Angry Letter: ‘Little Man,’ I think

This is one of the most baffling angry letters I’ve ever received, and an alarming indictment of our education system. I literally had to read it three times before I could figure out what it meant.

First, the e-mail’s subject line: i thought of little man was wrong!!!

And then the e-mail:

I thought Little Man was pretty funny and well put together.
But I thought your opinion was stupid and unreasonable , because your opinion about scary movies was “While I found myself laughing at quite a bit of “Scary Movie” which I didn’t it was a movies thrown with ignorant comments and scenes. I won’t lie “Little Man” had the same scene with a little ignorants to, but it was well put together.

Now, if the person who wrote this e-mail (“Martha Walker,” according to her return address) were a sentient human being with even modest language skills, here is what she would have written. At least, this is my best guess at an interpretation:

“I thought ‘Little Man’ was pretty funny and well put-together. Your opinions are invalid to me because you liked ‘Scary Movie’ (from the same writers and director as ‘Little Man’), saying in your review, ‘I found myself laughing at quite a bit of “Scary Movie.”‘ I thought ‘Scary Movie’ had a lot of ignorant comments and scenes. [I didn’t know how to translate that.] I admit, ‘Little Man’ had a bit of that, too, but overall it was good.”

I am glad we live in the Internet age. Fifteen years ago, this person could have communicated with me only by writing a letter, and surely that process — writing something by hand, addressing an envelope, mailing it, etc. — would have been beyond her capabilities.