For the Boys

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My newest pet peeve is guys who refer to their friends as their “boys,” as in, “Me and my boys were hangin’ out at the Dairy Queen.” It’s the sort of phraseology used often by tools, and I don’t like tools. “My boys” is a term that can properly be used only in reference to one’s male children. In any other case, they are not “yours.” You don’t own them, you have no claim on them. What makes them YOUR boys? How do you know YOU’RE not one of THEIR boys? And they are usually not “boys,” either, being over the age of 18 and therefore men. Any adult who refers to himself as a “boy” (or, worse, “boi”) ought to be shunned by society. If we are to be friends, you will have to accept that I allow for no exceptions to these rules.

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