‘Larry Crowne’ vs. ‘Monte Carlo’: How to Tell if You’re the Target Audience

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While “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” is the movie that most people will be enjoying (well, watching) this weekend, Hollywood has a little thing called “counter-programming,” too, that enables you to see other new films. But there are two counter-programming options this time, the Tom Hanks comedy “Larry Crowne” and the Selena Gomez comedy “Monte Carlo.” If all you know is that you don’t want to see the giant-alien-robots-that-are-also-cars movie, how do you know which of these other two you want to see instead?! Let us help you.

‘Larry Crowne’ vs. ‘Monte Carlo’: How to Tell if You’re the Target Audience

Do you know what a “Selena Gomez” is?

YES: See “Monte Carlo.”
NO: See “Larry Crowne.”

What about a “Leighton Meester” and a “Cory Monteith”?

YES: See “Monte Carlo.”
NO: See “Larry Crowne.”

Are you old enough to remember when Tom Hanks wore a dress so he could live in a women-only apartment building?

YES: See “Larry Crowne.”
NO: See “Monte Carlo.”

Do you love the television series “Community” but wish it had more Oscar-winning actors and fewer laughs?

YES: See “Larry Crowne.”
NO: See “Monte Carlo.”

When you hear that a movie’s premise is that three teenage girls go to Europe and one of them is mistaken for a princess because she happens to look just like her, and so the ordinary girl and the princess switch places for a few days, can you think of anything that could possibly make the movie sound any worse?

YES, THAT SOUNDS OK: See “Monte Carlo.”
NO, I CANNOT THINK OF ANYTHING WORSE: See “Larry Crowne.”

What if it’s a movie where Tom Hanks gets fired and goes back to community college, where his teacher is Julia Roberts?

YES, THAT DOES SOUND WORSE: “Monte Carlo.”
NO, THAT STILL SOUNDS BETTER THAN THE SWITCHING-PLACES-WITH-A-PRINCESS THING: “Larry Crowne.”

Are you already upset that we’ve described the Monte Carlo character as a “princess” when she’s actually just a very rich and powerful young lady, not technically a princess?

YES, U SHULD GET UR FACTS STRAIGHT B4 U WRITE ABOUT A MOVIE!!: See “Monte Carlo.”
NO, THE DETAILS ARE IRRELEVANT: See “Larry Crowne.”

Are you baffled by Tom Hanks’ continued association with Nia Vardalos, the “Big Fat Greek Wedding” lady?

YES, SERIOUSLY, WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?: See “Monte Carlo.”
NO, IT SEEMS QUITE REASONABLE THAT A HOLLYWOOD LEGEND AND A-LIST CELEBRITY WOULD KEEP COLLABORATING WITH A ONE-HIT WONDER FROM 10 YEARS AGO: See “Larry Crowne.”

Is it your opinion that no product from the Disney Channel teen-idol factory is complete until it has starred in its own movie?

YES: See “Monte Carlo.”
NO: See “Larry Crowne.”

Honestly, at this point, is there anything Tom Hanks could do that would diminish his standing in your eyes?

NO, THERE IS NOTHING: See “Larry Crowne.”
YES, TO BE FRANK, TOM HANKS IS ON THIN ICE WITH ME: Whatever you do, don’t see “Larry Crowne.”