Angry Letter: ‘Suits on the Loose’

The recent Mormon Cinema entry “Suits on the Loose” — about two juvenile delinquents who hide out by posing as Mormon missionaries in a small desert town — did nothing to help the genre, but it did inspire this angry letter from a woman named Elaine. I urge you to read the review in question first, as it will make the letter that much more enjoyable.

So, who died and made you the know it all in scripts and movies??? [Gene Siskel.] You were way off the bat when you made your comment about the name of the movie! [What I said was that “Suits on the Loose” was obviously inspired by films like “Nuns on the Run,” including in the title. There’s no way a movie has the same plot as “Nuns on the Run” and a title similar to “Nuns on the Run” by coincidence.]

You need to give the writer a break, after all he is trying to bring the level of Mormon moveis up. This is not a million dollar project. [The production quality is much better than some previous Mormon films, despite the low budget. But all the money in the world won’t save a bad script.]

The movie is great for good clean fun. As far as the violence and vulgarity go, wow… have you seen the latest movies, even the G rated ones are laden with real vulgarity, homosexuality, drugs, violence. [I didn’t say anything about the film’s vulgarity or violence, except that it’s there. I didn’t say it was extreme or unpleasant or irresponsible. In fact, I only said there’s “a little” vulgarity. Are you saying there ISN’T a fistfight in the movie? Are you saying the word “pissed” ISN’T a vulgarity? I issued no judgments; I merely said the movie was rated PG, and explained why. The MPAA (which doles out the ratings) gave the same reason: “some language and brief violence.” And for the record, G-rated movies are NOT laden with vulgarity, homosexuality, drugs and violence (except for cartoon violence, though even that has to be kept to a minimum). If movies become laden with those things, they become PG or higher. If you disagree, I urge you to point out a G-rated movie that supports your point of view.]

You should be singing Mr. Hensons praised for trying to make a movie that families can go to. [If he were the only one doing it, and if “Suits on the Loose” were the only family-friendly movie available, I would. But other people are also making family-friendly movies, and some of them are actually making GOOD ones! So Henson gets credit for trying, but in the end, all the matters is whether the movie is any good or not, and his is mediocre.]

As I said, where did you get your training and expertise, so I know how serious to take your cute opinion? [And if I told you I had a doctorate in film studies from Harvard, all of a sudden you’d change your mind and agree with me?]

I imagine you are R rated movies or nothing! No wonder the world is getting so much more vulgar and unhappy. [Here’s a fun game you can play. Take 10 seconds to browse my site. You will find R-rated movies with poor grades, some with high grades, some PG-rated movies with high grades, and some with low grades. A movie’s rating has nothing to do with its entertainment or artistic quality. There are good and bad movies of all ratings.]

Get a clue, Mr. Eric. I disagree with you so much, I am sorry I can’t get my opinion published as you have. [Ah, but you can!] Hope you feel good about the things you say. [As long as I’m telling the truth about my opinion of a movie, then yes, I feel good about what I say. You should feel good about your opinions, too, as long as they are how you honestly feel, and as long as you have presented them calmly and rationally.]

So that was fun.