Hollywood can be so confusing! Both “Furry Vengeance” and the new “Nightmare on Elm Street” are opening on the same day, April 30, and I can already see moviegoers buying tickets to one when they meant to buy tickets to the other. How can the average person keep them straight? We are here to help sort this mess out.
‘Furry Vengeance’ and ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’: How to Tell the Difference
“Furry Vengeance” is a horrifying tale of nature gone mad, as a squadron of highly intelligent woodland creatures seeks to murder a land developer (Brendan Fraser); “A Nightmare on Elm Street” is a fantasy-comedy about Freddy (Jackie Earle Haley), a simple man who loved children in life, and now, after his death, visits them in their dreams.
“A Nightmare on Elm Street” is a remake of a 1984 film that spawned several sequels; “Furry Vengeance” is a remake of every family comedy you’ve ever seen in which people are injured by animals, primarily in the groin area.
In “Furry Vengeance,” the bad guys are the businessmen who want to turn a pristine nature preserve into a shopping mall; in “A Nightmare on Elm Street,” the bad guys are the ones who thought what the world needed was a remake of “A Nightmare on Elm Street.”
The “Furry Vengeance” trailer shows people being sprayed by a team of skunks, pursued by a bear, locked in a portable toilet and covered in feces, pooped on by a flock of birds, and hit in the crotch with a blast of water; the “Nightmare on Elm Street” trailer shows people trying not to fall asleep.
The star of “A Nightmare on Elm Street” is Jackie Earle Haley, an actor with a promising career who faded into obscurity before coming back to prominence a few years ago; the star of “Furry Vengeance” is Brendan Fraser, an actor with a promising career who faded into obscurity.
You won’t be able to rest easy when “A Nightmare on Elm Street” ends because you’ll know Freddy will be back in a sequel; you won’t be able to rest easy when “Furry Vengeance” ends because you’ll be adding up how much money you spent taking the kids to see what was obviously intended as a straight-to-DVD movie.
“Furry Vengeance” comes from Summit Entertainment, the studio that brought you “Twilight”; “A Nightmare on Elm Street” comes from Warner Bros. Pictures, the studio that brought you “Must Love Dogs.”
“Furry Vengeance” is Robin Williams‘ nickname for his lovemaking technique; “A Nightmare on Elm Street” is Paris Hilton‘s nickname for hers.
The main character in “Furry Vengeance” vaguely resembles Jon Hamm; the main character in “A Nightmare on Elm Street” vaguely resembles semi-digested ham.
The message of “Furry Vengeance”: Don’t mess with Mother Nature!; the message of “A Nightmare on Elm Street”: Your dreams will kill you. Never dream.