With commenting enabled on the movie reviews, people are able to post their angry diatribes directly, without having to send them to me. But a few hardy souls still spew their vitriol the old-fashioned way, via e-mail. I present two for your reading pleasure.
First, from someone named “yasemin,” whose attack-the-critic defense of the film “The Holiday” reminds me of the things people (read: teenage girls) said in defense of a certain other Kate Winslet film, back in the day:
Way too long and a little too cutesy…What did you mean with that…And you say :If it didn’t feel so long??? What a feeling haa…you know what…. I would prefer it longer…I really didn’t like your comment. Maybe you are in love with someone that doesn’t love you, so you couldn’t stand it… If you felt like you were stuck there watching that LONG movie, DON’T WATCH IT THEN….Oh yeah but you have to write your critics…you have to watch it…I am really sorry for you…poor you…watching that long movie, you had a hard time…maybe you are not as handsome as Jude Law maybe that’s why it was irresistible…. For the cutesy, people need cute films, at least for some minutes it makes you feel life is so beautiful and could be better anytime…but you are so hopeless that you don’ wanna believe this…”THE HOLIDAY” was smashing, and it puts a smile in your heart….What’s wrong with that…
So Yasemin is really smart and articulate and everything, and she knows the proper definitions of words like “irresistible.” She is joined by a fellow member of the literati, Jessica:
I think you should leave Larry the Cable guy alone. Is it so wrong to try to make people laugh? He is very amusing, and not just because of the “butt” jokes, but because he makes people stop being so up-tight about themselves and everyone else. He is just a funny man who spreads the funny out all over the world. And I don’t think that you need to discourage him for doing so. It is indeed true that some of his punch lines are a bit grody, but that is what makes them funny. The fact that he can take everyday abnormality’s and turn them into hysterical displays of humor should be rewarded, and not patronized. Maybe you should think about that before you keep discouraging movies.
I guess I knew Larry the Cable Guy’s horrendous movie must have fans, but I have to say, I’m surprised that one of them is a woman. Maybe Jessica is Mrs. The Cable Guy.