articles for your viewing pleasure

In the absence of a new “Snide Remarks” this week, here are some of my recent pieces, which I’m hoping a) you haven’t already read and b) you’ll find suitable as substitutes.

The Size of ‘Meet the Spartans’ Doesn’t Matter – Sure, it’s too short. You say that like it’s a bad thing.

I Never Thought the Vanity Fair Party Was All That Great Anyhow… – This required a lot more research than I usually like to devote to absurd concept pieces.

Every Oscar Speech Ever Given – Yes, every single one.

What REALLY Happened on the Set of ‘The Other Boleyn Girl’ – Pure, unadulterated lies. Please note that where I mention someone getting punched in the face, the version I submitted had “boobs” instead of “face.” My version was funnier.

Maybe ‘10,000 B.C.’ Will Be Good – But probably not.