Eric’s Bad Movies needs bad movies

While waiting for Cool as Ice to come out on DVD, there is a Spanish dubbed version on you tube that is even funnier than the original.

How about “Under Siege 2: Dark Territory”? It’s Steven Seagal, it’s the flop-tacular sequel to his alleged best movie, it has Eric Bogosian (seriously) as the big villain, and it features “Grey’s Anatomy” star Katherine Heigl in an early role as the Seagal character’s niece.

Also:

“Karate Kid III”
“Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace”
“Cool as Ice” (Must not be available on DVD/VHS. No other explanation for why you haven’t done it before now.)
“Baby Geniuses” (1999)
“Love in Paris” (aka “Another 9 1/2 Weeks”)

Dungeons & Dragons! It’s from 2000, so it’s barely outside, but if you haven’t reviewed it yet, you definitely should write it up here. That movie still makes me throw up in my mouth a little. =(

The Curse (1987) and Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell (1978)

At the Earth’s Core (1976)
I found it while flipping through channels a few weeks ago. This column was my immediate thought as I watched it, awestruck.

Mannequin (1987) Kim Catrell and Andrew McCarthy. I don’t think this was supposed to be a comedy.

I still recommend Fortress (come on, it’s Christopher Lambert) and Kiss of Death (Nicolas Cage), both of which I will only admit to having seen in the theater because my name is not posted here.

Surf Nazis Must Die
Rawhead Rex
The Toxic Avenger
Ghoulies
Rhinestone
Yentl
Stop or my mom will shoot
Killer Klowns From Outer Space
Repo Man
C.H.U.D.

Aw, you can make an exception for Sly Stallone’s OSCAR, can’t you?

Here’s some! I put stars by my favs.

The Buttercream Gang
Basketcase*
C.H.U.D
Gleaming the Cube
I Drink Your Blood*
Joysticks*
Lambada ( a good companion to “The Forbidden Dance”)*
The Manitou*
Monster Dog (starring Alice Cooper)*
Ninja Turf*
The Pit*
Skyscraper (starring Anna Nicole Smith as a helicopter pilot with a hostage situation)
Soldier
Tales from the Crypt
Theodore Rex
Trilogy of Terror
Truth or Dare*

I think Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the new one. It’s the only one I don’t recognize, anyway.

A girl I dated once made me watch “Troop Beverly Hills” with her. That relationship didn’t last.

“Kindergarten Cop” was really dumb.

When I was like 7, I watched a movie called “Kid Colter” with a friend. It was about some kid who runs away from bad guys and becomes a mountain man/boy or something.

And when I was a teenager, we had “The Last Dinosaur” on VHS. It was hilariously bad. We loved the scene where they launched a rock at the dinosaur, and you could see it bounce off the rubber head.

Come to think of it, I believe that same girl made me watch both “Yentl” and “Oscar.” So yeah, that relationship was doomed from the start.

Heartbeeps

I know you requested well-known titles, but these are just crying out for your treatment. I actually reviewed both of these for my high school newspaper!

Solarbabies (1986)–Check it out on imdb, you’ll see it had lots of major stars of the day as well as newcomers who became famous later.

The Wraith (1986)–Also featured some big names; Charlie Sheen, for instance.

Shipwrecked (1991)
Death Wish 2 or 3
Mars Attacks
I second Karate Kid III
The Caravan of Courage (Ewok Adventure)
I know its very recent and may be too controversial, but it was so bad we laughed ourselves out of seats: The Book of Mormon movie
Throw Mamma from the Train
Anything in the Children of the Corn series past the first one.
Universal Soldier
Dune
Labyrinth
Cutthroat Island

I second the nomination of The Curse (1987)
Ishtar (1987)
The Brave Little Toaster (1987)

I second Dungeons and Dragons. That might be the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. It comes off as if it was put together by 6 editors that worked independently. And it was their first project after dropping out of film school. And they were drunk.

Not to mention the directing, the plot, the acting, and the special effects, all of which sucked.

How about “Saturn 3” (1980)? A nude, aging Kirk Douglas and a complete disregard for the vacuum of space.

I say it every time, and yet it never gets used. “Super Baby Geniuses” doesn’t violate any of the rules for EBM eligibility, and it would make a great one, too! Please, “Super Baby Geniuses!”

I’ve got to submit “Riki-oh: The Story of Ricky” (1993). It was released in Hong Kong, and then again in the US as a limited release. This gore-tastic movie needs to be seen by anyone and everyone.

“Super Baby Geniuses” doesn’t violate any of the rules for EBM eligibility

Except for rules #4 and #5, you mean. 🙂 (Link.)

Other films mentioned that I reviewed when they came out: “The Book of Mormon Movie” and “Dungeons & Dragons.”

“Commando,” an early Schwarzenegger film, is awful, indulging in every cliche in the book.
“Junior” and “Twins,” two other Schwarzenegger “family” films, are atrocious.

Try Billy Jack – the caucasian native american cowboy who fights rascists with his kung fun

Carrie Fisher in The Burbs with …
Tom Hannks who was i The Money Pit with …
Shelley Long who was in Hello Again

I would also second The Book of Mormon Movie, but I’d be more than happy to let that one fade quietly into absolute obscurity.

Barb Wire
Look Who’s Talking Too
Look Who’s Talking Now
Teen Wolf Too
Revenge of the Nerds 2: Nerds in Paradise
Conan the Destroyer
Blues Brothers 2000
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III
*batteries not included
Solarbabies
Tank Girl
Ladybugs
Mitchell
Final Justice
Shanghai Surprise

I would suggest “Gingerdead Man” starring Gary Bucey. A convicted murderer (Gary Bucey) is reincarnated into a cookie who proceeds to slaughter an entire bakery.

Anything with Madonna
This violates #4, but you didn’t review Vin Diesel’s Babylon AD (2008) when it came out. It’s awful.
I think you should do Clash of the Titans because (a) it’s awful; and (b) some people love it and I want to see some angry comments.

I’ll throw in a vote for “Cutthroat Island”–so, so bad.

“Fresh Horses”–I remember I couldn’t even get through it as a teenager, and that’s saying something.

“The Love Letter” (1989) was suitably awful, but even though it was not funny it may have been meant as a comedy.

“Satisfaction” was so bad that Liam Neeson claims he never watched it after starring in it.

“Sleepwalkers”–a particularly foul Stephen King offering.

The Last Action Hero

After suggesting it in each of the previous nominating rounds, I am going to recommend Ator the Fighting Eagle, one last time.

It’s like Beastmaster, but even more incompetently done. It stars the guy who played Tarzan (a previously “Eric’s-bad-movied” film). It is the first film in the Ator series, of which Cave Dwellers (as seen on MST3K) is the sequel. It has great dialoge:
Ator: I love you.
Sunya: And I love you.
Ator: Why can’t we marry?
Sunya: Ator, we are brother and sister.
Ator: I’ll talk with our father.

Please, please, please choose this one!

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band starring The Bee Gees — recently showcased on HBO and avail. on netflix. I have seen a lot of weir sh*t, but this was definitely the weirdest.

I would second “The Fortress” and what about Highlander 2 or any of the highlanders after that, what about Beowulf (1999) it might violate rule #2, it was recommended by a video store clerk who just LOVED it and was recommending it to everyone, but I think he was in the minority. Now that I think about it maybe I just have a thing against Christopher Lambert.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There were three live action TMNT movies in the early 90’s. They were part of my childhood, and I loved them as a kid, but I’m pretty sure they’re all ridiculous – especially the sequels. After you did the Power Rangers movie, I hoped you’d get around to the original TMNT movies, too.

Commando. I’m not sure what the consensus is on this movie, but I thought it was absolutely absurd. And it stars Arnie.

Riki-Oh: Story of Ricky. I wholeheartedly agree with Ben that everyone needs to see this movie. It’s hard to find, but if you manage to find a copy, go for it.

I got one!

Boondock Saints II, which I actually paid money to see, I am ashamed to admit. A young fellow of our acquaintance wanted to see it and there was nothing more promising available, so we rolled the dice.It is guy brain candy in much the same way that the Twilight films are girl brain candy. Forgive the mixed metaphor, but it’s a ripe field of guy brain candy.

(a couple of these were in the 2000’s, i’m sorry!)

Drive Me Crazy (1999)
Gooby
Novocaine
Bad Timing (1980)
Southland Tales
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai
Darkman
Psycho (1998)
Sgt. Kabukiman, N.Y.P.D.
Bringing out the Dead
Day of the Dead
Face/Off
Kiss of Death (1995)
Maniac Cop (any of them)
Thrashin’
Hard Ticket to Hawaii
Westworld
Spasmo
Father’s Day
Steel (1997)
Virtuosity
Fear (1996)
Black Knight (2001)
The Last Boy Scout
The Man in the Iron Mask
My Giant
Excess Baggage

(HOW DARE ANYONE CALL REPO MAN A BAD MOVIE?!)

My senior year of high school my mom got me a VHS copy of Attack of the Killer Shrews (1959) as a gag gift for my birthday. I know it’s a little more obscure, but my friends and I had a blast turning off the volume and MST3King the film.

Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park
Spacejam

BARB WIRE
JAWS 3D
COLOR OF NIGHT
PIRANHA 2: THE SPAWNING
RADIO FLYER

I second, and possibly third or fourth or fifth:
Mannequin
Piranha 2: The Spawning
Throw Momma From The Train

Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann (1982)

I’m surprised you haven’t done this movie yet. Just wait until you get to that great twist ending. Worst movie ever!

Also, you don’t need to rent it. It’s on Hulu.com

Gotcha…A paintballing cloak and dagger movie starring Anthony Edwards w/ hair! ’nuff said.

3 ninjas; which gave every young boy false hope that they could fight grown men, and that it was cool to shout the lines, “let’s run!” “let’s hide!” “let’s kick their butts!”

Also, Richie Rich.

They may be remembered as family comedies, but they surely are not.

Also, “Steel” with Shaq. Equally as bad as Kazaam.

And i second twins. Danny Devito and Arnold as twins. Those are hours of my life I can’t get back.

I 2nd Panda’s suggestion of “Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park”. It meets all the criteria and it is at least as astoundingly bad as any other contender you have reviewed.

5 mins of Youtube research will confirm this to be true.

I again recommend Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and WaterWorld.
Also, anything — I repeat, ANYTHING that starred Hulk Hogan. No Holds Barred, Suburban Commando, Santa with Muscles, Mr. Nanny, the list goes on and they’re all terrible.

The Mod Squad
Battlefield Earth (okay, it’s from the 2000’s, but BARELY, and it was SO BAD)
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare

Braveheart: it’s from 1995, you didn’t review it, and it’s bad, Batman wi’ a Scots burrr. Unaccountably it won the Best Picture Oscar, though it wasn’t even the best Historical Drama set in Scotland — that honour goes to Rob Roy, better in every way.
Actually, trashing low-budget crap is shooting fish in a barrel. It’s much better, more authentic and way funnier, when you take a popular movie and point out what crap it is. I also enjoy your take on Pseuds like Catherine Breillat — ‘this is one of the Frenchest movies I’ve ever seen’ cracked me right up.

I second Rawhead Rex.

Oh.
My.
Gosh.

A lot of you guys are requesting movies that I really love. “Repo Man,” “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai,” “Labyrinth,” “Dune,” “Mars Attacks,” Face/Off,” “Westworld,” “Darkman…” Or maybe enjoying crazy sci-fi/fantasy movies is the mark of a weirdo, like me.

The worst movie I’ve ever seen is “Boondock Saints.” Somebody already mentioned it, but I’m seconding it.

This is disregarding a few of the rules, so it’s not really a “suggestion,” but the most disgusting and unintentionally hilarious movie I’ve ever seen is “The Butterfly Effect 2.” I mean, I was screaming at my TV, and I’m not the sort of person who usually does that. I seriously had to wonder about the psychiatric state of the screenwriters.

I can’t believe no one has ever suggested “Kingdom of the Spiders” with William Shatner. One of the funniest movies ever, though I don’t think it’s a comedy.

Jaws 3 was always a horrible 3-D film.

The other day I turned on “Santa With Muscles” on demand with my kids. WOW, it was bad.

Project X. Teaching monkeys to pilot planes, need I say more?

Another vote for Karate Kid Part III, Suburban Commando, and Jaws 3.
I’d also recommend:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: the Secret of the Ooze, which has the craptacular dance club scene with none other than Vanilla Ice;
Stop, or My Mom will Shoot (a Stallone movie – bonus!); and
Rocky V.

Megaforce with Barry Bostwick. I think its from 1982. I wanted to see it so bad as a kid. I saw it 8 years ago and it was atrocious. And I can’t get enough of it. It’s freakin great!

I agree that Steel should be on the list. It was far worse than Kazaam. Also, Gleaming the Cube… An 80’s movie in which Christian Slater plays a skateboarding rebel with an asian brother?!? It also has a young Tony Hawk as a minor character. The Toxic Avenger was also pretty terrible. In honor of all the comic book movies coming out I also recommend Captain America (1990).

I agree with the previous comments: when/if you finally have to do a comedy, Oscar should be at the top of the list.

I’m not sure how you feel about returning to a series that you’ve already utilized for EBM, but my first two suggestions are still worthy candidates:

“I Still Know What You Did Last Summer”
“Jaws 3D” (already mentioned several times.

Also, you could take your pick from parts 4, 5, or 6 of the “Nightmare on Elm Street” series, though I’d recommend part 6, “Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare” over the others.

Freddie the Frog, also known as Freddie as F.R.O.7. It’s a terrible, terrible cartoon with every French stereotype you can imagine. The lead character is an anthropomorphic French frog. James Earl Jones is the narrator according to IMDB, but I don’t remember that from seeing it in my youth but it has traumatized me to this day. I don’t know if it’s on DVD or if it was ever in theaters, but it would make a great installment.

Mr. Boogedy and Bride of Boogedy. Some of the worst films I have ever seen, yet for some reason I watched them many times as a child.

Braveheart? See #2, dude.

I was looking forward to your review of :

Bangkok Dangerous

(I think most Nick Cage movies could qualify)

Anyway, maybe I will still get to see you review this film.

Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973)

I would like to second Bangkok Dangerous. That was 2 hours of my life that I will never have back.

“Cloak and Dagger” (1984), featuring Dabney Coleman and Henry Thomas in probably his only post-”E.T.” role.

* The Bad News Bears Go to Japan is the worst color film I have ever seen.

* I see you have several suggestions for C.H.U.D. I don’t think it’s bad enough for you. However, C.H.U.D. 2 – Bud the Chud is PERFECT for your purposes. It also features the single worst theme song ever recorded.

* “If you run it backwards, it has a plot.” That’s what Robin Williams said about his 1980 film Popeye. The characters speak in a bizarre internal monologue style.

* Space Camp. The WTF? moments in this all-star monstrosity make Battlefield Earth look like neo-realism.

* You haven’t hated a movie until you’ve sat through every last frame of Kevin Costner’s The Postman.

* I agree that you should do: Waterworld, Highlander 2 and Saturn 3.

I see once again you have a ton of suggestions that are comedies or are film well-liked by most people. Rules were made to be broken I guess.

Oh, golly yes! You have to do Megaforce with Barry Bostwick! Also, Space Truckers with Stephen Dorff. I’m still apologizing to my husband for renting that.

And, a movie that leaves most of us around here speechless with . . . I’m not sure if it’s shock or horror, but speechless, anyway:

The Terror of Tiny Town.

According to the credits, the little people are owned by the producer. Oy.

The 80’s movie “House”. It’s a horror movie that also *tries* to be funny. Should it be scary or funny? I don’t think those two were really supposed to play together.

Have you ever mined imdb.com’s list of 100 worst movies? Or how about the Razzie nominees for worst picture? The latter might be influenced by popularity backlash, but it’s got to have some real doozies all the same.

Michael, if it’s any consolation, I’ve suggested Labyrinth every previous time, and so far, it appears to have been flat rejected. I checked Rotten Tomatoes, and apparently it has a non-trivial corpus of defenders/apologists. I’d just assumed they all watched it stoned, or they were deaf and blind or something.

I second “Space Camp.” And speaking of space movies from the 80s, I loved “Flight of the Navigator” and “The Last Starfighter” as a kid, but looking back, I’m pretty sure both were astronomically stupid.

Jingle All The Way

What about the North Shore? It’s about a kid from Arizona who wins a surfing competition at the local wave pool. Not satisfied with man-made waves he decides to “go to Hawaii to surf the big waves of the North Shore.” Of course, the locals don’t like him especially when he starts dating but he eventually earns his keep.

And, what about Rad? It’s on the best movie ever made about trying to do a backflip on a BMX bike.

Can you tell I spent a lot of time watching HBO in the late 80s?

I have more!

Double Team
Twin Dragons
Bad Channels

Double Dragons.

It’s about as bad as Super Mario Bros.

“Zombie! vs. Mardi Gras.” If you can find it. It’s very hard to do so.

“Silent Night, Deadly Night 2.”

The original Boondock Saints. It has a cult following but I can’t understand why.

D’oh! Sorry for the idiocy; I meant the *original* “Baby Geniuses!” I didn’t consider it a comedy, and it’s from 1999, so I thought it was eligible, but I got the name wrong. Still, even as a comedy, I figured the horrifically creepy lip-synched babies alone would be enough to make fun of. Eh.

Wing Commander.

ugh.

Cop and a Half

Spaced Invaders

I would recommend “Nothing But Trouble 1991.” All I remember* about this movie that my sister insisted “looked hilarious” was two men in fat suits and diapers in a junkyard chasing Chevy Chase and Demi Moore.
* I was nine when we rented it.

It always amazes me that despite Rule #2, people suggest popular movies, fully aware that they are popular, because they personally didn’t like them, as though they are completely dumbfounded that anyone could disagree with their opinions on movies.

Anyway, more suggestions:

Undefeatable (which has a famously awful fight scene at the end – I believe it’s on YouTube somewhere)

Three Ninjas (same vein as Surf Ninjas)

I can’t believe no one has suggested The Room (2003). However, it might be another Troll 2 in that it’s so aggressively, hilariously bad that mocking it is redundant.

I’m sure there are more, but these are what come to mind.

Free Willy 3 (1997)

How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)

Has anybody mentioned “Jungle 2 Jungle”? I even checked Rotten Tomatoes—18%. So it is as bad as I remember it being. I don’t know if it was supposed to be a comedy. It certainly wasn’t funny (not even in a “hilariously bad” way). It was just painfully dull and stupid. And as far as comedies not taking themselves seriously, it certainly tried to have some heavy-handed message about fathers being unselfish and loving their sons or something. So I think it qualifies.

The Pirate Movie- bad acting, singing, Star wars jokes, etc.

Spawn (1997). Definitely the worst comic book movie ever–and that includes the Fantastic Four movies.

The Phantom with Billy Zane. Catherine Zeta-Jones is in it, and so is the girl from the movie Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. I think Treat Williams is the Bad Guy in it also. I still pull it out for guys night get-togethers for an MST3K experience.

Killer Clowns from Outer Space

Christopher Columbus: the discovery
starring Tom Selleck as King Ferdinand. Seriously one of the worst films ever.

Heaven’s Gate. It actually put a studio out of business, it was so bad.
Bulletproof Monk. Chow Yun-Fat drinks his own urine.

I second ‘Spawn’!
‘The Asylum’ production company is a treasure trove of films so utterly terrible that the only reason people sit through them is because they’re rooted to their seats in horror.
‘The Asylum’ rips off of other, widely publicized films to make a quick buck.
For example, ‘Snakes on a Plane’ was massively hyped. So ‘The Asylum’ spent about eight dollars on a ‘film’ called ‘Snakes on a Train’.
‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’ came out. ‘The Asylum punished humanity with ‘The Day the Earth Stopped’. ’10, 000 B.C.’ earned double its box office. So ‘The Asylum’ brewed up something called ’10 million B.C.’ And on and on. They’re hilarious to laugh at.

Once again, I am going to push for The Pest, which I actually love, but mostly because of the fun memories from freshman year in Q-Hall (you like my appeal to emotion?).

Also, I noticed that Never Say Never Again hasn’t been suggested, and I don’t believe you have reviewed it.

I suppose The Pest is a comedy, but you could argue that it an action film in the same way as one might make such a case for Tropic Thunder. Never Say Never Again, however, is totally compliant.

I was surprised how terrible Hitchcock’s Vertigo was. Jimmy Stewart is unintentionally creepy, and it ends with [a big spoiler that I’ll ruin for people who haven’t seen it just because I don’t happen to like it]? So stupid.

The Room (2003) director Tommy Wiseau

You’ve got to do “Longshot” or “Longshot Boys”

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082676/

A movie about Foosball? Horrible!!!

I think you need to make a “2000’s” exception so you can go back and rectify the B+ you gave Pearl Harbor. It was only from 2001 anyway. That means it was mostly made during 2000 (which is actually part of the 90’s).

It’s an insicere and cynical attempt to remake Top Gun, Titantic, Saving Private Ryan, and Castaway all at the same time. Go watch it again and you may retch.

Bonus: two-thirds of its wikipedia page is devoted to its historical inaccuracies, and how much the critics hated it. (In one shot of the harbor they left in the USS Arizona Monument!)

As a mother I am so glad you have the Care Bear Movies on your list. My mother bought the VHS of this for my kids at a thrift store. It is AWFUL.

But, she also bought “Thomas and the Magic Railroad” which is a live action Thomas the Tank Engine movie starring Alec Baldwin and it is WORSE! I have seen it numerous times due to a Thomas-addicted kid and still can’t figure out the plot! It makes NO SENSE and the acting is awful. I can’t believe somebody ever thought the screenplay was good. They must have been making changes as they filmed because it’s the only explanation.

Went to RT and checked on my suggestions. They classify Pest as a Comedy, so I lose there (even if it is a 9% rating); NSNA pulled a 64% (60% with top critics). I don’t know if 64/60 is low enough.

I respectfully withdraw my nominations for violations of rules 5 and 2, respectively. Even if I think they were good ideas.

Oscar is off limits. It is really, really funny. I’m sorry, it is. I understand that there is not a lot of love for Stallone, and that is something that I can respect, but there is no reason the movie Oscar should suffer because Stallone happens to be one of the characters.

Now, on the topic, if you want to pick on a bad, truly Stallone movie through and through, then you gotta go with Daylight. Ridiculous. Plot holes galore and terrible acting all over the place.

I have to say that “Maximum Overdrive” with Emilio Estevez is exceptionally bad and exceptionally funny. Worth it!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3.

Friday the 13th VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, which makes me think of a true gem…Muppets Take Manhattan

I will second Junior, Twins, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (even though they are all comedies…) and Spacecamp (even though I, personally, adore it in its awfulness)

Hercules in New York. You can hear car horns in the background during scenes taking place on Mt. Olympus. And Hercules is played by Schwarzenegger. Yeah. It’s terrible.

I’m going to throw in another vote for Cutthroat Island. Also, Lost in Space really deserves to be on the list.

For everyone who requested comedies thinking that your comedy is an exception because it’s really really bad and unfunny, I’ll do the EBM column for you:

Eric: “Wow, you were right. This comedy isn’t funny and therefore is a really really bad movie.”

There you go.

Jaws III aka Jaws 3D, aka the god awful Jaws movie starring Dennis Quaid set in a Seaworld-like theme park where a mother shark gets revenge for her babies being killed. Hilariously bad.

Flashdance
Ninja 3: The Domination

Night of the Comet (1984)

Toys
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over

How about the über successful “Newsies”?

The Room. – Awesomely bad movie that is so atrocious it circles around and becomes brilliant.

Spawn – A huge letdown of a movie considering how cool the character is.

Gooby – Haven’t seen this one, but from the trailer it looks like Calvin and Hobbes, except Hobbes has been replaced with pedobear. Very disturbing looking.

Two more suggestions:

Cabin Boy
Ghost Dad

CRITTERS.

So ridiculously bad it’s kind of awesome. But mostly bad.

Eric! In honor of Mo’nique winning an Oscar, you should do Phat Girlz.

American Ninja.

There were sequels, which I never saw. But the first one is pretty bad, sure the sequels are worse, but I can’t say for sure.

How about “RAD” the BMX bike movie that actually includes a scene at a school dance with dancing done on a BMX bike. Doesn’t get any better than that.

When I was about 10 I loved a movie called Powder, I just watched it the other day thanks to Netflix and discovered that I was retarded when I was 10. This movie was awful.
Basic idea of movie: A smarter-than-Einstein (despite being home schooled by grandma), albino guy who can control electricity has some problems with a few bullies at school.

I hope you review this one.

Iron Eagle (1986).

Its like Goonies + Top Gun on a very low budget.

I would like to 2nd the nomination for Nothing But Trouble. I’m horrified to find that it actually played in theaters. We never even got through it (rented it some time in the mid 90’s as teenagers).

I would like to nominate Only the Strong (1993). A terrible martial arts movie where every bad guy, from the street-level drones on up to the…head bad guy, inexplicably knows capoeira. Martial arts nerds will tell you this is a good movie; they are wrong. It has a solid 0% on RT (only 7 reviews, but still), and grossed a solid $3.7 million domestic.

Neither are very well known, but both are groin-stabbingly bad.

Three words-

King Solomon’s Mines (1985)

Swamp Thing.

Toxic Avenger.

Both of these movies turned into cartoons, so they are somewhat more famous than some movies mentioned here, and both are pretty bad. Swamp Thing even had a sequel and a tv series.

Dante’s Peak! Or is that TOO obvious….?

Now that I hear they are thinking of making a Flash Gordon remake, you MUST do the original.

The worst movie I’ve ever seen in a theater, made even worse that if came out right around the time Star Wars came out, making he “special” effects look even specialer.

Yes! RAD is an excellent pick.

Island of Dr. Moreau – a really famous flop starring Val Kilmer and Marlon Brando. Brando is really pudgy, wears a muumuu and is escorted in a popemobile. The jokes would write themselves.

Caligula – Infamously bad movie. There is a 102 minute R-rated version floating out there. If you see it, watch that one. All the others are twice as long.

Highlander II – has Sean Connery in it, and makes absolutely no sense. This movie is the worst in the series.

Road House – A movie so bad it becomes good.

And one final shout out for The Room before i mention…..

The Star Wars Holiday Special – Eric, you really need to see this movie to appreciate how horrible it is. It has the entire cast from Star Wars, who look like they would rather be anywhere else but on set. Harrison Ford phones in his lines, and I am 95% certain that Carrie Fisher was coked up for all her scenes. All this before we even discuss that the movie is completely bat-crap insane.

“Miracle Mile” (1989) – I happened to catch it on TV late last night and was mesmerized by its badness. I’m sure that my post-9/11 perspective affects my ability to appreciate it (as the reviews from the time were mostly positive), but yikes. Just yikes.

I second the nomination of “Dune”. Oh, the horror of “Dune”!

I meant “post-Cold War” rather than “post-9/11”. Oops!

Eric. I have to protest your no comedy rule. Nothing but Trouble is being left out. The only good thing about this movie is that it makes a perfect gag gift. People see who is in it and think it must be worth a viewing. Suckers….

Highlander 2
Island of Dr. Moreau
Roadhouse

All terrible movies, and fairly famous too.

I’m glad to see several suggestions for Santa With Muscles and I agree with the comment that any Hogan movie would do (although I’m sure several were attempting to be comedies). We just had a garage sale and I caught my wife trying to sell my copy for 10 cents. Luckily no one had bought it yet and I was able to rescue it so it can be the best white elephant gift ever at some future work holiday party, if I can bear to part with it.

“Blood and Chocolate”
It seems you haven’t actually reviewed this yet.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
Darby O’Gill and the Little People

‘Deafula’ (1975)

As a reviewer from The Agony Booth said:
“All you really need to know about this movie is that it’s called Deafula, it’s about a deaf vampire, it’s performed entirely in sign language, and yes, it really exists.”

Hope you’re still checking this thread.

Have to agree on Maximum Overdrive (made some time in the 80s) and Fortress (1992). I’ve only ever had three favourite so-bad-they’re-good movies and these were the first two.

My current favourite is Double Dragon (1994) which someone already suggested. It stars several people you actually recognise: Alyssa Milano, Scott Wolf, and Robert Patrick (who I’m a big fan of), and has an IMDB rating of 3.something. It’s about two high-kicking brothers who have to evade a bad guy who wants their piece of a powerful medalion. And it’s based on a video game (when that was considered an advertisement, not a warning).

There’s also Striptease, but it’s quite similar to Showgirls.

Best line in Double Dragon:
Bad guy to henchman- “I think of you like a son, and like a son, I can always have another.”

Lady Terminator, an indonesian version of Terminator, mixed with a local legend. I’ve been laughing all this movie. And here’s a quote from one of the policemen (after finding three guys whose manhood has been bitten sort of off) :

“The report says an eel. An eel? On dry land? I’ve heard of the ultimate blowjob, but… this is too much”.