Everything I wrote in 2013 that wasn’t a movie review

My thanks to the outlets that employed me and the many fine editors who dealt with me this year!

Film.com (David Ehrlich and Brooke Tarnoff)
Movies.com (Erik Davis and Peter S. Hall)
GeekNation (Ben Pearson)
Twitch (Peter A. Martin and Ryland Aldrich)
About.com: World/Independent Film (Marcy Dermansky and Jurgen Fauth)
City Weekly (Scott Renshaw)


Snide Remarks
(Many more in 2014, I promise!)

“Anti-Anti-Semitism”: Hating Jews seems like a lot of work
“Low-Capacity Magazines”: Another lesson in gossip interpretation
“Jamaican Me Crazy”: Adventures in getting offended by proxy
“Get Out of the Way, Idaho”: Strict regulation of minor infractions
“Empty Pockets”: Air travel means giving up on everything
“What I Think About What You Think”: Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man
“Spring Breaking Point”: Relax and get aggravated at the movies!
“Correction News Network”: CNN clarifies some of its prior coverage
“Truth Decay”: Why I’m voting against fluoridated water
“Supermania!”: A refresher course on the Man of Steel
“Proud Fathers”: What would the Framers think of us now?
“The Surly Urban Juror”: Doing one’s civic duty, civilly or not
“The End of All Things”: Our society has gotten too permissive
“Requiem for a Geo”: A surprise ending for a beloved old car

Eric’s Bad Movies

“The Curse” (1987)
“The Wraith” (1986)
“The Octagon” (1980)
“Setup” (2011)
“A Talking Cat!?!” (2013)
“Land of Doom” (1986)
“Mr. Hush” (2011)
“Lords of the Street” (2008)
“Casablanca” (1942) (for April Fool’s Day)
“Chain Reaction” (1996)
“Barney’s Great Adventure” (1998)
“C.H.O.M.P.S.” (1979)
“Sudden Death” (1995)
“Misbegotten” (1998)
“Sasquatch” (2002)
“Suburban Commando” (1991)
“Dylan Dog: Dead of Night” (2011)
“The Freedom of Silence” (2011)
“Battlefield Earth” (2000)
“Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn” (1983)
“Silent Hill: Revelation” (2012)
“Shakma” (1990)
“Dracula 3000” (2004)
“The Devil Within Her” (1975)
“BloodRayne: The Third Reich” (2010)
“Dinosaur Island” (1994)
“Munchie” (1992)
“Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls” (2008)
“Dead in the Water” (2002)
“The Quest” (1996)
“Hammer of the Gods” (2013)
“A Demon in My View” (1991)
“The Skulls III” (2004)
“House at the End of the Street” (2012)
“A Dennis the Menace Christmas” (2007)

Pitch Meetings

The Pitch Meeting for “Peeples”
The Pitch Meeting for “The Lone Ranger”
The Pitch Meeting for “R.I.P.D.”
The Pitch Meeting for “Last Vegas”

You’re Old

(In which films are revisited upon the anniversary of their release, with accompanying historical data from that weekend)

“Army of Darkness” (20th)
“Lethal Weapon” (26th; we went back to round-number milestones after this)
“Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life” (30th)
“Indecent Proposal” and “The Sandlot” (20th; same weekend!)
“Deep Impact” (15th)
“The Matrix Reloaded” (10th)
“Big” (25th)
“Last Action Hero” (20th)
“Jaws 3D” (30th)
“The Fugitive” (20th)
“The Last Temptation of Christ” (25th)
“Mrs. Doubtfire” (20th)
Gus Van Sant’s “Psycho” (15th)

Miscellaneous movie columns

Hollywood’s New Year’s Resolutions
Why Are the “Django Unchained” Action Figures Offensive?
Zombie Boyfriends: “Warm Bodies” vs. “My Boyfriend’s Back”
Top 5/Bottom 5: Steven Soderbergh’s Movies
The Great Debate: “Casablanca” vs. “Gone with the Wind” (featuring Corey Atad)
“Snitch,” Guns in Movies, and Why Hollywood Can’t Shoot Straight
The 8 Most Memorable Premieres in SXSW History
The Great Debate: SXSW vs. Sundance (featuring Rob Hunter)
The 8 Most Annoying Movie Marketing Tactics
Interview: David Zucker on How Spoofs Have Changed from “Airplane!” to “Scary Movie 5”
What Is a “Cinemascore”?
Why Can’t We Let Filmmakers Tell Stories on Their Own Terms?
How “Man of Steel” Is Better Than “Superman Returns” (and Vice Versa)
“The Butler” Lawsuit and 7 Pairs of Movies That Shared a Title Without Anyone Suing About It
The 2013 Summer Movie Quiz
The Steep Decline of Sketch-Comedy from “Kentucky Fried Movie” to “Movie 43” and “InAPPropriate Comedy”
“The Butler” Box Office and Political Agendas
25 Reasons to See “Ender’s Game”
20 Reasons to See “Escape Plan”
We Asked a Telekinetic Teenage Girl with a Crazy Mother to Fact-Check “Carrie”
The Movies of 2013: The Miscellaneous, Random, and Very Important Data (with assistance from Will Goss)
2013 Film Titles: A Dramatic Reading