Friday movie roundup – ON A WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!!

We’ll have to make this quick, ‘cuz it’s 2 a.m. and I have to get up at 5 to catch a plane to California for Thanksgiving. (You see, I’m in such a hurry that I couldn’t even spell out the word “because.”)

Most of this year’s holiday offerings are actually pretty good, which is always a pleasant change of pace. There is one notable exception, but we’ll deal with that momentarily.

“Deja Vu” is solidly entertaining. Ironically, despite the title, the movie actually DOESN’T seem familiar. It’s quite original.

“The Fountain” is Darren Aronofsky’s long-awaited follow-up to “Requiem for a Dream.” It’s a mesmerizing film, but one without an easy-to-grasp linear plot. People either love it or hate it. I’m more in the “love” category (well, “like a lot”). But I won’t be offended if you see it and hate it.

“Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny” has some hilarious moments and some dead ones, too. Tenacious D is a one-joke band, and the film is a one-joke movie. That joke can be pretty funny sometimes, though.

Finally, there’s “Deck the Halls,” most assuredly the worst Christmas comedy I’ve ever seen and one of the lousiest films of any genre of 2006. I know some of you enjoy my reviews of awful movies, and I have to say, I kinda let “Deck the Halls” have it with both barrels. If “Deck the Halls” were a person, I would probably feel bad now. But then, if “Deck the Halls” were a person, I would have it charged with assault.

Kurt Vonnegut once said: “Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.” The quote has been applied to movie critics, too, usually by people who have made bad movies and wondered why the critics savaged them. All I can say is that sitting through an awful movie can be sheer TORTURE, especially when you know you CAN’T WALK OUT. You’re stuck there until the stupid thing is over. When that happens, writing a scathing review can be cathartic, a way of getting the poison out and letting the healing begin.

On that note, happy Thanksgiving!