It's All True
Snide Remarks #195
"It's All True"
by Eric D. Snider
Published in The Daily Herald on August 8, 2001
The following bits of trivia are all TRUE! Please forward them via e-mail to every single person you have ever met.
Until 1992, no one had ever died within the state boundaries of Rhode Island.
Technically, a duck has no mouth. Its bill is considered a nose.
The most common murder weapon in the United States is not the gun or the knife, but the icepick.
The nursery rhyme "Little Miss Muffet" is a metaphor for the Black Plague, with the spider representing the plague and Miss Muffet representing England. It originated as a horror tale designed to scare children.
"Jaws" was the first movie to use the word "shark."
"King of Pop" Michael Jackson played Albert on "Little House on the Prairie."
To avoid paying income taxes, all one must do is write to the IRS and request to be taken off their list. The reason most people don't do this is that there is a lot of paperwork involved.
President William Howard Taft did not have any fingers.
"Hollywood" is the name of an African god. So when you say things like, "I wish 'Hollywood' would quit making so many filthy movies," you are blaming it on an actual deity and probably causing serious trouble for some Africans.
The jack-o'-lantern was named after Christian martyr St. Stephen.
Of the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence, only two are still living today.
Ludwig von Beethoven was black.
There is a secret nightclub under the Matterhorn at Disneyland where cockfights are held nightly. The city of Anaheim is powerless to stop them, because once you get 100 feet below street level, you're out of the city's jurisdiction.
Despite living in the ocean, dolphins are not fish. They are birds.
The reason you never see Muppets from the waist down is that they are naked.
Putting one of those "organ donor" stickers on your driver's license empowers the federal government to take organs from you even while you are still alive.
Gary Larson, creator of "The Far Side," also invented double-stick tape.
Johnny Carson was once suspended from TV for five days as punishment for saying "scoliosis" on the air.
If you watch "The Wizard of Oz" really closely, you can see a witch being killed by having water thrown on her.
It is against the law to speak Spanish in Switzerland, due to lingering resentment from the devastating Swiss-Mexican War (1889-1901).
Before he was famous, Adolf Hitler appeared as a contestant on "The Dating Game."
Due to an old Indian curse, every U.S. president elected in a year ending in "0" has had an ugly wife.
Fidel Castro's favorite TV show is "Friends." He almost appeared in a guest role for one episode, but the U.S. government nixed it. Scott Baio wound up playing the part instead.
"Alice in Wonderland" author Lewis Carroll used a pseudonym. His real name was Mark Twain.
In Monopoly, it is mathematically impossible to land on both Park Place and Boardwalk if you are the top hat.
Jesse James was a fictional character.
I'm not wearing pants.
Copyright © Eric D. Snider.
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