplemonkeydishwasher says:
August 7, 2008 at 3:15 am
How weird, I had that Queen song in my head this weekend.

And how come every time I ride my bike, someone shouts out "And I'll get your little dog, too!"? It's probably the large picnic basket I have strapped to the back. The one that's full of Cardigan Welsh Corgies.
homerific says:
August 7, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Having just been in Morocco this summer, I must say that I didn't see very many bikes in the markets. They would have been impossible to maneuver. I did see lots of donkeys, though. (The line still made me giggle).
macbrooks says:
August 7, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Well, having lived in a major metro for over 20 years (does that qualify me?), I've seen my fair share of bicyclists running red lights, riding on the sidewalk, the wrong way of a one-way street, the wrong way of a one-way bike lane (that one really surprises me), etc. etc. etc. And I've also seen motorists run red lights, not signal their lane changes, not slow down (kind of blowing right by the whole stopping concept) to take a right on a red light, etc. etc. etc.

I think it comes down to how self-centered people are when they ride/drive. Vehicles can kill people with careless driving while bicyclists can injure but more likely irritate the hell out of people with careless driving.

Hmmm. There's no point to my post. Sorry about that.

Group hug!

mac :]
Laura says:
August 7, 2008 at 10:32 pm
saw this in the salt lake tribune right before i read your remark today.

http://www.sltrib.com/ci_10115861?IADID=Search-www.sltrib.com-www.sltrib.com
William Jackson says:
August 9, 2008 at 3:57 pm
There was a Critical Mass incident in Austin, TX back in 2001:

http://bicycleaustin.info/newsletter/2001-10-31.html

Bicyclists were blocking cars, so a guy in a Jeep just drives over one of them. Jeep hits another car. Fight ensues. There's video.
Neil says:
August 11, 2008 at 12:30 am
My experience as a driver - I shredded a tire on a curb after swerving to avoid a sidewalk biker who decided that he he had the right of way as I was turning into a parking lot. I got upset and yelled a lot. Acted silly. I feel bad about that, even though he was a moron.

My experience as a walker - I like blocking and causing sidewalk riders to fall over. It's fun.
whea-wix says:
August 11, 2008 at 3:31 am
My husband and I were fixing his parents' computer and needed to check the sound. I turned on this pod-cast. This is the first thing my husband heard: "...is a lying douchebag who ought to be fired..." I thought he was going to die laughing.
Rob D. says:
August 11, 2008 at 6:29 am
Very funny Eric, I enjoyed the entire thing. I know what you mean about arguing with a Wal-Mart employee. I recently had a huge argument there. I had just came from eating and spotted my shirt. It was after midnight and I was supposed to meet this girl (doesn't happen that often). I was a 20 minute drive from my home and Wal-Mart was right there. It was the only place open so I had to try and get a normal shirt there (I little more dressy than a t-shirt). It was tough but I finally found a shirt that I would actually buy even if it wasn't an emergency. I take it up to the counter and it's not scanning. They call the manager over and she says that I can't buy the shirt because it is irregular and it shouldn't have been for sale. I'm like, I don't mind if it's irregular- I'll buy it anyway. She's like, well we can't scan it- so she can't sell it. I say, the tag says 12.99- can't you just put in miscellaneous with that amount. She says no, you can't have the shirt- nothing can be done. I get loud and throw 60 dollars down and say I'll pay whatever you want for it. She denied me and I was ready to leave the 60 bucks and run off with it........but I probably would have been arrested by their standards. I got really loud and threatened to make calls and get her fired. I never did go through with my threats.......and I cancelled my date.
David says:
August 12, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Eric, I recently read your column “Bike Curious” and am hoping to make the “angry letters” section with my response. As always, I enjoyed your column and learned a great deal from it, including the following:

A. I should not commute on my bike. Until reading your column, I regularly rode to and from work (30 miles round trip). I need to stop this immediately because I am approximately 30 years too old to do so and am clearly NOT Lance Armstrong. Here is a recent picture of me (http://www.ericdsnider.com/images/comiccontease.jpg).

B. Either my bike defies the laws of physics or Eric is a weakling coward who has never ridden a bike outside of his parents’ driveway since he was eight. I say this based on the fact that you noted bikes averaging 10mph and topping out at 15mph. I say this because on my commute yesterday I averaged 17.9 mph (16.8 to work uphill and 19.2 back). My bike topped out at nearly 40 mph, though I have gone faster on other occasions. I also have a faster acceleration through the first 10 mph than most cars. (Here I am thumping my chest with a surge of testosterone.)

Seriously though, there are a couple of points I’d like to make the non-cycling public aware of:
1. Bikes do NOT belong on the sidewalk unless they are being walked. If you are walking at 2 mph or even running at 5mph, you don’t want to collide with me when I am going 15. If you are running toward me, that is a 20 mph collision, while it is half that if we are moving in the same direction. This same simple fact is why bikes should move the same direction as other traffic and not the opposite.
2. Although it may seem like it when you are in a hurry, passing a cyclist carefully will not significantly impact your arrival time. If you don’t believe me, buy a Garmin and note that the estimated arrival time doesn’t change.
3. Roads are not the exclusive domain of motorized vehicles. Most bicyclists pay taxes and bicyclists have a legal right to ride on most roads.
4. Bicycle paths are designed by people who see bicycling as recreation and not as a way to get from one place to another. This is why bike paths wind around, even when they could be built in a straight line. When I ride with my 2-year-old in the trailer, I ride on bike paths. The same 15 mile ride from work turns into nearly a 20 mile ride. Don’t expect commuters trying to get to work on time to take the long way.
5. Bikes do NOT belong in the gutter. If you get out of your car and look at the shoulder, you will find that it is often filled with sewer gratings, parked cars, broken glass, and, here in Jersey, decomposing corpses of mob informants and other dead animals. For my part, I will move to the right as long as it is safe, so that you can get past me, but if I am not riding as far to the right as you would like, there is a reason for it. Yelling at me to get the f- off the road is not likely to make me more willing to move over.

As for disrobing in protest, it seems to me that the effectiveness of this depends on how much we want the protestor to keep his or her clothes on. Keep this in mind the next time you encounter a particularly hot cyclist. You should also keep in mind that I am a horribly disfigured and disgusting person--I’m certain that you will want to give me a wide berth on the road for fear that I will take my clothes off.
Q says:
August 12, 2008 at 4:02 pm
At first I found myself secretly wishing I was there to see the naked lady, then I wondered what the chances were of her being hot. Then I remembered she rode her bike to Wal-Mart.

Also, bikes are for dorks.

Just kidding, roller-blades are for dorks.
Kyralessa says:
August 16, 2008 at 5:03 pm
To add to what David said, note that

1) Bicycles do not pollute

2) Bicycles don't wear out the road like cars and trucks do

3) In many places it's actually *illegal* to ride a bicycle on the sidewalk...and it's always a bad idea, whether illegal or not

4) Bike paths can be OK, but bike lanes are often a Really Bad Idea; here in St Louis, the bike lanes run right next to on-street parking, which means that if you ride in the bike lane, you'll get injured if someone getting out of a parked cars opens his/her door.

5) Unfortunately, there are some cyclists who think it's OK to run red lights. As a cyclist, people like that piss me off. Though maybe they're all from Illinois, as I notice that people from Illinois turn into terrible drivers when they cross the Mississippi.

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Eric D. Snider