Monday: ‘Snide Remarks’ and podcast; ‘Slow Burn’ and ‘Redline’ merriment

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Monday again? Already? Didn’t we just have one of these like a week ago?!

Because it is Monday, here is your “Snide Remarks,” with the podcast version embedded right there on the page. I was going to write about the Don Imus thing, but then I decided to just make a casual, careless reference to it instead.

ALSO! Here are reviews of Friday’s not-screened-for-critics “Slow Burn” and “Redline.” The reason they weren’t screened for critics, of course, is that they’re bad movies, but in this case I think that plan may have backfired. “Redline” made only $4 million this weekend, debuting in 11th place, while “Slow Burn” managed just $800,000 and about 19th place. Those numbers suggest a lack of public awareness. If they’d been screened for critics, there would have been reviews in all the papers and online on Friday. Yeah, most of the reviews would have been negative — but at least it would have increased the films’ visibility. Ultimately, all publicity is good publicity.

“Redline” has an amusing backstory. As reported by the Los Angeles Times, it is the brainchild of Daniel Sadek, a millionaire real estate mogul who wanted an excuse to show off his fancy cars, and also to give his actress girlfriend a starring role. He dreamed up the story and handed it over to an unknown screenwriter and director, appointing himself producer and financier. He put about $55 million of HIS OWN MONEY into the film’s production and marketing, and is distributing it himself, too. (Usually, people who produce movies independently sell them to studios to handle the distribution. That’s what Sundance is all about: “Here’s this movie we made; will you please use your money and resources to put it into theaters for us?”)

Sadek clearly was not merely a silent check-writer on the film. He’s known for his love of Las Vegas, gambling, hot chicks, and fast cars, and all of those elements are featured prominently.

On Friday, as reported by Defamer, Sadek issued a red alert on his MySpace page. It seems to have disappeared since, but here’s what it said. (It originally appeared in ALL CAPS; I’ve eliminated that but retained everything else exactly.)

PLEASE – I NEED YOUR HELP!

Hollywood is trying to shut down this movie and Chicago Pictures, by putting bad ratings and commentaries on the web, because we didn’t follow their rules for releasing this movie. [Does he really think it’s “Hollywood” that’s posting the negative reviews, rather than moviegoers? I love it when people smell conspiracy everywhere.] We did it ourselves successfully. They can’t afford for us or others to succeed in doing that. It’s not fair for anyone to trash the movie without seeing it yet. The premier yesterday, was a complete success — everyone loved the movie!

I am asking for your help. You should not allow this to happen!

Please go to these sites and help me fix the ratings and commentaries by posting positive messages and reinforcing other peoples positive comments. [In other words, while it’s not fair for anyone to trash the movie without seeing it yet, it IS fair to PRAISE the movie without seeing it yet.]

www.yahoo.com
www.boxofficemojo.com
www.moviefone.com
www.fandango.com
www.edmunds.com/insideline

I need your help now!! Please tell the world how good this movie really is. [I know I’m doing my part: This movie really is not very good at all!] Young creativity shouldn’t be stifled by Hollywood money. [“Young creativity”? Really? With regard to a movie about bikini-clad women and auto racing?] Its all about entertaining you!

Love you guys!
Daniel

I have to say, reading that made me juuust a little bit more delighted when the film turned out to be lousy. It’s fun to rip into a bad film; it’s extra-fun to rip into a bad film whose producer is a tool.

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