Eric D. Snider

The Internet Reacts to the Upcoming Film Version of 'The Wizard of Oz,' 1939

Snide Remarks #640

"The Internet Reacts to the Upcoming Film Version of 'The Wizard of Oz,' 1939"

by Eric D. Snider

Published on August 29, 2011

Meh.

I can't believe they're rebooting this franchise.

Ugh, they're shooting some of it in color? So tired of that gimmick. It gives me a headache.

They changed Dorothy's silver shoes to ruby slippers!! It's like they're TRYING to ruin my childhood!!

Oh, thanks, Variety, for the big fat spoiler. I guess now I don't have to see the movie to know there's a talking scarecrow in it.

L. Frank Baum is spinning in his grave over how fat Judy Garland is.

I don't care what the haters say, TWOO looks epic. Judy Garland is hot, the action scenes look incredible. This is gonna be a favorite for decades, especially for heterosexual men.

The definitive motion picture adaptation of this novel is Chadwick Pictures' 1925 silent version. I am doubtful that Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer will improve upon that, though I suspect the current generation of cinematic morons will think they have.

omg i love this book!!! i hope they dont ruin it!!! i bet it will be good because ray bolger is HOTTT!!

Toto is supposed to be a Yorkshire Terrier, not a Cairn Terrier! Did no one read the book??

Typical Hollywood political correctness, going out of their way to find jobs for a bunch of filthy midgets while regular-size people are unemployed.

I'm amazed MGM is releasing it with the tornado still looking that fake.

Whoever did the creature design on the flying monkeys should be fired. The wings are too small to lift them off the ground! Embarrassing.

Boycott this movie!! It is unfair in its portrayal of witches!! THEY DO NOT DIE FROM WATER, THAT IS STUPID!!

Lions and tigers and bears, oh meh.

I'm not interested in movies about people from Kansas, and this teaser-trailer isn't changing my mind. Fail.

"Gone with the Wind" is gonna blow this lame book and its lame movie out of the water. Rhett Butler is way hotter than the stupid Tin Man anyway! #teamrhett

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This item has 21 comments

  1. Ken says:

    Do I get the feeling you were just a wee bit short on time this week Eric?

  2. Argus_Skyhawk says:

    This was short, but awesome.

  3. Marc says:

    "Toto is supposed to be a Yorkshire Terrier, not a Cairn Terrier! Did no one read the book??"

    You know what's sad about this is that I've actually seen people whine about something like this recently.

    It was for the Game of Thrones show on HBO. Several commenters loudly complained that the wolf in the show shouldn't have barked, because he was silent in the book. Seriously.

  4. Azadeh says:

    That was awesome.
    One of the best Snide Remarks to date.

    PS. I'm a Harry Potter fan and this was a great at least for my kind :D

  5. Nick Perkins says:

    Why does the wicked witch have green skin? I shall purchase a pair of those "Victor Fleming raped my childhood" dungarees at the flea market forthwith!

  6. Elain Witt says:

    OK, I NEVER get any product that is blatantly promoted in a film. It's a matter of principle. Reeses Pieces? Off my list since ET.

    But then I totally flipped out after seeing TWOO. I bought my very own pair of truly ruby slippers. They sparkle. They hurt. But they are so perfect. I couldn't help myself. For just one moment in time: I am Dorothy.

  7. Momma Snider says:

    Slightly off-topic, but I've always found it remarkable that two of the biggest classic movies of all time were both produced in 1939, when not much else that was praiseworthy was going on in the world.

  8. Strude says:

    "Typical Hollywood political correctness, going out of their way to find jobs for a bunch of filthy midgets while regular-size people are unemployed."

    I laughed... loud. Co-workers stared.

  9. Alaska Boy says:

    I laughed--but I almost cried thinking how true your satire rings. The Internet would have ruined SO MANY classic films, and the banality of these kinds of fan-boy ravings bodes ill for the future of our civilization.

    We can only hope that our current economic woes manages to produce something of the creative magnitude of the depression-era films. Not that that would be anything more than a silver lining...

  10. David Manning says:

    Have to say, didn't even smile once when I read this. I understand how this could be funny, but instead, my reaction was just, "Yep, that's how people on the Internet talk".

  11. Kamis says:

    I'm sick of all those midgets and minorities stealing my jobs ...

  12. Lobo Oz says:

    To Momma Snyder: Didn't WWII start in 1939? I don't know how worthwhile it was but it did make all the papers.

  13. Momma Snider says:

    Lobo, that's what I meant. WWII was big news, for sure, but not praiseworthy. It seems like everything in the world was kind of gloomy and doomy, and here were these two wonderful classic movies that we're still talking about (and watching) today. Of course we're still talking about Hitler, too, but not in a good way.

  14. Eric D. Snider says:

    So you're saying there's a difference between "praiseworthy" and "newsworthy"? What about between "Snyder" and "Snider"?

  15. Duke of Earl Grey says:

    Ebsen forever! Haley never! Ebsen forever! Haley never!

  16. Huston says:

    Films also released in 1939: The Grapes of Wrath, Wuthering Heights, Stagecoach, and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. The first two are kind of gloom and doomy, but the second two are also uplifting and high-spirited.

  17. dddrum says:

    What? Water melts the wicked witch?? Thanks LOADS, pal! Hey! SOYLENT GREEN IS PURPLE! Ha! So there. Howdoya like that, huh?

    What?

    PEOPLE??? Awww! Thanks a LOT, fella!!

  18. Clumpy says:

    @Momma Snider

    It's also pretty fascinating to me that "Casablanca" takes place during about the same time it was actually produced. Interesting to note that the movie was rushed to release in order to capitalize on the Allied invasion of North Africa. I find it funny to consider the way that things like marketing and buzz applied during the War, and the movie's subtext gives a little more weight to that "trapped American expatriate" feel.

  19. Rob D. says:

    I think the Wizard of Oz should be remade today and played by the cast of Jersey Shore. Snooki (the shortest) could play Dorothy. The dumbest one (Ronnie?) could be the scarecrow. The Situation could be the Tin Man. Pauly D should probably be The Lion. The wicked witch should be J Wow. The good witch could be played by Alyssa Milano. The wizard should be James Gandolfini. When they meet up with the wizard they can ask for hair products, tanning gift certificates, gym memberships etc. I'm half kidding but I honestly with all my heart think it would make a bunch of money on a low budget.

  20. Beth says:

    I love you.

  21. card says:

    TEAM SCARECROW!

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