Your heapin’ helpin’ of Monday goodness

Today we bring you the rich, buttery taste of a new “Snide Remarks” column, which you will find at this Internet location. There is no accompanying podcast recording of it, not out of laziness on my part (though that’s a good guess), but because the column has visual aids and relies heavily on quotes, both of which are hard to convey accurately in audio form.

And I’ll warn you right now: There will be no “Snide Remarks” next week. But that is because I will be in Austin for the South By Southwest Film Festival, and you will have my daily reports to enjoy instead (here’s last year’s diary), thus rendering “Snide Remarks” unnecessary. In fact, a new “Snide Remarks” next week (and maybe the week after, too, because I’ll still be traveling) would just get in the way. It would be an irritant, a nuisance.

Meanwhile, my review of “Black Snake Moan” is up. It’s good. (The movie, I mean. The review is badly written as usual.)

Finally, you’ll recall that I reported a couple weeks ago that my crappy, unfunny books and CDs are almost gone. Well, their almost-gone-ness has become even more pronounced since then, and I’m now looking at the last six copies of “Will Make Jokes for Food” and the last FOUR copies of “Monkeys and Pirates Are Funny.” If ever there has been a time to buy these items (by going to the merchandise page), surely that time is now. Make haste! Buy before it is too late and all is lost!

[UPDATE: Wow, that didn’t take long. “Monkeys and Pirates Are Funny” is now sold out.]