and Cinematical stories: a round-up

Alt text
Alt text

Since you can’t be expected to keep up everything I write — heck, even I don’t always read what the Laotian kids in my sweatshop crank out before I put my name on it and send it to the editors — I thought I’d list some of the more noteworthy entries from recent weeks at and Cinematical.

“Predictions for Tyler Perry’s Next Five Movies”: This one might not do much for you if you’re not the least bit familiar with his films (“Diary of a Mad Black Woman,” etc.).

“An Open Letter to Eugene Levy”: It’s an intervention, really.

“Science Helps Us Predict When Acting Careers Will End”: A story detailing the mathematical formula used to predict when certain untalented and/or unnecessary celebrities will finally stop getting work. It comes complete with an editor’s note reminding the reader that, ha ha, we’re just kidding! This was deemed necessary in light of Keira Knightley’s tendency to sue people who point out the very obvious fact that she has anorexia.

“From Book to Movie: This Fall’s Adaptations”: Less humor-oriented but perhaps useful account of some of this season’s book-based films.

“Fun with Bad Movie Promotion Ideas”: A TV station in Philadelphia gave out a bullet-riddled jacket as a promotion for “Shoot ‘Em Up.” We take it from there.

“Other Political Candidates from Hollywood We’d Like to See”: You know, now that the guy from “Law & Order” is running.

– Most of my posts at Cinematical have been news-oriented: this film was chosen to represent its country at the Oscars; that film was bought by a studio at a festival; stuff like that. One that might be of general interest, though, is this one, about a survey conducted to determine the 100 best non-English-language films ever made.