Dumb comments for your reading pleasure

The vast majority of comments that people post on EricDSnider.com are relevant, reasonable, and useful. But a small minority are dumb. I have cataloged some recent ones here for your enjoyment. My favorite parts are in bold type.


“27 Dresses”:

[You make good points, and you make them very well.]

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Snide Remarks: “The Nayme Gaimme”:
I am a teacher and we come across lots of “unique” names. There are two sisters I had Royalty Knight and the little sister Ya’Hinnis Knight is in pre-school. I have had a Scipio, he was from down south ( I teach in MO) There is a Fuchsia!! I could go on as well but I want. It isjust interesting to me to each its own. As for the changing the spelling I am guilty myself with my own children. My daughters’ names are Kaprice and Kamryn i wanted to stick with the K’s

[“Boy, have I ever seen some stupid names! There were two sisters, Royalty and Ya’Hinnis! Then there was a Scipio and a Fuchsia! And what about the idiot who named her daughters Kamryn and Kaprice — which isn’t even a name! Oh, wait, that was me. I am deeply ashamed. P.S. Even though I am a teacher, I write at a remedial level. That is why your children are so stupid.”]

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“A Walk to Remember”:
Holy Crap!!!

You are crazy this movie is one of the best romances I’ve ever seen, and trust me I watch a lot of movies. I’m a journalist at my school and my topics are usually about movies. I watch them and review them like you do. The actors are very good at the characters they play, the plot is not very good but catchy, and SHANE WEST is freakin’ HOTT! Unless you like Mandy Moore, then which she’s pretty.

[My apologies, my good lady! I did not realize that you were a journalist at your school. As a professional courtesy, I should have checked with you first before writing my review, if only to verify the hottness of Shane West.

Also, I would like to point out for the record that this person’s e-mail address is I_love_modeling@[something].com.]

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“No Country for Old Men” (spoilers):
I’m so confussed, what the hell happened??? I keep thinking that Moss is still alive, I dont think that was him on the hotel floor. But why didnt that Chigurh dude kill the sheffif?? I know he killed Carla Jean because he checked his shoes. But if someone could try to tie this movie together for me Id love it.

[The reason this comment is dumb is that it appears at the end of more than 200 other comments — plus links to blog entries — whose purpose is to help tie the movie together. Maybe what he means is that he wants someone to come to his house and explain it to him in person.]

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“No Country for Old Men” (no spoilers):
I have never seen so many explanations for a movie. There are comments in here that are a mile long. What does this say about the movie? Could it be because the movie was not well made at all? Sorry, I saw it, and thought it was a waste of time. It seems we are trying so hard to make sense out of it. Just my opinion.

[Yes, obviously: When you see people discussing theories and insights of a film’s thematic nuances, it’s a sign that it’s a bad movie. Similarly, Shakespeare was a terrible writer. You can tell because everyone talks about him so much.]

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“The Bank Job”:
ok when you are doing a review for a movie make sure that its not a noval, i cant tell you how many times i’ve read a review that was short and straight to the point. and when i read these kinds of reviews i feel like im listening to an old man trying to remember a story from when he was 20. just make it short and worth my time because i hate reading these long ass thing when im trying to see if the movies good or not, i dont want the whole movie e4xplained to me before i go see it, im just looking at if the acting is good, if its worth my 5 dollars to see it.

[“When I read a movie review, I don’t actually want a movie review. I want a letter grade and a 50-word summary. Please make your movie reviews more like that, i.e., not movie reviews at all. Thank you.”]

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“Run Fatboy Run”:
Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t David Schwimmer’s directorial debut a comedy about a high school reunion? I remember renting it about ten years or so ago; it starred Teri Hatcher, Lara Flynn Boyle, and featured a Jerry Springer cameo. I thought it was directed by Schwimmer, but I could be wrong…but either way, it wasn’t all that good.

“The Orphanage”:
Isn’t this the movie that was produced by the same guy who did Pan’s Labyrinth?

[Hmm. Good questions. If only there were some way of finding out this sort of information, some kind of … I don’t know … Internet movie database or something.]

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Snide Remarks: “French Stench”:
Amerrican peolple must be quite. ‘Cause any crap you say, innocent people will pay so expensive for that. You know what I’m telling about………..

[No. No I don’t.]

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“The Phantom of the Opera”:
I think that the musical “Phantom of the Opera”, was a great film.(With Emmy Rossem, she ROCKS!) Those who just, insult the movie, your totally missing out!

Not just insulting the movie, but also the acters, and actresses. You know, they work really hard, and do you do that pruducing, and directing, and acting?!?

When you just come out and say, “That movie was rediculous!” how do you think the people who work really hard on the movie feel? What is the heck is wrong with you people?! (And those people are NOT UGLY!!!!)

[We saw a lot of similar comments, also from teenage girls, on “Prom Night,” to the effect of “You should be nice to this movie because a lot of people worked hard on it.” Yeah, you know what? Go look in the toilet, you’ll see something I worked hard on. That’ll be $9, please.]