A roundup of Film.com articles

Some of my recent articles at Film.com that may or may not amuse you, listed in chronological order:

The Five Worst Ideas of the Fall Movie Season | This was on Oct. 2. I’ve now seen three of the five, and it turns out my skepticism was valid.

What Not to Do at the Movies | Self-explanatory.

Enough ‘Cloverfield’ Already! | J.J. Abrams makes me weary.

Using Oscar’s Unwritten Rules to Predict the Winners | Make pretty actresses look ugly, play a retarded person, etc.

Ten 2008 Films That I Would See Right Now If I Had a Time Machine | Hey, scientists? Where are we on that time machine technology?

Seven People Not Being Considered for Justice League Roles | The idea was that there had been so much fruitless speculation and rumormongering on the Internet that we wanted to list people who most definitely were NOT being considered. It’s a very silly piece.

The Top 5 Directors of the ’00s | No snark here. These five (well, seven, technically) are geniuses.

Ten 2008 Films That I Would Use a Time Machine to Avoid Seeing | Here’s an example of the type of odd conversation I find myself having regularly. For “Sex and the City: The Movie,” I wrote: “Maybe it’s because I never really watched the HBO series, but I have no interest whatsoever in seeing a horse-faced gal and her brigade of slutty 50-year-old friends on a self-absorbed journey through Manhattan in search of a nice pair of $800 shoes.” My editor e-mailed and asked if we could scale it back a bit. I said, “Is the problem with ‘horse-faced,’ or with ‘slutty’? He said, “Yes.” I told him to replace “horse-faced” with “haggard-looking” and “slutty” with “libidinous,” and he ran with that. Problem solved! I bet you don’t have conversations like that with your boss.

What If Real Life Took over All Beloved Fairy Tales? | The upcoming Disney film “Enchanted,” about a fairy-tale princess coming to New York, is the jumping-off point.

I’d Like a Word with the People Behind the People’s Choice Awards | Be sure to read the comments people posted afterward.

The Writers Strike is Bad, But at Least We Get a Break | Let’s be honest: Hollywood makes too many movies anyway.

Rumor We’re Starting: ‘Calvin & Hobbes: The Movie’! | It’s completely false, but elements of it are sadly plausible.