I sat on the beach
And looked out at the sea,
And some of the people, well they,
They looked good to me.
Then I saw you standing there
And it made my smile fade.
It’s for people like you that long pants were made.
So excuse me for staring,
But I can’t look away —
Your horrible flabby cheeks,
Your thighs a shade of gray.
Well, the thing is,
Your body’s really obscene.
Yours is the fattest butt I’ve ever seen.
And I can tell what the problem is:
It is your thong.
It’s really too tiny and
It just looks wrong.
I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, that I put in this song
How horrible you look when you wear a thong
I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, that I gouged out my eyes —
I couldn’t stand seeing after I saw your thighs.