“That Awkward Moment” (in theaters Jan. 31) is an R-rated comedy starring Zac Efron, Michael B. Jordan, and Miles Teller as bros looking to score with hot ladies. The trailer indicates that one of the bros hooks up with another bro’s lady friend, leading to hilarity. The bros also joke with one another about their wieners. In other words, it’s a pretty traditional R-rated comedy about bros, except that it’s been given an awful, Internet-inspired title that will seem dated in two years. Will this sort of titling become a trend? We hypothesize that the answer is YES.
“All the Feels”
Sixteen-year-old Becca (Selena Gomez) is resentful about moving to a small North Carolina town to live with her father (Tom Skerritt), but she’s glad to make friends with Briyan (Ezra Miller), an outcast boy her age who’s totally nice but not like, hot, or whatever. He’s just a friend. Then she starts dating Ramp Broadbent (Chord Overstreet), who is super hot and popular, but she starts to think maybe she actually DOES like Briyan in a romantic way. And to top it all off, her dad gets cancer. You guys, what is she gonna do??? She has … All the Feels. Based on the Nicholas Sparks novel.
“I Can’t Even with This”
In this inspiring true story of courage and determination, an adventurous young mountain climber named Rip Dunlop (Chris Hemsworth) is critically injured in a car accident, leaving him blind and legless. But not having eyesight or legs doesn’t mean you can’t climb mountains! With steely resolve and a never-say-die attitude, Rip works tirelessly to retrain himself so he can once again scale the majestic heights of Mother Earth. There are times when it gets really tough and Rip thinks he can’t even with this. But you know what? He can. He can even with this.
“Pics Or It Didn’t Happen”
Nerdy amateur photographer Drik Mirkin (Jesse Eisenberg), who’s super old-school and uses an actual camera-camera (not his phone), takes some random pictures at a raging house party while the cool kids are having fun. The next day, beautiful Serena Lovelace (Mila Kunis) says some creep pawed her while she was passed out drunk, but she doesn’t know who did it and can’t prove it even took place. But wait — Drik’s photos may reveal useful information that sets the story straight and wins him a girlfriend! It’s “Blow-up” meets “Rashomon” in “Pics Or It Didn’t Happen”!
When old curmudgeon Bernard Schliff (Harrison Ford) is diagnosed with terminal dandruff, he decides it’s time to grab life by the horns, or the tail, or wherever one grabs life, and accomplish the things he always wanted to do but never did because he was busy being a cranky bastard who hates everything. After all, he figures, you only live once. With “YOLO” as his rallying cry, he embarks on a whirlwind adventure that takes him around the world, only to find that the real YOLO … was love.
The day after he’s bitten by a radioactive monkey, mild-mannered high school senior Brett Babcock (Miles Teller) wakes up with all the powers of that monkey: great strength, the ability to swing with agility from tree branches, and the ability to fling his poop much farther than before. Motivated by the death of his uncle during a botched pornography store robbery, Brett vows to use his newfound powers to fight crime, acting under the name Totes Amazeballs. But it isn’t long before Totes Amazeballs attracts the attention of Gothamopolis’ criminal underworld, including the notorious Major Suckage. It’s a battle for the ages (ages 13-19, specifically)!
Famed brain surgeon Dexter Cutter (Jon Hamm) is at the peak of his career when he learns that he actually failed one of the required courses for his medical degree, and thus did not technically graduate, and thus cannot legally practice medicine! The reason he only just now found this out is, like, a paperwork error or something. We don’t know. Just take our word for it, he has to go back to college and re-take that class — and he has to do it before the crusty hospital director (Elaine Stritch) finds out. It’s a medical comedy that will have you in stitches, lol!
“This Woman Started Working with a Man She Didn’t Get Along With. You Won’t Believe What Happened Next”
They fell in love. OK, maybe it’s not that hard to believe after all.