The Feeling Is Mutual

Snide Remarks #595

"The Feeling Is Mutual"

by Eric D. Snider

Published in EricDSnider.com on September 29, 2008

Dear Washington Mutual --

I have been a loyal customer of yours for 10 years, if loyalty is measured only in terms of not abandoning you for another bank. I have often considered doing this, usually when you have treated me with disrespect or apathy, but I've always reminded myself that another bank would probably treat me the same way, so why bother changing? So maybe I'm not a "loyal" customer so much as I'm a "resigned" customer, or a customer who has "given up."

At any rate, I'm writing to you because it seems that you are in desperate straits, and I want to point and laugh at your misfortune the way you have frequently pointed and laughed at mine.

Like many banks, you have been struggling because of the recent problems on Wall Street, which I do not pretend to understand. Well, that's not entirely accurate. I do pretend to understand them. I nod my head and frown thoughtfully when I read news articles about the crisis, but secretly I'm thinking about Hot Pockets, and how I would like to eat some.

Now comes the news that you, Washington Mutual, have FAILED! In fact, you are the biggest bank failure in HISTORY! Panicked customers withdrew $16.7 billion in just 10 days, making you no longer solvent, and the federal government had to step in and seize you. Then JPMorgan Chase purchased your entire company for a scant $1.9 billion. If no buyer had been found and you'd collapsed entirely, you would have nearly depleted the FDIC's insurance funds. In short, you are a burden on society and an embarrassment to the banking community. You are the Kevin Federline of banks.

You have no idea how delighted I am by this news. Your shareholders are wiped out, of course, but I'm not a shareholder. I merely have a checking account with you, the scant assets of which are safely insured by the FDIC no matter what JPMorgan Chase decides to do with you. Even if JPMorgan Chase turns every Washington Mutual branch into a homeless shelter for all your former employees, the money in my checking account is still safe.

You're probably feeling very reflective right about now, Washington Mutual. You're probably asking yourself, "Where did we go wrong?" A lot of people will blame your failure on the fact that for a few years there, you were giving out home mortgages the way the Special Olympics gives out medals. You were very promiscuous with those mortgages. You were giving them to people who obviously had no ability to repay them, people who didn't have jobs, or collateral, or last names. Someone would come in and say, "I'd like a mortgage, please," and you'd say, "Certainly, sir, what's your name?" And he would say, "Seymour. Seymour Butts." And you would say, "OK, Mr. Butts, here's your mortgage! Pay it back anytime you like!" And he'd be down the street before you realized it was a fake name, but you figured, hey, what the heck? Let ol' whatever-his-name-really-is have a mortgage!

So that's what most people will attribute your collapse to. You were too free with your money, you lent it to people who you knew could not repay it, and then, sure enough, they could not repay it. It's as obvious as it was completely preventable. But I think your failure is more attributable to something else. I think it's because of the way you have treated me, Eric D. Snider.

I get credit card offers in the mail all the time, including about three a week from you, Washington Mutual. Like all credit card offers, yours assure me that I am "pre-approved," a term that, at this point, fools no one. Surely by now everyone realizes that the pre-approval process merely involves learning someone's address. If you have an address and a mailbox, you are pre-approved.

How do I know that "pre-approved" doesn't mean anything? Because I have terrible credit. I ruined it in the folly of my youth. Even a cursory glance at my record would show that I should not be pre-approved for so much as a Target gift card, let alone a credit card. I shouldn't even be allowed to order food at a restaurant without paying for it up front. If I actually applied for one of these credit cards for which I am allegedly "pre-approved," I would be turned down. This is why I no longer have any credit cards. I don't want them, and even if I did, no bank would give them to me.

That being said, I'm pretty sure I could have still gotten a mortgage from you.

Anyway, none of this stops you, Washington Mutual, from sending me three credit card offers a week. It also does not stop you from having your tellers try to sell me a credit card every time I go into a branch. This is demeaning to the tellers, and I'm sure they hate it. They are reduced to making the same kind of pitch that fast-food employees are forced to make. ("Welcome to McDonald's, would you like to try the new McRib sandwich?" "Thanks for making a deposit, Eric, would you be interested in applying for a Washington Mutual MasterCard?")

Moreover, it seems a little curious to me that a bank -- an institution that is supposed to encourage financial prudence, careful investment, and economic wisdom -- is pimping credit cards. Credit cards encourage risky, unwise financial behavior. A bank trying to foist them upon its clients is like a doctor trying to sell his patients cigarettes.

The offers you send me in the mail must cost you a total of about a dollar a week in postage, not to mention the paper and printing. We'll say it's around two dollars all together. That's $104 a year that you might just as well have set on fire. Then, when I tear up the offers and mail them back to you in the postage-paid envelopes you provide, that costs you about another dollar a week. So we're looking at something like $150 a year that you spend in your attempts to give me a credit card -- a credit card that I'm NEVER GOING TO ACCEPT and that you WOULD NEVER ACTUALLY GIVE ME ANYWAY!

Washington Mutual, this is very irresponsible of you. Believe me, I'm a Generation-X American -- I know what irresponsible financial behavior looks like. In fact, you have frequently punished me for behavior far less reckless than that. Shall we discuss the incident of the Balance Transfer? YES. WE SHALL.

A few months ago, I had $350 in my Washington Mutual checking account, and I transferred $300 of it to my Paypal account. I do this sort of thing regularly, and it always takes about three business days for the transfer to be completed, don't ask me why. I mean, it's not like someone has to physically carry a sack of money from Washington Mutual to Paypal. There's not a stage coach conveying gold bars across the Indian-infested prairie.

Anyway, while the transfer was being processed, a check for $100 that I'd written months earlier and forgotten about finally went through, reducing my Washington Mutual balance from $350 to $250. It was too late to stop the Paypal thing, though, so when it came along the next day to take $300, you went ahead and gave it to them, thus overdrawing my account by $50 and allowing you to charge me a $35 penalty.

Obviously, this was my mistake. I had overlooked the $100 check. But it seems to me that if I try to transfer a balance of money that I don't actually have, something in your system should say, "Hey, wait a minute! You can't move $300 to Paypal! You don't HAVE $300!" If I had walked into a Washington Mutual branch and tried to withdraw $300, the teller would have said, "Actually, you only have $250. Did you know that this check cleared yesterday?" And I'd have said, "Oh, my stars! I did not! Thank you for alerting me!"

I explained all of this when I called your customer support and said I thought the overdraft fee should be reversed. If I had realized I only had $250, I wouldn't have withdrawn $300. Your people said that the system is set up this way because sometimes people WANT to overdraw their accounts. They know they only have $250, but they need $300, and it's important enough that they're willing to pay the $35 overdraft fee.

I said I could see how this would happen occasionally, but shouldn't there be something in the system that says, "Are you SURE you want to do this?"? Just as a courtesy to your customers, you know. Just to let 'em know that you're lookin' out for 'em. Of course, this would result in fewer overdraft fees being charged, which is probably why your people seemed baffled by the idea. It didn't make sense to them: Provide better customer care AND make less profit? That's a lose-lose scenario.

And now, guess what? You're a laughingstock. You had to be rescued, at a tremendous loss, by your former competitors at another bank. You were absurdly reckless with your money, and now nobody has any sympathy for you. How does it feel, jerkfaces? I hope that $35 you got from me helped tide you over!

Sincerely yours,

Eric D. Snider
Proud JPMorgan Chase customer since 2008

Comments & Reaction:

True fact: I was going to write about Washington Mutual's constant attempts to sell me a credit card anyway, and then the collapse happened and made the whole thing more timely. I appreciate Washington Mutual's consideration in failing just when it helped me the most.

I don't remember where I got the idea of tearing up credit card offers and mailing them back at the sender's expense, but I wasn't kidding when I said I do that. It's very therapeutic. I know it has no effect whatsoever, and that it's some poor sucker at the processing center who has to open an envelope containing a shredded credit card offer. Nonetheless, it makes me feel better.

Image source (and inspiration for the column title): the Internets. No idea who created it, but I'm glad to give credit if the original source contacts me.

SnideCast intro & outro: "Fidelity Fiduciary Bank," from the "Mary Poppins" original motion picture soundtrack.

This item has 62 comments

Speeding Slowly says:
September 29, 2008 at 7:08 am
The Kevin Federline of banks....ZING!
Dave the Slave says:
September 29, 2008 at 7:14 am
Great column! I have nothing but pure seething hatred for banks and their demon-spawn. I've never been a WaMu customer, (due solely to their insultingly asenine commercials where the hip Barack Obama-lookin dude is always telling the crotchety old white "Bankers" whats-what) but since every bank is an evil, puss-filled venom sack of bile, each worse than the last, it feels good to rip on any of 'em!

Of coarse theres nothing to be happy about, when banks start goin' belly-up...

:-/
annette S. Brown says:
September 29, 2008 at 7:39 am
Very good letter to WM ,Eric.
I ,having become a person of little faith , sold the few shares of bank stocks I had ,before the roof fell in .However, for some crazy reason thatmust have made sense [to me] at the time, I made an exception with my WM shares., and now have to face the music, [pretty horrible music it is]since it's all gone.

I blame the banks but I even more blame the CEOs and bank big shots, who walked away with millions and millions of our money , given to them as rewards and bonuses for screwing up the their banks and the country. They should first of all ,give their millions back ,and secondly , they should go to jail ,immediately , without first passing GO and collecting 200.
But no, they are continuing and getting paid obscene amounts for doing more harm!

It's unbelievable !!

annette
knightmare says:
September 29, 2008 at 8:56 am
First off, no offense meant annette, but commas are like strong spice--you should use them sparingly. Eek.

I work in Freddies, which means there's a WaMu in my store. On the first day of the purchase, WaMu debit and credit cards weren't working, which was tons of fun! I haven't seen any issues since then, though.

They were in the break room trying to force accounts on us not too long ago. I always refuse, not only because I'm in much the same boat as you, Eric, but also because when we first moved to OR, my father-in-law gave us a check to help with moving expenses drawn on a WaMu bank. The WaMu bank here refused to cash it. Their stunning logic? Although it was a WaMu check, drawn on a WaMu account, it was from another state (CA) and they couldn't verify funds.

What goes around comes around.
Tyler! says:
September 29, 2008 at 11:07 am
Annette S. Brown uses odd punctuation and capitalization. Like a jerk, I just wanted to point that out.

Anyways, this was a very fun column for me. Like Dave, I'm pretty fed up with banks in general and their poor customer service. And, like Eric, I'm glee with the fact that I can now point and laugh at a few of them for getting their come-up-ins. But then, like everyone else, I'm sad that we're in a mini-great-depression.

I'm very conflicted. But at least I used good punctuation and capitalization.
elsalgal says:
September 29, 2008 at 11:11 am
"I mean, it's not like someone has to physically carry a sack of money from Washington Mutual to Paypal."

Hilarious mental image! Between the junk mail--credit card offers included--and all the political whining, I am SO GLAD to be living overseas!
mistytsim says:
September 29, 2008 at 11:40 am
Tyler! does not know how to spell "comeuppance," and I'd like to point that out.

Eric, "PayPal" is the correct spelling.

I'd be freaking out if I were in the same situation. Now I'm wondering when my bank is going to fail.

Love that shirt, though.
O'MAllen says:
September 29, 2008 at 11:41 am
elsalgal, you shouldn't be happy about living overseas - it takes longer for your balance transfer to occur because the money has to cross a whole ocean before it can get to paypal.
John Doe says:
September 29, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Actually, what sucks about living overseas is the fact that banks charge you for living overseas.

"What? You want access to your own money? That will be $10 per transaction." Sometimes it makes me wonder if life would be better to keep cash on me at all times and avoid the banks altogether. At least there's no chance for them to charge me fees.

I guess I'm with everyone when it comes to hating banks. They get so much money charging fees these days that it's crazy. That's on top of all the other money they make from loans and credit cards and such.

I've heard a lot of folks do the pre-paid envelope thing Eric talked about. In fact, they put other junk mail in these and send them to the bank. Perhaps someday, someone at these banks will figure out how much money is wasted on these things. But that's me and wishful thinking again.
Braden says:
September 29, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I've heard the whole tear-up-the-junk-mail-and-send-it-back idea from someone before and thought about it, but have never acted on it. Maybe I'll start doing it now.

Oh, and the person who first told me about it said that he wouldn't stop with returning thier offer, either. He would mix in other junkmail and occasionally bits and pieces of other sundry items that he had laying around the house just to liven things up.
Robert R says:
September 29, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Great column! I am a little sad about WaMu's demise, though it appears I wallow alone in my sadness (haters, all of you!). I don't like being associated with anything described as one of the largest failures in history!

My fee fight story: Before I switched to high-yield online savings, I got charged a $33 fee by WaMu. When I called in about it, I was told I could only make six electronic transfers (in or out) per month. In other words, there would be a fee for transferring money from my checking to my savings (essentially a deposit!). I found this to be ridiculous.

I thought I was the only one who sent back shreds in those postage-paid envelopes. Good for us.
Fig says:
September 29, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Such behavior is by no means limited to WaMu. I've been a teller at three different banks, and I was always reduced to peddling credit cards like sandwiches, and had my share of arguments about overdraft fees.

I love "customer who has 'given up'." Also, I will be getting much more use out of postage-paid return envelopes now.
Chocolatestu says:
September 29, 2008 at 2:00 pm
ElSalGal actually doesn't have to worry about extra fees for living overseas - she banks with USAA (which is pretty much the only decent bank I've ever found). Being a military and government bank, they deal with people overseas a LOT and are very good about it. If you're wondering how I know this about ElSalGal, it's because she's my mother.

Great article, Eric. I've had my own struggles with banks (Wells Fargo), and it's nice to see some of my frustrations put into writing, even if it's directed at a different demon bank. It's nice to be able to laugh at them.
Neil says:
September 29, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Robert - federal regulations do limit you to 6 withdrawals per month, but limiting deposits is just abnormal.

As for WaMu, I remember thinking many moons ago that I would join them. I had friends who were members and they loved the service that they received both at the branches and over the phone/web/magic fairy dust. Now, I look back at my failure to do so and can only wonder why I waited so long to leave big commercial banks in general (BoA in my case) for the wonderment that is USAA.

I do feel bad that this article is already out of date with the Citi takeover of Wachovia. So much for saving a buck with every transaction.
Jennifer says:
September 29, 2008 at 2:40 pm
I don't use banks; I use a credit union that's relatively friendly. Once when I did the overdraft oops, I went to them and acknowledged my mistake and they credited the overdraft fee back to my account. Hooray for credit unions that let you repent!
Neal (the correct way) says:
September 29, 2008 at 2:44 pm
@Tyler!: ah yes, you used good capitalization and punctuation, but what about spelling and grammar? Try "full of glee" and "comeuppance" for starters . . . and you typed "anyways." Seriously?
Marc says:
September 29, 2008 at 2:56 pm
"Then, when I tear up the offers and mail them back to you in the postage-paid envelopes you provide, that costs you about another dollar a week"

Try putting something heavier in the envelope...like a brick. Who knows, maybe they would have to pay for the additional weight. An interesting experiment to try with the potential for comedy gold, and it would make them think twice about sending envelopes to your apartment.
Aaron says:
September 29, 2008 at 2:58 pm
@Robert R.

That's actually a result of a Federal Law. There are legal restrictions on "Savings" accounts that limit the number of withdrawals to 6 per month - at least, that's what my bank told me. I supposed their customer service rep could have lied. It wouldn't be the first time.

Funny that everyone has had a hard time with Wamu. I banked there for 4 years, and thought their customer service was exemplary. It must have been just at that small town branch in Eastern Washington.
Angus McFarland says:
September 29, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I love the idea of shredding their mail and sending it back to them in their envelope. Definitely something I'm going to start doing.
LamaniteDancer says:
September 29, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Wow. I totally do the tear-up-the-offer-and-mail-it-back-thing too. Extremely satisfying.
Randy Tayler says:
September 29, 2008 at 4:01 pm
After hearing how many of you tear it up and send it back, I'm disappointed that nothing decent results from it.

Maybe I'll start by just sending back empty envelopes. Or maybe mixing the offers up, and sending back offers to the wrong company. Ooh! Or maybe writing Alzheimer-esque letters. "Dearest Mary, it was so good to hear from you again. When will you be returning? The doctors say I can get outside for a bit tomorrow, which would be the bees' knees."
Byrd Brain says:
September 29, 2008 at 4:01 pm
The happy take-away I have from Washington Mutual failing is that there will be no more stupid commercials with that smug black guy who knows everything while his mere presence seems to infuriate the group of nasty white men who reperesent the status-quo. It's as if the Democratic party based its shot at this presidential election on these commercials...

I am now gong to start sending shredded credit card offers back to their senders. Thank you Eric. Thank you.
Michael Christenson says:
September 29, 2008 at 4:12 pm
I've been returning the shredded remnants of unwanted offers for a while now, and you're right, it is oddly therapeutic.

Sometimes if I'm in a particularly foul mood I'll throw in some extra trash, like a popsicle wrapper or something. Send me your garbage, and I'll send you mine.
eneyone says:
September 29, 2008 at 4:29 pm
"A bank trying to foist them upon its clients is like a doctor trying to sell his patients cigarettes. "

Both of which make perfect sense financially. The bank and the doctor generate more business for themselves. Sounds like a win-win situation!

@Neal (the correct way) and Tyler!: It's called Muphry's law and is a well know phenomenon.
Lane says:
September 29, 2008 at 4:55 pm
"Even if JPMorgan Chase turns every Washington Mutual branch into a homeless shelter for all your former employees" - very funny. One of my co-workers was inspired to start reading your column because I read that part out loud.
Scotty says:
September 29, 2008 at 5:19 pm
MEGA-DITTO Eric! I am a former WaMu customer myself and trust me I share your pain and your sentiments! Thanks for letting me relish, vicariously, this roast on WaMu!
Christina D says:
September 29, 2008 at 5:40 pm
I too am going to start sending back the offers in the prepaid envelopes. Maybe we can make something change if enough of us do it. :) And Randy, I think your idea as far as Alzheimer's letters is awesomely funny. That'll make the service center letter openers feel so sad.

As far as banks go, I used to bank with BoA, but I was soooo sick of their sneaky fees and crap that once I moved to Utah, I quit them and joined Deseret First credit union.... and I would never go back. Credit unions are so awesome. The only reason I didn't join one before was that I thought you had to go to that specific credit union to make deposits to your account, but it turns out that almost all credit unions like each other and will deposit/withdraw money into/from other credit union's accounts for you! For free! And they're so helpful and nice and they don't try to sell you things... And they have low interest rates on everything. I love my credit union. :)

Also, you can set up an emergency line of credit, so that if you overdraft from your checking, and you don't have any money in savings, they'll lend you the money temporarily and there is no overdraft fee. Otherwise, if you overdraft from checking and have money in savings, they'll pull the extra money from savings for you... which banks (or at least BofA) will NOT do (which makes no sense at all to me).
treen says:
September 29, 2008 at 5:41 pm
*sigh* Switch WaMu for Wachovia and JPMorgan for Citibank, and you've got my banking situation. Except Citibank isn't any better than Wachovia because they're holding my husband's student loans hostage. They STILL haven't coughed up the (approved) loan money for his summer classes, let alone his fall semester.
Keri Brooks says:
September 29, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Absolutely hilarious! I banked at Washington Mutual for five years. I've had that very same overdraft fee conversation. I even got a nasty letter from them once threatening to close my account because a check cleared too early. This was my first overdraft ever, and I had had my account for three years. The letter arrived after I had already deposited money to cover the difference.

About a year ago, I lost my wallet, so I had to cancel all of my cards. Most of my cards came promptly, within 3-5 business days. My ATM card, however, still hadn't arrived after 3 weeks. I called again to find out what had happened and they said to wait another week. (Um, hello. Even the DMV did better than that.) A few days later, it came. I tried to activate the card and it wasn't valid. I took it into the bank to see what they could do, and apparently they had, without telling me when I called, reported it lost and issued me a new one. I was totally fed up and closed my account. I walked up the road to Citibank and have been a happy customer ever since.
Marc F. says:
September 29, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Randy, pure comedic gold looks like this, "The doctors say I can get outside for a bit tomorrow, which would be the bees' knees." I laughed out loud. Eric may have some competition.

One twist on the shredded credit card offers trick would be to shred the card that you already have from that bank and send it back to them. Then, they'd be forced to send you another, hopefully better, offer.
Christi says:
September 29, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Here's a tip from someone who was once "some poor sucker at the processing plant" (although for a magazine subscription service, not a bank): instead of sending back the shredded-up application, send a joke, or a silly picture, or anything that makes you smile (I like Randy's Alzheimer's letter idea). It provides the same small form of rebellion at the sender, with the added possibility of making the poor shlub in the mail room's day just a little bit better. (A lot of people also send Chick Tracts and conspiracy theory pamphlets which always made me laugh too, although that probably wasn't the intention.)
Jane says:
September 29, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Preach it Christi. Those of you who put trash or shredded paper in the return envelope and send it back, please keep in mind that this accomplishes NOTHING except for making some minimum-wage employee's miserable job even miserabler. I don't care if it's therapeutic for you. You might as well kick your dog for therapy- the person who has to open that envelope has nothing to do with the decision to send you junk mail.

And don't snap at store cashiers at Christmastime either. They can't help it that their overlords keep the stores understaffed and the lines are long!

(Bitter? Me? No, I haven't been working low-level customer service jobs for the past five years; why do you ask?)
Steve says:
September 29, 2008 at 8:00 pm
I'm somewhat ignorant here (and too lazy to look stuff up), but I get kind of tired of people freaking out about the economy based on the stock market and the financial sector. What I want to know are the following two things: What is happening to the unemplyment rate and what is happening to consumer prices? If those two things are stable or even going down, then who really gives a flip about the numbers on Wall Street? Sure a lot of people may have lost their jobs, but as long as they can find new jobs, they can still put food on the table.

You can argue that the numbers on Wall Street affect those two things, but having been a working-class Joe for the past ten years (which includes the late-90s tech bubble), I have seen Wall Street numbers all over the map and I have not seen unemployment and consumer prices fluctuate in any appreciable manner. I just don't see a strong correlation here.

Now I am not saying that unemployment and consumer prices are stable NOW; as I said, I am too lazy to look the numbers up. But I just wish that the news outlets would focus on the numbers that really matter. Tell me if the job market is drying up, because that affects me. Tell me if commodoties are going to cost more, because that affects me. Try to freak me out because Dow Jones fell by 347 points, and I'm thinking, "yeah, so what's your point?"
Ampersand says:
September 29, 2008 at 8:51 pm
I bank at a credit union. Go me. However, with the stock market in the toilet these days it's just too painful to look at my 401(k) statement. So I don't. Good thing I'm not retiring for another 40 years...
Homeless People Smell says:
September 29, 2008 at 9:22 pm
My favorite part: "Even if JPMorgan Chase turns every Washington Mutual branch into a homeless shelter for all your former employees, the money in my checking account is still safe."

I recently moved to a new city and opened a new bank account (not WaMu and not Chase). I visited a branch on the other side of town for the first time today and was surprised to find that the front door was locked. I was surprised because it was 12:30 p.m. on a non-holiday Monday. Then, I noticed the sign on the door that said customers could only use the drive-up services. No walk-in services were available at that particular location, even though it looked like any other branch, with lots of office space and plenty of parking. That's when I noticed that this branch was unfortunately situated at the crossroads of a homeless shelter, tattoo parlor, liquor store, gas station, and a Wendy's.

I'm guessing the bank found itself dealing with a lot of homeless customers and decided to keep them out for good. So, if you don't have a car you can't bank there.

So, apparently money is not safe in a bank with lots of homeless people. Or maybe it's just the other customer's safety that is at issue.

Either way, it is a funny mental image. I remember the WaMu branch near the bus station at the University Mall in Orem and the mere association of the two made me decide to bank elsewhere. Good riddance to WaMu.
Lachlen says:
September 29, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Well, seeing as how there was once this little worldwide crisis called the Great Depression which started with the U.S. stock market crashing, you might see why people like tracking that number.
Adrienne says:
September 29, 2008 at 9:36 pm
I am with Chase who seems to be buying every bank that is folding currently, but I am inspired by Eric and will take my pitiful little paycheck and go elsewhere! Chase canceled my debit card because someone that was so obviously NOT me tried to put a naughty charge through. They canceled my card without notice which was embarrasing when I was buying hamburger rolls and lettuce for $6.25 but that is another tale. So when I contacted them they were kind enough to send me another card which was going to take 5-10 days, that was 45 days ago. I called them recently to inquire the status and a "nice" gentleman with a heavy accent told me to pound sand, that my new debt card was mailed and if I don't have it, cry to my mommy.

Any people are going to wonder why our $700 billion bailout didn't pass...
Gwyn says:
September 29, 2008 at 10:29 pm
What's with all the English police? Seriously.

My dear friends, I believe the time has come for me to leave my native America and move to France (if they'll take me) or some other cushy country. America has managed to strangle and die on the combined practices of preditory lending and blind stupidity. Plus, the French have far better chocolate.
Phil Cardenas says:
September 29, 2008 at 10:47 pm
I'm much like Aaron--I haven't had a problem with WaMu since I switched to them from Bank of America (formally known as SATAN) 10 years ago. WaMu has usually been very friendly, and last time that I went to one of their branches, they REFUNDED an overdraft fee. Believe it or not, I even started a savings account with them ($100.00, not that it's any of your business). I live in San Antonio (home of USAA, by the way) and they tend not to have as many aggressive tellers. They are usually friendly, nice folks. I am disappointed that Chase is now their sugardaddy, though. I'm not sure how it will affect me yet. Perhaps a federal credit union is in my future...

Oh, and Gwyn, take me with you. And my wife, too. I'm fluent dans le francais et je peux traduire. If you'd like.
Ryan says:
September 30, 2008 at 12:20 am
I have a WaMu (woo-hoo!) credit card. I wish that due to WaMu failing, I was absolved of the debt. After all, I made no such contract with JP Morgan Chase and have no desire to have a credit card with them. I never liked JP Morgan's business tactics or Chevy Chase's late night talk show. Why would I want to bank with either of them?
David Manning says:
September 30, 2008 at 12:24 am
This is a true story.

Many years ago, my uncle kept getting credit card offers in the mail from some company. He had contacted them many times before, telling them to stop, on the grounds that he'd never accept the offer anyway, and they were just bugging him. Of course they never did. One day, he decided enough was enough. When he got another one in a prepaid envelope, he cut off the back side of the envelope with the name of the company and symbol ensuring prepaid postage, and glued it onto a very large cardboard box that he had filled with bricks and covered in standard brown wrapping paper. He dropped it off at the post office, and to this day has never heard from the company since.
Sean says:
September 30, 2008 at 2:04 am
Phil, where do you live in San Antonio? I'm in SA too. But I am not special enough to bank with USAA, being a civilian.

I left Wells Fargo years ago after I got tired of their idiocy. We've been with Bank of America now for about five years, and they've actually been good to us. In fact, just this week, my wife overdrew our account after recording a charge wrong, and they reversed it. We also have an ccount with a tiny credit union (with like 4 employees). They are super nice and helpful, but they have only one branch, and it's not anywhere near our home.
Rob D. says:
September 30, 2008 at 2:16 am
So about 8 years ago I got 500 dollars put in my Wells Fargo savings account in error. In Monopoly, you get to keep bank errors, so I decided I was allowed to gamble with that money (I live in Vegas). I was shocked when I found out this was against their rules. So I paid a collection's agency back in a few months and they put me on chexx systems which means I couldn't get a bank account for an odd number of years. I think I was being punished too hard for this. I recently got another savings account at Wells Fargo. Now they offer me credit cards every time I go to a teller. A few years ago they treated me like a criminal, lol.
Jenn says:
September 30, 2008 at 3:36 am
Oh, amen Brother Snider!!! I joined WaMu last year, & should have had a clue that it was not going to be a happy union when I couldn't get a debit card for the first two months I had the account. I kept hearing "Well, we mailed it to you, I don't know why you didn't get it." I finally got one & it wouldn't work, because apparently I had requested too many debit cards & so they thought it was stolen. Then they would hold my direct deposit for over 24 hours, just to make sure it would clear. That's fine, except that they wouldn't deposit it until after several checks had hit the account, thereby ensuring a nice fat check bouncing fee for them. I would complain & they'd say that they were checks from the day before.(when I could understand the person on the other line!) When I'd point out that the date on the transactions were all the same, I'd get told "Well, that's what I have here on my screen. They were from the day before." I had some checks bouncing on my account that were basically unauthorized, & I called to get them stopped. They told me that since they were online transactions, they couldn't be stopped, but they could freeze my account until I got it straightend out. Three weeks later, I find out that not only did they not freeze my account, but the girl I talked to on the phone wasn't authorized to promise that either, & that I needed to cough up $1500 in bounced check fees. So I was laughing when I heard they were going under!
ClobberGirl says:
September 30, 2008 at 3:56 am
Best. Snide. Remarks. EVER. I think I'll pimp it on my blog and send all of my 2 readers your way, Eric.

I've banked with WaMu since 2001 and I have many tales of their incompetence and unfriendliness, but I'll save those for my blog.
Morgan865 says:
September 30, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I was once told that mailing back credit card offers is like responding to spam, it's all done electronically and just lets them know it's a valid address. A much more effective solution is to call the Do Not Contact number. I did this a couple years ago and I don't get the credit card offers any more. Yay! Direct from the FTC website:
The national credit bureaus offer a toll-free number that enables consumers to opt-out of all pre-approved credit offers with just one phone call. Call 1-888-5-OPTOUT (1-888-567-8688) for more information. (http://www.ftc.gov/privacy/protect.shtm)

Also, I love my local credit union! So friendly and the tellers never try to sell me anything! Regions just bought our car loan and I hate them. You can't make an electronic payment unless you have a checking account with them, so I have to go to the branch every month and listen to a sales pitch about why I should bank with them.
bexdfw says:
September 30, 2008 at 3:24 pm
The tellers at my WaMu also offered credit cards like sandwiches. One day, I got tired of the "you need to build your credit" spiel and told them, "You mean you want me to get a credit card so you can arbitrarily hike my interest rate to make up for your massive subprime losses?" He looked a little uncomfortable and told me to have a nice day. Lol.
Notaturkeybone says:
September 30, 2008 at 4:21 pm
We opened a WaMu savings account several years ago because they were giving out free money ($100) to do so. It was supposed to be linked to the checking account and, supposedly, if the checking account was overdrawn, the money would be taken directly from the savings account, without incurring an overdraft fee.

At the time WaMu was heavily advertising their no fee checking with radio commercials mocking other banks that charge you for talking to a teller, using the ATM, etc. They claimed to have the only honest-to-goodness no fee checking on the planet. So, we wrote a couple of checks on the checking account, even though we'd never put any money in it, figuring that it was all the same since WaMu would just take the money out of the savings account WITH NO FEE.

Imagine my surprise when I went to close the savings account and the balance was $60 less than I had expected. WaMu had charged me three $20 fees for overdrawing the checking account. Well, they called it a transfer-convenience fee. Whatever. It was a mockery of their own free checking commercials.

Oh, and all the tellers always looked like they were dressed to go to the beach. Is a collared-shirt too much to ask for from my banker?
cinncinnatus says:
September 30, 2008 at 5:20 pm
I liked banking with Washington Mutual. Never had much of a problem with them except when you move states, they can't find your old account in their system because it's like each Wamu in each state is it's own separate company. I also didn't understand and couldn't every get an answer as to why their savings accounts were only offering 0.5% at a time when ING and others were offering 4% or higher.
Brett says:
September 30, 2008 at 5:43 pm
I also send back credit card offers in the pre-paid envelopes but I'm a nerd, so instead of tearing them up I affix a pre-printed label that instructs them to remove me from their mailing lists.

Surprisingly, this actually reduced the number of credit card offers I get to a small trickle.

But, I'm now thinking that tearing up the offer and then sending it back WOULD be much more therapeutic. I'll have to reconsider my nerd tendencies.

p.s. I too am a "resigned" bank customer. The bank on the receiving end of my apathy is Wells Fargo. If they fail, I will bake a cake and invite over all my friends.
Phil Cardenas says:
September 30, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Sean, I live on the northeast side of San Antonio, I-35 and Topperwein exit, on a street called Topper Ridge. In case you (and everyone else reading this) want to drop by.
Turkey says:
September 30, 2008 at 10:24 pm
I'm glad they failed because now I won't be subjected to those awful commercials anymore.
Red says:
September 30, 2008 at 11:54 pm
Holy cow! I just got a credit card offer from WaMu in the mail today. I wonder, should I apply and see what happens?
Jim says:
October 1, 2008 at 2:14 am
Brave good sir - a good laugh and a triumph!
Josh says:
October 1, 2008 at 3:15 pm
For anyone still reading, I just saw on CNN.com that the latest CEO of WaMu was on the job for 18 days and earned a $7.5 million signing bonus and a $6 million severance. All that for driving a bank to the ground in 18 days. (http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2008/fortune/0809/gallery.ceos_banking.fortune/index.html)
JJ says:
October 1, 2008 at 6:37 pm
It seems Mr. Snider has hit a nerve. Sharing WaMu horror stories in this support group must be oddly therapeutic.
Amp says:
October 1, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Thanks for the link, Josh. It's no wonder most people are rabidly opposed to the Wall Street bailout.
elsalgal says:
October 2, 2008 at 9:48 am
Actually, O'MAllen, the only transfers I ever do are within my accounts or my kids' accounts--all at the same bank. So they just have to walk the bag of money across the vault. Its really very quick. I actually like my bank. (So far.)
elsalgal says:
October 2, 2008 at 10:11 am
@42 Sean

I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure you don't have to be military to bank with USAA. I believe that they limit their insurance to military and dependents, but the bank is open to anybody. And I really do like them. They have always been fair and friendly to us.
Katie says:
October 4, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Bahaha...hot pockets. I love those things.
Alexie says:
June 2, 2009 at 5:19 am
I'd love to plagarize your letter and send it to my bank accounts that went under. You are so funny! Imagine the face of the manager reading it.... priceless.

As for credit, sheesh, I'm in the same boat as you (youth folly... etc) I plan to send back the offers as well.

I'm so tired of being extorted. $35 nsf fees! I just paid one today! They could have put it through and not charged an nsf, I know they could see my direct deposit about to post.... It's like getting tagged as your sliding into home base... Yuuuuuur Out!

My beautiful HARD earned funds passed around like a reverse church plate, paying bonuses and salary increases for people who mistreat and patronize me.

So I'm not anal about account activity! You're the experts! Help Us! Watch out for Us I say! Banks Suck really..

I did just join USAA through a relative in the service, let's see if it is really as good as reported. I'm sorry but my cynicism is pretty rank lately. -Alexie
barry says:
June 2, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I thought after Oregon Trail that everyone knew that banking was by far the most profitable business to be in. Think of all the extra oxen you could purchase with those user fees and such!

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