Stupid names

In today’s Oregonian there’s a story about a family who were found alive and well after being missing for two weeks, stuck in their well-stocked mobile home on a snowy road in rural Oregon.

But that’s not what I wanted to tell you about. What I want to tell you about are the family’s two children, ages 10 and 8. Their names: Sabastyan and Gabrayell. First the stupidly misspelled names, then the ill-fated camping trip. Parents, why do you hate your children so much?