“Cavemen” (Tuesdays, ABC): This laugh-track-free sitcom about a race of cavemen who live in modern society isn’t the televisiopacolypse we thought it would be … but it’s not particularly good, either. The pilot episode was screened earlier this year and immediately excoriated by everyone who saw it as stupid, unfunny, and racist: Apparently, every time they said something about “cavemen,” you could just replace it with “black guys.” So ABC sent the show back for “retooling” and came up with this largely inoffensive version. The premise is that cavemen are just another race of people living among us … a race that, yep, still kind of resembles stereotypes about black people. Some homo sapiens women have a “thing” for cavemen, who are wilder, better lovers; the cavemen’s Texas-accented landlady thinks they all look alike; some cavemen are opposed to intermarrying with homo sapiens; etc. I got a few chuckles out of it, which is a few more than I was anticipating. But still. TiVo verdict: I’m even a Geico customer and I’m not gonna watch this.
“Carpoolers” (Tuesdays, ABC): Now HERE’S your awful sitcom! It’s about four guys who carpool to and from work every day. They kind of socialize outside those 90 minutes a day, too, and we’re privy to their unoriginal domestic travails, which do not appear to be very funny, if the pilot is any indication. And what’s with the names? The four guys are called Laird, Dougie, Gracen, and Aubrey, and one has a son named Marmaduke. What? TiVo verdict: Begone, evil one!