Monday equals ‘Snide Remarks,’ complete with pictures!

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Socialite and political prisoner Paris Hilton.

Monday already?! I know, I can’t believe it either. To help soothe the pain, I offer you a new “Snide Remarks” column, entitled “Reaching for the Stars.” It is part of the occasional series where we show you quotes from celebrity gossip magazines and then tell you what those quotes really mean. That is the “premise,” as we call it in comedy circles.

The column has its accompanying podcast, as usual, which you can listen to right there on the page. It’s also here, and you can subscribe to the podcast through iTunes or whatever you kids are using nowadays with this URL.

Also, I should mention that the column has pictures. Pictures! Those are always fun.

A side note regarding “Snide Remarks”: I recently swept through the entire archives and reread all 540+ columns. Well, “recently” in the sense that I started back around Christmas and just barely finished. (I got sidetracked here and there. Plus there were a lot of them!) In the process, I updated the Comments & Reaction sections as necessary, repaired broken links, and fixed formatting problems, typos, and other minor problems. This should give you a trouble-free experience as you browse the older columns, but if you encounter any broken links, typos, or other errors, please let me know via e-mail. (Don’t post a comment on the page, because then I’ll have to delete it after I fix the problem — or else leave it and let people wonder what you’re talking about.) We may fall short of perfection, but it will not be for lack of trying!