New ‘Snide Remarks’; new movie reviews; new everything!

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Whichever one of you jokers ordered a Monday, here it is. The rest of us were enjoying Sunday just fine, thank you.

The new “Snide Remarks” is posted here. It will not be brief, and you will not enjoy it. The podcast version is forthcoming; I’m hoping the scratchy throat I have will clear up.

Meanwhile, as promised, I have reviews of the five movies that opened Friday that I didn’t already have reviews of. They are:

“The Last Mimzy” (YAY!)

“The Hills Have Eyes II” (BOO!)

“TMNT” (MEH!)

Pride” (DOUBLE MEH!)

“Shooter” (YAY, SORT OF!)

I spent a lot of time at the Century 16 Cedar Hills Crossing in Beaverton on Friday and Saturday. It’s certainly not the closest theater to my house, but it was the only place showing all five movies I needed to see, and showing them at intervals that would make it convenient to pay for one film and sneak into one or two additional ones afterward.

(I don’t feel too guilty about doing that, by the way. I could have seen them all for free at the press screenings anyway, if I hadn’t been out of town.)

It was fun to estimate where the films would end up in the weekend box office list based on how full the theaters were when I saw them. Turns out I got their relative order exactly right, which means Beaverton, Ore., is fairly representative of American movie-going habits.

There was a family watching “The Hills Have Eyes II,” a mom and dad and their four kids, ages 8-16 (I’m guessing). Two boys and two girls. What kind of parents would let kids that young watch something as ghastly as “The Hills Have Eyes II”? The bad kind, that’s what. I’m 32, and if it were up to her, my mom STILL wouldn’t let me watch it.

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