Apathetic titles for state songs

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I’m rather embarrassed to admit I only recently discovered McSweeney’s, a very funny and literate Web site that is connected with a quarterly publication of the same name. Each day something amusing, submitted by a reader, is posted on the site, and heavens, are some of them ever funny.

The one to kill me most recently was brought to my attention when it was republished in The Oregonian. It is a list bearing this title:

“State songs, if they all suggested the apathy of Idaho’s ‘Here We Have Idaho.'”

Do you follow? Idaho’s state song is called “Here We Have Idaho.” Clearly whoever wrote the song was not very enthusiastic about the place. It’s like you’re showing someone around the country, and you’re like, “Ooh! This is Utah! It has beautiful mountains and deserts! Oh, and Montana! A gorgeous place, with fine, hardy people! And … here we have Idaho. Hey, this way to Oregon!”

So anyway, the list (written by one Craig Robertson) is what other state songs might be called if they, too, were written with zero enthusiasm.

Read the list here, then come back.

* * * *

Done?

OK, this one — “I Don’t Even Know Why I Try With You, Arkansas” — has been making me giggle for three days now. I can picture someone wearily shaking his head in exasperation and defeat as he says it. “I don’t even know why I try with you, Arkansas.” Man, that’s funny.

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