Another week, another lame film from the 1980s starring Sylvester Stallone. There appears to be an infinite supply of these — good news for Eric’s Bad Movies at Film.com, which this week focuses on “Cobra.” Brigitte Nielsen, Stallone’s wife at the time, co-stars in the role she was born to play: a person who is 3 1/2 inches taller than Stallone.
Hey, Monte can’t be all that bad. He’s Elim Garak on Deep Space 9!
OK, I know the story was kind of lame, but how can you not like one of the greatest one-liners of the 80’s?
Bad Guy: “I’m going to blow this supermarket up!”
Stallone: “That’s OK. I don’t shop here.”
I laughed myself silly on that one when I saw the move for the first time.
All,
Let us not forget “You’re the disease and I’m the cure!’. What could Dirty Harry have done with this line? People have to wonder…..
On a tenuously related note: I am confused. The Eric Snider website has a drawing of Eric wearing glasses, clean shaven, looking like a friendly librarian, etc. The film.com site has a picture of Eric looking like a meth lab mastermind who is about to punch out a paparazzi. Which is the real Eric? People have to wonder….
Cheers
GDM
TV Tropes describes the hazardous last-battle factory trope quite well:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoOSHACompliance
Does anybody remember that Andrew Robinson, the same guy who played that nerdy and wimpy Monte in Cobra, also played the frighteningly creepy killer in the first Dirty Harry movie that came out 15 years before Cobra?
Oh my gosh, that movie BLOWS! And I’ve seen it like 10 times, attracted to it in the sort of way that you can’t look away from someone who’s freakishly ugly. My favorite is when they hold their cult meetings and clang axes together. In my own experience, I find that my own cult seems to develop our sense of togetherness by doing the same thing (small world!), although I couldn’t keep time, and my disruptive, syncopated axe-clanging earned me some uncomfortable stares, and ultimately a spot watching the kids in the cult nursery. Second best is when Psycho Cult Leader calls Rambo “Pig” twice at the end, and they get a close-up of the spit & sweat spraying out of his mouth when he says it. That second “pig” insult pushes Cobra over the top, making him say one of the dumbawesomest lines: “This is where the law stops, and I start!” It is amazing how that steel factory is there just operating all on its own, perfect for sticking the guy on a hook that runs through the fire, or for the Terminator to melt himself into a pot of molten steel lava, or for the dozens of other movies that end up there.
I’m not sure if your plan backfired because this review made me laugh so hard that now I want to see the movie!
my favorite line: this character has pica!
You know, Sylvester Stallone might have pica. Maybe that’s his whole problem, maybe he goes to pica support groups with other pregnant ladies to try to fix the issue.
When you were soliciting bad movies this one is the first to come to my mind. Not just because it was a bad movie, but I went and saw this and the very next day tuned into Siskel and Ebert.
I distinctly remember that the both LOVED THE MOVIE, two thumbs up!
That was the moment I lost my innocence (in the trusting of movie critics, that is).