The General Authorities Song (3rd version)



There’s Gordon Hinckley, Thomas Monson,
James E. Faust and Eugene Hansen,
Richard Clarke, F. Burton Howard,
Loren Dunn, M. Russell Ballard,

Dean L. Larsen, Kree-L Kofford,
David Haight and John H. Groberg,
Carlos Amado is the raddest,
Carlos Asay — Emeritus status,

L. Tom Perry, Ronald Poelman,
Claudio Costa, Gary Coleman,
Spencer Condie, Dallin Oaks,
Boyd K. Packer don’t tell no jokes,

Porter, Bruce and Porter, Aldin,
Marlin K. and Jay E. Jensen,
Dallas Archibald, Dallas Merrell,
William Kerr and Hillam, Harold,

Keith McMullin, Kwok Yuen Tai,
Yoshihiko Kikuchi,
Dennis Simmons, Lowell Wood,
Cecil Samuelson is good.

Ben B. Banks and Robert Hales,
Jeffrey Holland never fails,
John J. Carmack, Sheldon Child,
Vaughn J. Featherstone is mild,

John E. Fowler, James O. Mason,
Angel Abrea, Russell Nelson,
David Burton, Merrill Bateman,
Glen L. Pace is a great man,

Enzio Busche, John B. Dickson,
William Bradford, Lance B. Wickman,
John M. Madsen, Augusto Lin,
Then D. Todd Christofferson,

Alexander Morrison,
David E. Sorensen,
Joe J. Christensen,
Andrew W. Peterson,

Neil Anderson, Neal Maxwell,
Dieter Uchtdorf knows his facts well,
Robert K. Dellenbach,
Melvin Hammond, Gene R. Cook,

Then there’s Dennis B. Neuenschwander —
Whatever your name is, his is longer —
Joseph Wirthlin, Richard Wirthlin,
Who’s the Apostle? Well, the first one,

Rex D. Pinegar, David Stanley,
Richard Edgley sure is manly,
Jack H. Goaslind, Monte Brough,
Lionel Kendrick’s hangin’ tough,

Lynn A. Mickelsen, Craig Zwick,
Charles Didier’s hair is slick,
Henry Eyring, Richard Scott,
They’re Apostles; you are not,

Lino Alvarez, Bruce C. Hafen,
Kenneth Johnson has me ravin’,
Don Ladd is very regal,
Francisco Viñas es mi amigo,

Quentin Cook and Edward Brown,
How I wish I could slow down,
Jerald Taylor, Earl Tingey,
My vocal chords begin to sting-y,

Hugh Pinnock, Robert Wells,
James Paramore, Max Caldwell,
Give ’em a hand now, if you please,
These are the General Authorities!