The General Authorities Song (4th version)


There’s Gordon Hinckley, Thomas Monson,
James E. Faust and Eugene Hansen,
Richard Clarke, F. Burton Howard,
Loren Dunn, M. Russell Ballard,

Dean L. Larsen, Kree-L Kofford,
David Haight and John H. Groberg,
Richard Maynes, Carl Pratt,
Carlos Amado’s one top cat,

Cecil Samuelson, Ronald Poelman,
Claudio Costa, Gary Coleman,
Spencer Condie, Dallin Oaks,
Boyd K. Packer don’t tell no jokes,

Porter, Bruce and Porter, Aldin,
Marlin K. and Jay E. Jensen,
Dallas Archibald, Dallas Merrell,
William Kerr and Hillam, Harold,

Keith McMullin, Kwok Yuen Tai,
Yoshihiko Kikuchi,
Dennis Simmons, Eran Call,
L. Tom Perry’s really tall.

Ben B. Banks and Robert Hales,
Jeffrey Holland never fails,
John J. Carmack, Sheldon Child,
Vaughn J. Featherstone is mild,

John E. Fowler, James O. Mason,
Angel Abrea, Russell Nelson,
David Burton, Merrill Bateman,
Glen L. Pace is a great man,

Enzio Busche, John B. Dickson,
William Bradford, Lance B. Wickman,
John M. Madsen, Augusto Lin,
Then D. Todd Christofferson,

Alexander Morrison,
David E. Sorensen,
Joe J. Christensen,
Andrew W. Peterson,

Neil Anderson, Neal Maxwell,
Dieter Uchtdorf knows his facts well,
Gene R. Cook and Richard Cook
Richard Allred, Quentin Cook.

Then there’s Dennis B. Neuenschwander —
Whatever your name is, his is longer —
Joseph Wirthlin, Richard Wirthlin,
Who’s the Apostle? Well, the first one,

Donald Staheli, David Stanley,
Richard Edgley sure is manly,
Jack H. Goaslind, Monte Brough,
Lionel Kendrick’s hangin’ tough,

Lynn A. Mickelsen, Craig Zwick,
Charles Didier’s hair is slick,
Henry Eyring, Richard Scott,
They’re Apostles; you are not,

Lino Alvarez, Bruce C. Hafen,
Kenneth Johnson has me ravin’,
Don Ladd is very regal,
Francisco Viñas es mi amigo,

Robert K. Dellanbach,
Duane Gerrard and Wayne Hancock,
Rex D. Pinegar, J. Kent Jolley,
I’ll play a few chords just to stall-y.

(Play a few bars of music, for as long as you want, then change keys and continue:)

If you wanna meet Richard Turley,
Better come to conference early.
The same holds true for Dale Miller,
When he speaks, there is no filler,

Melvin Hammond, Edward Brown,
Lynn G. Robbins goes to town,
Jerald Taylor, Earl Tingey,
Boy this song is fun to sing-y,

Hugh Pinnock, Robert Wells,
James Paramore, Max Caldwell,
Give ’em a hand now, if you please,
These are the General Authorities!