Let’s start the new year with a fresh batch of unwitting hilarity, shall we? It’s always nice when people post comments on the columns and reviews here at EricDSnider.com; when those comments are flawed, it is only slightly less nice. We collect them here for you to enjoy, with our favorite parts cast in bold type.
DUMB COMMENTS POSTED ON ERICDSNIDER.COM
I think I was an excellent movie. [I think you were an excellent movie, too!] My son loved it and that was all that matters. He won’t stop talking about it. He is 3 yrs of age and There couldn’t of had been a better movie for him.
The dog in the movie I thought was cute and a perfect fit. I really didn’t sit and analyze the movie as others have done, but rather watched my son as he stared into the movie screen theater with and anxiety that was overwelming. [“Anxiety”: I do not think this word means what you think it means.]
I think Disney has done a great job entertaining our kids and will continue doing so.
Think about what kind of entertainment there is for a child these days. Praise God
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“Picasso at the Lapin Agile” (theater production):
You are a moron. Lapin Agile is the name of an actual bar in Montemarte in Paris. Steve Martin did not make it up, therefore it is not “a very Steve Martinian name for a bar”.
[It is true that I was not aware that Lapin Agile is a real place. Whether my lack of familiarity with the bars of Paris makes me a moron is debatable. However, the fact that Steve Martin did not invent it does not preclude it from being “a very Steve Martinian name for a bar.” On the contrary, the name’s Steve Martinianness is no doubt why he was attracted to it.]
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“Just My Luck”:
when i was this movie i feel im a lindsay lohan and my partner is chrise pine.thank you
[Parents of America, please take a moment to reflect on this question: Why are your children so stupid? Thank you.]
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“Oh, Deer” (“Snide Remarks” column):
If you would do the reasearch, you would find that the brain of a fish is not complex enough, to have the sensation of pain. I do not belive that an angry deer, armed with spears on his head, would only “lick you to death”. Deer are very powerful animals and under the right cirumstances they will attack, and they will hurt you. Did you know that in Yellowstone, the most dangerous animal is not a wolf, bear, or bison? It is a moose. I do not appreciate your studity, the next time you write such an article you should take the time to do a little research.
[Good sir! I am not accustomed to having my studity questioned! I shall have to challenge you to a duel!
As for fish brains, the research is pretty evenly mixed between scientists who think fish feel pain in their mouths and scientists who don’t. Here’s a study from a few years ago; here are anglers, unsurprisingly, disputing it. I guess what this reader meant by “do a little research” is “read the same article I read.”]
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“The Rainbow Correction” (“Snide Remarks” column):
I remember The woman who raised me her name was mama Tishey,while she was alive,she always talked about Salt Lake City and how beautiful it is… She passed on in 92. The pain of her passing was so GREAT,that I myself felt like dieing…
but as everyone has to do, I kept going on.
Years had pasted before I heard the Song, ‘ when mama meets JESUS tonight.’
It brought me to tears. mama Tishey made us laugh,shared the bible with us,took us to church, keeped a roof over our heads,cloths on our back and food in our mouths… We struggled ALOT and wentthrough a lot of hard times, but it was by G-D ALONE that we all made it.. she made it to Heaven and we ( the brother that I grew up with- and myself) and made it to adult hood….Now we are working hard and on our own paths now.. Since I found G-D, the brother that I grew up with rejects G-D, and thats his choice, I only hope that one day he finds the PEACE that I have found through G-D.
Mama Tishey would have wanted it that way… She told me before her death to watch over him, because she knew how disobedient he was at times… but I know that he loved her and he carries the guilt of disobeying mama Tishey with him til this day. She was good to both of us. but favored brother more.. as you can see.
Now I’m not saying that I in my life was 100% perfect, no one is 100% perfect except for G-D HIMSELF.
But I TRIED to walk the Correct Path the best that I could.. and even moreso now…
I have children of my own now and I do not favor one from the other, they share, they both have compassion toward one another and love one another and are good children.
I’ve learned years back that it’s all in how a parent raises a child.. and what type of Mentor the parent/s guardian/s are To the child.
We all learn in life by the mistakes we make, and we ( parents that care) try and show our children the correct paths in life to take. rather they take them or not when they get older is their choice. We just hope and pray for the best.
Anyways, that songthat I had mentioned earlier, touched my heart. Does anyone know who sang it?? and when it hit the , ‘top 40s’??
Have a nice day all.
[Parents of America, please take a moment to reflect on this question: Could your own illiteracy be a factor in your children’s stupidity? Thank you.
To answer her question, “Christmas Shoes” was sung by Satan and the Fiends of Hell, and it hit the top of the country charts on 6/6/06.]
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“Across the Universe”:
I thought this was a musical! Wow.
[What’s funny/stupid about this comment is that “Across the Universe” is a musical, and that fact is made abundantly clear in the review this person was commenting on.]
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“Final Destination 3”:
WHAT THE [swear word]?! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS AT THE END OF THE MOVIE. THEY BETTER BE [swear word] MAKING A 4TH ONE TO TELL WHAT HAPPENS TO ANDY, WENDY, AND JULIE. I MEAN DO THEY DIE? DO THEY LIVE? I MEAN WHAT THE [swear word]!!!! STUPID MOVIE WRITERS CANT WRITE A GOOD MOVIE IF IT BIT THEM IN THE [swear word]!
[But if the movie bites them in the swear word, they don’t NEED to write it, because it obviously already exists! Why must you create conundrums??]