Sometimes I go to Starbucks and get a piece of coffee cake. Often they have two varieties, regular and Portland. I get the Portland kind, and every time I get it, I ask, “What makes it Portland-y?” And then I always answer my own question with a joke along the lines of, “Does it taste like hippies?” or “Is it made from vegetarians?” I try to keep it fresh by mentioning something different every time, just in case it’s the same cashier that I’ve made the joke with before. But the other day I realized that I’ve never actually listened to the answer, which means I still don’t actually know what the difference is between Portland coffee cake and regular coffee cake. So maybe instead of cracking jokes I should shut up and listen? Is that the lesson here? Was my dad was right all along?
Portland coffee cake is made with Salmon.
Portland coffee cake has weed in it.
Portland coffee cake is the only thing Michael Moore eats.
I think it just doesn’t have all those crumbly things on top…like it’s flat…minimalistic…clean.
Portland coffee cake is baked on a hot stone in the sun so that no energy is wasted by using an oven.
Have you ever actually gotten a sensible answer or do they just laugh at your wisecrack?
The Potland variety is made of cement.
Yes, your Dad is right.
Portland coffeecake is flown in from Maine. I will never tire of jokes confusing the two Portlands.