My sainted mother, known colloquially as Momma Snider, is having her knee replaced today! Wouldn’t you like to post a comment wishing her a speedy recovery and abundant health and happiness??
To answer some questions:
Yes, she is having it done professionally, by doctors.
Yes, the new knee will be made of Wolverine-patented adamantium, and will have super powers, including WiFi.
No, she doesn’t get to keep the old knee in a jar.
No, the knee did not have to be replaced due to a basketball injury.
Yes, one of the perks of having a knee made of metal is that now she will ALWAYS get an extra pat-down at the airport.
No, the knee was not shattered by a loan shark’s baseball bat.
Yes, she has Netflix Instant to keep her occupied while she’s couch-bound and recovering.
No, there isn’t anything Mom likes more in the world than sitting around anyway.
Yes, my dad and my sister Joy, who lives nearby, will wait on her hand and foot.
No, my brother Chris, who lives nearby, will not, because he’s a bastard.
Yes, my mom loves the word “bastard.”
Wouldn’t you like to post a comment wishing her a speedy recovery and abundant health and happiness??
Get well soon, Mamma Snider!
Get better, Momma Snider! Hope your bionics work out well. Careful jumping, because you might just fly off sideways if you don’t put your weight on the one leg correctly. That’s how we lost my great-grandma.
No, not like “died” – I mean we just lost her. She went flying off somewhere and we never found her. We assume she’s kicking for justice someplace.
Good luck Momma Snider! Maybe now that you’ll have some free time your devoted soon Eric will feel compiled to write blog entries more often, he might even write some Snide Remarks just to keep you entertained and prove that he really, really loves youA
Thank you for inspiring Eric to write something funny. And once you get that new knee successfully installed and working, consider moving around exclusively in your bare feet–it’s saved me from having to go under the knife on my knees (shoes are of the devil!).
Momma-
I hope you have a smooth and speedy recovery!
Think of this as another step in continuing your ascension to the pinnacle of greatest mothers of history: Eve, Mary, Elizabeth, Jackie, Maggie, my mom. You’re in great company of former knee replacement recipients. (Eve’s was made of unicorn horns.)
Best wishes on your surgery and recovery. You are wonderful.
Wishing you the most fun you can have while stuck on a couch recovering from surgery!
Best wishes for the surgery and have fun using your knee to predict the weather from now on!
Momma Snider,
Wishing you a speedy recovery. Just remember, the key to successful orthopedic recovery is to be faithful to your PT. Your therapist will be the new bastard in your life. You will hate him/her and your exercises, but that’s how the knee gets strong. You’ll do great!
All the best!
Best wishes! Get well soon!
I hope all goes well and that your bionic knee will propel you to dazzling new heights!
Dear Momma Snider,
Thank you for Eric!
Good luck with the knee. I recommend watching “Lost” in its entirety.
Best wishes!
Congratulations on your brand new, rugged, timelessly elegant knee, Momma Snider! Smooch Eric for me.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery and abundant health and happiness, Momma Snider!
Easy surgery and speedy recovery, Mama Snider! I’d say something more witty, but I just don’t got it. Good thing Eric has enough for all of us.
Best wishes to Momma Snider!!! Here’s to your prosperity, your good health and happiness, and most important … To life!
Best of Luck Momma Snider! I am sure you will recover quickly as you have a funny son Eric to entertain the pain away:) Cheers!-Hilary Jenkins Biddulph
Momma Snider, I don’t know you, but I found your Andes Mint Cookies recipe years ago and have since cooked billions and billions of them. Seriously, this Christmas alone I made 20 dozen. To, I hardly need mention, great acclaim. I love trying out new recipes but the Andes Mint Cookies are definitely the crowd pleaser in my cookie repetoire. Thank you for making my life a better, chocolatier place.
All of which is to say, I hope your recovery is super fast, and fun, and full of calories.
— Laura L
ps: people always ask for the recipe and I always title it Momma Snider’s Cookies. So you have cult following of a bunch of appreciative strangers out here in DC.
Momma Snider, having hordes of internet strangers well-wish you a speedy recovery is in no way weird or creepy!
That said…… I’ll be intently watching your speedy recovery from under your dining room table while I fill up my 893rd college-rule notebook with poems of my undying love for your son.
Dear Momma Snider,
What will the range be on that knee WiFi? The condo I stay at in Anaheim doesn’t have free WiFi…hope you recover speedily and that the pain doesn’t make you cry too much.
Good luck on a speedy recovery. I hope Momma Snider will have time to start tweeting now.
Feel better soon! And be sure to keep up with the physical therapy. A work friend of mine only halfway did hers and had to go back again. You don’t want that!
Although my commentary here may have been requisitioned, it is out of respect for your person that I choose to create the comment. The assignment, as stated, is to wish you “a speedy recovery and abundant health and happiness.” Done. May your life continue to be full of the joy that you bring to those of others, whether by your physical presence or otherwise. May your family and friends rally to your support. May you find the time to effectively indulge your free time, and may the experience be as pain-free as it needs to be. May the recovery process be swift, but the time off be sufficient. May your health rise up that generations upon generations of your posterity may yet know “Momma Snider,” and may you rejoice in their goodness and felicity.
And if I missed anything, you can have those best wishes too. Merry Christmas!
Momma, here’s hoping you get back on the pogo stick ASAP!
If I thought my brownies could ever compare to yours, I would make you some to make your recovery a bit sweeter. I had knee surgery in 2009, and the best advice I can give is to take all the meds they give you, don’t try to do more than you’re able (even if you really want to), and remember: it’s okay to cry in physical therapy. They have tissues for that. 🙂
Best wishes to you, Momma Snider!
I hope you get well soon, Momma Snider! Watch lots of awesome movies with that Netflix.
Enjoy being waited on and relaxing!
Best wishes, Momma Snider! Sorry your son Chris is such a bastard. At least your wonderful son Eric makes up for it.
Best of luck, and may your recovery be as comfortable as possible!
Here’s wishing you a speedy recovery and abundant health and happiness.
Momma S, I hope you have a speedy recovery and that you’re able to enjoy every minute of being couch-bound.
Wishing you and Mama S a Happy Healthy Abundant New Year!
Thanks Mama for having Eric!
Wishing Momma Snider a speedy recovery and much love and happiness.
I hope everything went well and you are starting to feel a little better. Keep at the therapy…it’s worth it.
Knee positive Momma Snider! (Pun intended) I wish you a speedy recovery!
Dear Momma Snider,
GOD BLESS YOU!
Cordially,
Jacob
Dear Brett Smacky,
Jackie who?
Cordially,
Jacob
Congratulations on the new joint! Hope you feel better soon!
Good luck on a speedy recovery, Momma Snider! I recommend BBC period dramas with lots of over-done romance for being distracted from being ill or injured, but it will make you severely dissatisfied with romance in today’s world. But totally worth it.
This is so nice! Thank you, everyone! Funny that Eric said my new knee would have WiFi — I took my laptop to the hospital with me, but turns out they don’t have WiFi except in the cafeteria. If only I had asked for the updated knee, I could have read all these wishes sooner!
I’ve never felt so forgettable and unimportant and insignificant as I did in the hospital, but you’ve all made me feel better, and I sincerely thank you.
And Chris has been very helpful.
Wishing you a speedy recovery, Momma! Sorry I didn’t see this until just now. I hope you’re feeling well.
Wouldn’t you like to post a comment wishing her a speedy recovery and abundant health and happiness??
Answer: YES, hang in there, everything heals in time, hearts especially.
Keep positive, keep laughing and keep on healing with foods you eat and what you drink, I would suggest carrot juice, and start juicing as much as you can during the day to get the vitamins in you from natural sources.
Dear Momma Snider,
I’ll bet you’re as sweet as a mother could be. First of all, I wish you the best on your journey to full recovery. And of course, thank you for giving us Eric!
Take care 🙂
Azadeh from Tehran, Iran